Eagan at the Movies

Nomadland                                                                                                     ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Promising Young Woman                                                                           ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: A promising young future Oscar winner. 

There are aspects of our culture that you would think that we would have overcome by now. Sure we still have our obsessive need to discriminate, hold on to worn out traditions, and try to reshape history so that it doesn't look as bad as it actually was. College rape culture though. We're past that one at least right? Like, nobody defends that, right? Um, right? 

"Promising Young Woman" follows "Cassie Thomas" (Carey Mulligan) who, after a tragedy involving a close friend from college, "Nina", has made it her personal mission in life to pose as a drunk woman at bars and wait for supposed "nice guys" to pick her up, then take advantage of her while she's apparently inebriated. Once they're trapped, Cassie reveals her ruse to them and ruthlessly berates them for what they planned to do, keeping track of her targets while she does. She lives with her parents, "Stanley" (Clancy Brown) and "Susan" (Jennifer Coolidge), and has let her personal mission control her life, though she does start to change her mind when she falls for a doctor, "Ryan" (Bo Burnham). However, after learning the one responsible for what happened to Nina, the proclaimed cool guy that everybody likes, "Al Monroe" (Chris Lowell), returns to the picture to get married, Cassie goes after all of the ones who played a role in the incident, exacting her vengeance.  

From first time director, writer, and producer, Emerald Fennell (With Margot Robbie also serving as a producer), "Promising Young Woman" is kind of demented. It's an unhinged, nonchalantly twisted piece of work that despite a humorous tone centered around it, still makes for one of the darkest movies this year. Basically the term "Pulling your punches" doesn't mean crap to this movie. It instead intends to take a hammer to your face, then kick you in the crotch just for the Hell of it. It's the right amount of uncomfortable, and Fennell's genre-bending screenplay and suspenseful direction bring it all together in a complex puzzle of strangeness. The movie is filled with well crafted scenes, along with simplistic, yet memorable cinematography. It looks gorgeously, with clever use of color and background imagery. Despite the really dark subtext, there are a lot of funny moments, even though these bits might make one cringe or wince at the same time. 

Much of what carries the film is Carey Mulligan, who makes for an incredible presence in the film. Sympathetic one moment, terrifying the next, and at times, quite unlikable, the character goes through various moods and changes throughout, and Mulligan keeps the character grounded. She further compels the audience to follow her even when they're disturbed by some of her actions. While this is Carey Mulligan's show, the film has an excellent ensemble of recognizable faces, such as Bo Burnham (Who Mulligan has terrific chemistry with), Alison Brie (as "Madison", an old college acquaintance of Cassie's), Clancy Brown, Jennifer Coolidge, Laverne Cox (as "Gail", Cassie's boss), Chris Lowell, Max Greenfield (as a dumb buddy of Al's), Alfred Molina (as "Jordan Green", Al's lawyer), Connie Britton (as the dean of Cassie's college), Molly Shannon (as Nina's mother), along with Adam Brody and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (as a pair of Cassie's unsuspecting "victims"). 

"Promising Young Woman" addresses some worn out old sayings, such as "Well, what do you expect?", "Maybe she was asking for it.", or "Boys will be boys", without the need of portraying everything as good and evil, but also not letting those who allow for such actions off easy. It just so happens to do so with a somewhat sadistic smirk. While I can see some not exactly getting behind where the film eventually concludes, it remains fully committed to the twisting and turning tone that's been set up, and is either way, anything but predictable. 3 1/2 Stars. Rated R For Strong Adult Content, And Untrustworthy Guys Who Just Can't Help Themselves.    

Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy - Earthrise                                                                                                                                                                                                        ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Wonder Woman 1984                                                                                  ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: An Angel with really shiny wings.

Is this really the future of cinema right here? Releasing upcoming films both in theaters and on streaming at the same time? This actually does somewhat have me worried. I don't think that the art of film is never going to recover, or that movie theaters will all shut down (Though they most certainly will take a hit. Then again though, what can you do?). I'm more worried that we might just be past the point of no return (People might just be too used to this), and that studios might be preparing for the long haul. We're going to be feeling the effects of Covid long after its gone, and that's hoping it goes away anytime soon. So with all that said, something inspiring good old fashioned superhero heroism in a year without it (It's jarring not to have a Marvel movie this year) was needed.  

"Wonder Woman 1984" follows the powerful and immortal Themascarian Amazon princess and warrior, "Diana Prince" (Gal Gadot), aka "Wonder Woman", as she secretly fights crime all over the world, while also working in the Washington D.C. Smithsonian as an anthropologist. While in D.C., she befriends a socially insecure archaeologist, "Barbara Minerva" (Kristen Wiig) and studies ancient cultures, such as a mysterious relic, known as the "Dreamstone" (Which can supposedly grant any wish one desires. For a price of course). Diana is still heartbroken over the loss of her true love, "Steve Trevor" (Chris Pine) back in World War I, wishing that she can somehow be reunited with him. Her wish is granted, with Steve (Inhabiting the body of somebody else) is resurrected, bringing the two together once more. However, charismatic, power hungry oil tycoon and television personality, "Maxwell Lord" (Pedro Pascal), has been searching for the Dreamstone and plans to use it to achieve the greater power that he's always felt that was owed to him. 

After schmoozing it off Barbara (Who has also made a wish to become both really hot and scary strong), Max wishes to become one with the Dreamstone, allowing him the ability to grant any wish, while achieving incredible power at the same time, along with total insanity. Diana and Steve know that such power in the wrong hands could unleash Monkey's Paw style chaos on the entire planet, with the lives of many now hanging in the balance. Now Diana and Steve must travel across the globe to track down Max and find a way to put an end to his madness before his actions bring an end to the world. Meanwhile, Barbara, who has no intention of losing the power and confidence she's always wanted, slowly begins her own transformation, putting herself at odds with Diana. 

With Patty Jenkins ("Monster") returning to direct and co-write along with David Callaham and comic book writer, Geoff Johns (Known for his "Justice League" and "Green Lantern" runs), "Wonder Woman 1984" has a lot to live up to. This is not just considering the fact that the original was the first truly remarkable entry into the "DC Extended Universe", proving that the franchise could work with the right team behind it. It also all around wonderful film that just so happens to give the female audience their own superhero to look up to. (For the longest time, female comic book movies either failed miserably or were intentionally pushed to the side out of fear that they wouldn't be successful) This sequel goes much bigger, grander, and due to the 80s aesthetic, more colorful than ever before. Perhaps the film goes somewhat overboard in some places, but for what it gets right, it does so in spectacular fashion. 

 The film has a lot to get out of the way once it opens, with some new characters to introduce, along with detailed plotlines that can only get explanations as the film progresses. It can be bit to take in, especially when you know that the film is two and a half hours long. Then again though, once the film finds its footing, it gives the fans everything they could want from a "Wonder Woman" movie, mixed with a certain goofy charm that comes with the 80s. Clearly Patty Jenkins was inspired by the old fashioned sense of the older "Superman" films or the golden age era of comic books. Considering most DC films have this almost drug-addicted need to be as dark as humanly possible (What is it with Zack Snyder and his absolute hatred of color?), going back to the era that while of course, somewhat cheesy, at least gives you more personality and a sense of fun that's been sorely lacking from too many of these films. Also, who doesn't miss old school heroics? It's best shown in an early sequence involving Diana as she faces off against some incompetent criminals in a retro styled mall in a rather comedic, yet still badass fashion. The film remembers to keep a good sense of humor, which makes you actually care for the characters, especially when things get a bit more serious as the movie really gets into the complicated plot.  

The film's visuals are gloriously wild and vibrant, and make for more than a few stunning action sequences, such as a chase scene in Cairo. There's also a beautiful scene with Diana and Steve piloting an invisible jet through a fireworks display (The fact that they even found a way to include the invisible jet without it looking silly at all deserves praise). Underneath all of that is something very human, which despite some of the story's more out there moments (What the Dreamstone is or where it came from is one of those "Just go with it" sort of plot points), is really what elevates the film past some shortcomings, preventing the film from being overindulgent. The lighter tone doesn't shy away from the film's deeper message, along with the dark implications of what such power in the wrong hands could be capable of. It also addresses what it takes to overcome such things, with themes of hope and believing that our humanity will win out in the end despite our obvious flaws. It's actually a very fitting metaphor for the film as a whole now that I think about it.

Gal Gadot, who by this point embodies the character so much that I can only see her in this part from now on, is stunning once again, showcasing the heroine's strength, weaknesses, and endearing grace in her expressions and body language alone. Her chemistry with Chris Pine, who also gets a lot of great comedic moments reacting to the new world around him, is what carries the film and gives it its heart. It's one of those movie relationships where you care so much for both characters and can't help but follow them through anything. Pedro Pascal, who is like Donald Trump except more charming, funny, capable, makes for a compelling antagonist (You know what, aside from the hair, he's actually nothing like Donald Trump), greedily hi-jacks his scenes, while Kristen Wiig is rather perfectly cast. Her later transformation into full "Cheetah" also looks pretty solid all things considered. (Although it's strange to say that the characters from last year's "Cats" are actually much scarier than the actual cat person whose supposed to be menacing) We also get brief appearances in flashbacks from Connie Nielsen (as "Hippolyta", Diana's mother) and Robin Wright (as "Antiope", Diana's aunt/mentor), who are very much welcome. Where the first film somewhat faltered once it reached its third act, this one ends up being elevated by its own. The finale, instead of going bigger and better, surprisingly keeps it contained despite the larger scale implications. However, once the point the film is making becomes apparent, it's perfectly explained. The emotions speak for themselves and resonate well in today's rather divided, antagonistic world. (I also appreciate the nod to a certain controversial moment from the comics and how its handled in a more thoughtful, less violent fashion)

 A bit too much of a good thing at times, "Wonder Woman 1984" makes up for its flaws of ambition with honesty and a sincere nature. Unlike most films in the DC Extended Universe (Something I fear next year's "Zack Snyder's Justice League" will only further neglect), this movie offers hopeful inspiration, a sweet smile, and enough charm to make up for any mistakes. It's the heroism that you wish to see from your iconic heroes, and the kind that further motivate you to be better than you even think you could possibly be. Lets see your precious "Snyder Cut" do that! 3 1/2 Stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Content, Pervy Men, Superhero Action, And Too Much 80s For The Average Person To Handle. 

Soul                                                                                                                  ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: Music Smurf steps into a completely different movie.

Merry Christmas everyone! We've been through a lot this year, but we at least made it hear. Not to mention, our streaming services had special presents just for us. Released through "Disney+", both "Walt Disney Pictures" and "Pixar Animation Studios" (After the whole "Mulan" thing didn't quite work out) have decided to gift us with yet another instant classic for the whole family to enjoy. However, this one also has something deeper than what your children might be used to. Only Pixar has the guts to do something like this.

"Soul" follows middle grade school band instructor, "Joe Gardner" (Jamie Foxx), a lover of music and jazz, having always dreamed of becoming a professional musician, though sadly, never actually has been able to achieve his goal. Thanks to an old student turned drummer, "Curley" (Questlove),Joe is able to get a gig with renowned jazz musician, "Dorothea Williams" (Angela Bassett), which may change his life forever despite also getting offered a full time teaching position at the school. Joe, lost completely in the thought of his dreams finally coming true, ends up falling down an open manhole to an unexpected death. (Sort of) Joe's soul, now in a squishy, puffy form, begins to move on to the "Great Beyond", but Joe isn't ready yet, escaping into "The Great Before". Within the Great Before, at the "You Seminar" all souls are assigned personalities by astral beings called "Soul Concelors", all named "Jerry" (Alice Braga and Richard Ayoade). 

At the seminar, Joe poses as an instructor to find a way back to Earth, being assigned assist a rather cynical soul, "22" (Tina Fey), who wants nothing to do with Earth or life itself, believing it to not be worth the hassle. While searching for 22's purpose in life, she and Joe find a way back to Earth with help from the spiritual sign twirling, "Moonwind" (Graham Norton), while they're being pursued by the overly into her job, "Terry" (Rachel House). Joe and 22's journey leads them to an unexpected place, which I dare not spoil. Lets just say that there's more to this movie than advertised.       

Directed by Pete Doctor ("Monsters Inc.", "Up", "Inside Out"), with a co-directing credit to Kemp Powers (Who also co-wrote it along with Doctor), "Soul" has got to be one of Pixar's more ambitious and surreal projects yet. It's also got to be their most mature in many different, unpredictable ways. The movie doesn't flow exactly like your average family fare. Granted, Pixar, and a lot of the time Disney too, have been known for such things. Movies like "Up", "Finding Nemo", "Ratatouille", and  the "Toy Story" series have some more grown up based themes, but this is on a whole new level. The humor is actually different as well. Sure we get some well timed slapstick and quick gags. There is a lot of humor that actually just comes from the characters interacting. It's also balanced out beautifully with a very deep, authentically real feeling story which fittingly focuses on the lively world that the characters inhabit. It's a film about life and what life can bring, and the movie, without having to overplay it, carefully crafts loads of great characters, who range from major to supporting roles. However, every single one of them is memorable and I love how the film finds a way of making them each play their part in the story. 

The animation is a sight to behold, making for one of the best looking films (Animated or otherwise) out there. It looks real, though never too overly so. The human characters have slight exaggeration, but don't feel out of place (Look closely and you'll notice how nobody looks remotely the same). The souls and other abstract beings are simple in design, yet are used for some incredible imagery. It's all really original what the filmmakers have come up with, and jaw droppingly creative. (Also, the design on a certain cat, "Mr. Mittens", is just too adorable) The animation, which blends between styles (Traditional 2D animation is wonderfully utulized in a few sequences), could be a game changer for the art form, and I appreciate how well the its used in the film, without having to heavily rely on it. The score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, along with a few songs by Jon Batiste, really captures the look and feel of what's shown to us. It's fitting how the main character gravitates towards music (Jazz specifically, which always a fascinating sound to me), and how expertly it's interwoven into the narrative to coincide with the themes of life, death, fulfillment, and existence. All of this is something that your kids might not fully understand. With that said, the movie doesn't talk down to kids, but it also doesn't alienate them. It's a little baffling how the filmmakers knew how to give plenty to appeal to the youngsters, a human narrative for the adults, and some things for the whole family to contemplate together. 

Jamie Foxx gives one of those all time great voice performances. Almost unrecognizable if you didn't know it, he perfectly encompasses his character, matching his expressions (Both in his human and soul form), bringing a lot of humor and depth. Tina Fey is also phenomenal, getting a lot of laughs, while providing an emotional core. There's a lot of strong supporting roles for Questlove, Angela Bassett, Alice Braga, Richard Ayoade, and a really warm performance from Phylicia Rashad (as "Libba", Joe's mother), while Rachel House and Graham Norton spend most of the time stealing whatever scene they're in. There's a sense of unpredictability to the film, a lot of which is nowhere to be found in the trailers and commercials (Unless you look very carefully), and I appreciate how it never goes the supposed easy route, even though it easily could have. To a degree, one wouldn't even mind if it had. Pixar deserves a lot of credit for not wanting to do your usual family fare, complete with all of the typical, obligatory tropes that come with it, but instead want to make an actual film that one would feel to urge to take inspiration from, even if you don't have any kids. 

"Soul" is Pixar doing what it does best, while offering a much different outlook than even what the studio has been known for. It blends in some African American culture in a subtle manner, though also makes it easy for anyone to feel for and relate to. (There are so many subtle little details that it warrants another viewing, aside from how good the film is) There's something very special about this one. You get laughs, heart, and spiritual insight explained in a completely original fashion, along with of course, maybe a few moments that will certainly get a few small tears out of you. It's Pixar. You can resist all you want, but you know it's going to happen at some point. Thoughtful, fun, and stunning to the eye, it really makes you appreciate that after all you may have been through this year, you're still alive and still free to leave your mark on a flawed, yet beautiful place. How many movies this year have been able to do that? Let alone one aimed at all ages? 4 Stars. Rated PG For Some Slightly Mature Moments And Theoretical Constructs Too Much For Our Tiny Brains To Possibly Comprehend. 

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom                                                                         ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Songbird                                                                                                                        ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "I'm sorry I'm not wearing my mask....It's my constitutional right!"

Imbecilic. Brain-Dead. Simple-Minded. Thoughtless. An intellectual failure to all of the aspects that make us the supposed superior species on the planet. Guys, I can only find so many synonyms for the word "Stupid". So bear with me. 

"Songbird" takes place in dystopian future world of.....2024. COVID-19 has become COVID-23. The United States is in a permanent lockdown, with the Department of Sanitation taking those infected into concentration camp-like facilities known as "Q-Zones". (It's Tucker Carlson's worst nightmare come to life!) However, packages continue to get delivered, thanks to the delivery business run by "Lester" (Craig Robinson). Set in Los Angeles, we follow a delivery package courier, "Nico" (KJ Apa), who is immune to the virus and is in a virtual relationship with a young caretaker, "Sara" (Sofia Carson), as she takes care of her sick grandmother, "Lita" (Elpidia Carrillo). Meanwhile in another storyline, a rich couple, "Piper Griffin" (Demi Moore) and her husband, "William" (Bradley Whitford), are most likely up to shady things, while taking care of their daughter, "Emma" (Lia McHugh). Then in yet another storyline, another courier, "Michael Dozer" (Paul Walter Hauser), a former war vet delivering packages with drones due to being in a wheelchair, befriends pretty aspiring singer, "May" (Alexandra Daddario), though she is trapped in an abusive affair with William. When Sara's grandmother becomes infected with the virus, it attracts the attention of the Department of Sanitation, along with their wacko leader, "Emmett Harland" (Peter Stormare). Determined to save the love of his life, Nico sets out to get some immunity bands for Sara and her grandmother (Although that doesn't actually mean  that they are immune. So doesn't that meant that they risk the possibility of catching or at least spreading the virus? Didn't think that one through, did ya?), while avoiding Hardland and his Nazi-esque hazmat suit wearing henchmen. 

 Produced by Michael Bay, though directed by the mostly unknown Adam Mason (His IMDB page is mostly made up of short films), "Songbird" is basically a Michael Bay ripoff since it contains many of his trademarks and still has his stink all over it. (Everyone in Michael Bay's universe is ungodly sweaty) I'd say that the timing of this movie was terrible, if not for the fact that the filmmakers intentionally made it so. The premise and overall concept behind the movie is incredibly bizarre and for many, could be seen as horribly offensive, considering how many have both died and suffered over the course of this pandemic. However, the most offensive part of the entire film is just how intellectually impaired it seems to be. Calling it dumb would be too lenient a word, and would unfairly compare it to perfectly harmless and more enjoyable dumb things in life. The movie is a festering pot of stupid ideas that are barely connected to one another, and only crumble under each other's inept thickheadedness, that it only seems the filmmakers were hoping nobody would notice or care. The world that's set up doesn't make remotely any sense, and neither do the places the plot ends up going. Why are those immune to the virus (Or "Munies", as the film calls them) just told to go around making deliveries, instead of using these people to look for a cure? How exactly did the Department of Sanitation become so militarized? Where does Nico expect to go with Sara? The film never states that, if she's immune, Isn't she, you know, going to die? I could go on with these pointless questions that nobody has answers for. 

The film's focus on KJ Apa and Sofia Carson (Both of which are capable actors), results in a cheesily written, agonizingly boring storyline that still isn't enough to fill up the film's short eighty-five minute runtime. Apa and Carson can't overcome the overabundance of cringe, and it's more depressing to watch than anything. Craig Robinson is the movie's attempt at humor (Although he doesn't actually contribute much the more I think about it), while Demi Moore looks like she would rather be anywhere but here. Bradley Whitford looks continuously perplexed, while Alexandra Daddario (And her pretty eyes) doesn't do anything aside from pad out the movie. Paul Walter Hauser is trying his best, but his subplot gets increasingly more ludicrous as it continues. The real scene-stealer, as expected, would be Peter Stormare, who at least gets a few laughs in the movie (Some of them even intentional). You have to give the guy credit, no matter what, he always gives it 110%. 

Aside from making the intentional decision to refrain from explaining literally anything, "Songbird" also seemingly doesn't even know what its actual stance is on the whole lockdown situation is anyways. It's like the film is implying that while the virus is very much real, can kill you, and will affect those around you, love is more important and screw anyone who says otherwise. That's a horrible message to tell people! I work at a CVS and still get people telling me that the virus isn't real or that it's not that bad. Showing an apocalyptic future, with a Nazi regime forcing people to stay in lockdown is only going to give these morons more fodder. The direction is sloppy and obnoxious, the writing is full of clichés, and so slow paced that even with the short runtime, it feels like you've been watching it for hours. Worst of all, it's just so moronic, which is more insulting to those who have sadly lost loved ones to this pandemic and those will may continue to lose more to it before it's over. It would have been one thing if the film took a side on the debate (Why there's even a debate is beyond me), but the film lacks the brain power to even do that. If you have nothing important to say, maybe you should have kept your damn mouth shut! 1/2 Star. Rated PG-13 For Glistening Sweat, Little Social Distancing, A Little Blood, And A Whole Lotta Stupid! 

Monster Hunter                                                                                                 ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

The Prom                                                                                                            ★★★  out of ★★★★

Image: Donny and Marie make their long awaited comeback.

Can movies be comfort food? I'd like to think so, especially when we still have the rest of December to get through before we finally reach 2021 (Anyone else waiting for an apocalyptic event to happen? I hear we have a Michael Bay pandemic based movie on the way. Does that count?). Sometimes something silly and kind of cheesy to simply make you smile, and enjoy the simpler things in life. 

Based on the 2018 Broadway musical from Matthew Sklar, "The Prom" follows New York stage actors, "Dee Dee Allen" (Meryl Streep) and "Barry Glickman" (James Corden), after their newest Broadway extravaganza, "Eleanor" (A musical based on Eleanor Roosevelt), fails miserably with the critics, mostly due to Dee Dee and Barry's public image. However, they see an opportunity for a better image when they discover that in a small town in Indiana, the leader of the Parent Teacher Association, "Mrs. Greene" (Kerry Washington) has had the local high school cancel the Prom because a young Lesbian girl, "Emma" (Jo Ellen Pellman), wanted to take her secret girlfriend/Mrs. Greene's daughter, "Alyssa" (Ariana DeBose). Dee Dee and Barry, along with some fellow washed up actors, such as a former chorus girl "Angie Dickinson" (Nicole Kidman), "Trent Oliver" (Andrew Rannells) an all over the place actor whose name nobody can remember, and their publicist, "Sheldon Saperstein" (Kevin Chamberlin), head out to Indiana in hopes of swooping in and saving the day. Of course, the entire situation becomes more of a debacle than it already was. With help from Emma's supportive, Broadway loving principal, "Tom Hawkins" (Keegan-Michael Key), they are able to get the prom back on, though still have to deal with the town's bigotry as well as their own personal problems.    

Directed by Ryan Murphy (Does the man ever take a day off?), with a screenplay by Chad Beguelin and Bob Martin (Co-writers of the original Broadway show), "The Prom", much like from what I've head about the actual source material, is pretty generic and safe by stage musical standards. I'm mostly only assuming that the film adaptation isn't too much different and remains plenty faithful to the original. The movie doesn't do much new, and if you're not a fan of bombastic musicals, you are sure as Hell not going to be having any of this. Me, being someone with a bit of a guilty soft spot for them, had a complete blast with this movie. It's goofy and sparkly all over, but the film knows it's full of cheese and embraces it with sense of earnestness that's rather hard not to admire. The screenplay is smart enough to get by the predictable plotting, especially with the well timed funny back and forth between characters, which also find their place in the very poignant story without undercutting the message of understanding and accepting those different than you. (While bigotry is still allowed to exist, we will always need to heard this moral)

Meryl Streep, who actually may or may not be playing an exaggerated version of herself here (And boy, is he having the time of her life doing it), is just dazzling here, giving a reminder as to why the Academy seemed to be obligated to give her at least one Oscar nomination per year for a while. James Corden, though I can see why some in the LGBTQ community could see it as a questionable role (We are getting to the point that it might be best to you know, actually cast gay people as gay characters), is also pretty excellent and is much funnier here than he's been in a while. Streep and Corden together make for a flawless (And dare I say, fabulous) duo. Nicole Kidman, aside from being pretty on almost inhuman levels, gets one of the most memorable musical sequences (Though she has the smallest role out of the group), Kevin Chamberlin is a delight, and Andrew Rannells gets some of the biggest laughs, especially when seemingly poking fun at himself considering he too seems to be unknown despite appearing in various projects. (Wait! He was the narrator on "Sonic X"? I have questions....) Kerry Washington makes for a detestable antagonist, while Keegan-Michael Key has surprisingly fantastic chemistry with Meryl Streep. Special praise is also given to mostly newcomers, Jo Ellen Pellman and Ariana De Bose, who both convey human sympathy to their characters, as well as do a fine job keeping up with the more veteran performers. 

I can't say the songs in "The Prom" are anything I am going to actively seek out. However, they're all catchy and fun to listen to, especially with Ryan Murphy's lively, boisterous direction, which has energy to spare. It's clear that a lot of hard work went into the production design, and it shows in how nearly excessively detailed the dance choreography is. The film is authentic and old fashioned to a fault. With that said, it's so likable and most importantly of all, just so much fun. Nothing particularly nutritious, but comforting nonetheless. 3 Stars. Rated PG-13 For Slight Adult Content And Enough Gayness To Make Any Bigot Wet Themselves.  

Mank                                                                                                                ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Citizen Oscar Winner.

I still think that regardless of how many last minute movies come out this year, we are not going to have an Oscars. An actual show even happening might now seems most unlikely (How strange would it be to see it done via "Zoom" call? How would that even look?). I've been wrong before, but no matter how many last minute hopefuls show up, it's not going to be the same either way. Still, even with the several wonderful performances I've seen this year, I'm very confident that the race for the Best Actor category might already be over.  

"Mank" recaps the events that led up to the creation of one of cinema's greatest achievements, "Citizen Kane". The film follows once the renowned, but not washed up and depressing, Hollywood screenwriter, "Herman J. Mankiewicz" (Gary Oldman), also referred to as "Mank". He is recruited by actor/director/guy who voiced the giant evil planet in the animated "Transformers" movie, "Orson Welles" (Tom Burke), to write the screenplay for his next big movie. Throughout the film, we see flashbacks of what led Mank to where he is now, along with what would inspire the characters in "Citizen Kane", and the darker underbelly of old Hollywood that has a tendency to get left unaddressed these days. 

From director David Fincher ("Zodiac", "The Social Network", "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", "Gone Girl"), and based on a long unproduced screenplay by his late father, Jack Fincher (Who passed away back in 2003, with screenplay having been written back in the 1990s), "Mank" feels personal and could be seen as a little indulgent by some. (Fincher has become known for stuff like that) In a way however, that personal feeling does add an extra layer of pathos to the film, which itself makes up for its moments of indulgence by being immensely entertaining. Fincher's direction, which is done in a very grainy black and white (Which is complete by occasional dark spots that appear on the screen. I know it's a bit of a gimmick, but damn is that cool!), is as old fashioned looking as you can get. It beautifully encompasses the time period itself, along both with that certain atmosphere and aesthetic that classic films have ingrained into our memories of it. It's perfectly fitting way to tell this story, complete with a lot of nods to the golden era of filmmaking, which any cinephile is sure to adore. The dialogue is fast and sharp-witted, but lingers long enough to be profound. There is something deeper here than first advertised, and even while Fincher's style can be hard to completely follow, you are captivated by it all. 

The big seller here would be Gary Oldman. The man is generally nothing short of astounding (And the fact it took so long for him to get Oscar consideration, let alone an actual win, is one of the Academy's many crimes), but here, he's on another level, much like he was in 2017's "Darkest Hour". bringing vulnerability to go with the real life character's droll, seemingly self destructive nature. Amanda Seyfried (as "Marion Davies", mistress to "William Randolf Hearst", who Herman sees a kindred spirit in) is damn near unrecognizable, giving a very sincere look into subject that historically might have been overlooked. Lily Collins (as "Rita Alexander", Herman's secretary, who assists in writing the screenplay) is wonderful, while we get some more excellent performances out of Charles Dance (as "William Randolf Hearst", who is the likely inspiration for "Citizen Kane"), Arliss Howard (as "Louis B. Mayer", co-founder of MGM, who gets a very memorable monologue), Tom Burke (Who really sounds like Orson Welles), Tuppence Middleton (as "Sara", Herman's wife, who really had to put up with a lot), Tom Pelphrey (as "Joseph", Herman's brother), and a few other recognizable faces portraying other recognizable faces from cinema's history. 

Much like its titular subject matter, "Mank" might be somewhat uneven in how it finds its way to its conclusion. But the subject is always interesting and oddly enthralling. You're left in awe of the technical achievement regardless. However, there is something quite unforgettable about it. It's one of those movies that's enjoyable in the moment, though only gets more and more fascinating the more you think about it. It's a true writer's and director's movie, through and through, which is very fitting in the end. 3 1/2 Stars. Rated R For Language, Adult Content, And All That 1930s to 1940s Way Of Speaking. 

Hillbilly Elegy                                                                                                          ★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "I'M supposed to win the Oscar!" "...."No, I'M supposed to win It!"

How does one have Oscar bait when there might not be an Oscars this upcoming year? Granted, it still doesn't help when you really don't deserve to win anything. At all. 

Based on the memoir of the same name by "JD Vance" (Portrayed by Owen Asztalos as a child, then by Gabriel Basso as an adult), "Hillbilly Elegy" follows JD as he temporarily leaves Yale Law School and his girlfriend, "Usha" (Frieda Pinto), to return to his Northern Kentucky home after getting a phone call from his sister, "Lindsay" (Haley Bennett). Lindsay informs JD that their mother, "Beverly" (Amy Adams), has overdosed on heroin and is in the hospital. Throughout the film, we see JD during his youth as he struggles with his emotionally abusive mother, troubled living conditions, and his eventual time living with his wise old, "Mamaw" (Glenn Close). 

Directed by Ron Howard (THE Ron Howard), with a screenplay by Vanessa Taylor ("The Shape of Water"), "Hillbilly Elegy" has the makings of a good, inspiring melodrama, complete with high caliber actors, an acclaimed director, and an American based story that the Academy usually goes nuts over. All the ingredients are there. Unfortunately though,the final product is not only not up to the task, but it also seems to have the delusional idea that it actually is. It's one thing for a movie to not be very good. It's another for it to feel as if it's great despite not actually doing anything worth much praise. Maybe some mockery perhaps, but nothing praise worthy. For such a good director that Ron Howard can be, the movie feels detached and oddly underwhelming, even with the overly sweeping score and in your face "insightful" screenplay, which can't balance tone to save its own life. Where it mostly falters is how the story is told, with the present being used as a framing device and everything else being told in flashback, though still at times out of order. The story rushes through most of the events, seemingly hoping that either the actors can make it work, but the emotions aren't there. It's more annoying than inspiring, and it shouldn't have to be. 

Amy Adams, who has been one of the greatest actresses working today, proves that everyone can have their off days. It's not entirely her fault, due to the inconsistent script. Either way, she overplays her performance, especially when the character is going through a rage-filled explosion. It's too over the top, and it ruins the sincerity of the film's more tender moments. Glenn Close, who in a way might still be overdoing it, at least does so in a more natural way. (Granted, the admittedly solid makeup helps) She gets some good lines to go with the more corny ones, and even though she could be seen as a stereotype, she at least feels real. Owen Asztalos doesn't have much range, while Gabriel Basso fairs a bit better, though Frieda Pinto, while charming (And very pretty), doesn't get much to do. The best performance to me comes from Haley Bennett, who aside from the excellent job done to make her look like a teenager at one point, then again as an adult, feels much more genuine than anyone else. 

"Hillbilly Elegy" is a story that warrants telling, with a focus on an aspect of our country that some feel is overlooked. However, the movie when you get down to it, doesn't actually do it any real justice. It's so blandly done, and fails to keep your attention. It's forgettable schlock to say the least, though the possible award recognition it may or may not get (I know I'm not the only who can see the Academy wrongfully finding way to get this movie some nominations) makes it a little bit more infuriating. With the odds of an Oscars show seeming more unlikely than ever, a movie that doesn't really know the meaning of the word "Humble", shouldn't be given a participation trophy. 1 1/2 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Mamaws Being Mamaws, And Too Many Accents To Count. 

The Croods: A New Age                                                                              ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Fatman                                                                                                                     ★★ out of ★★★★

Image: Oh well, Jewish people weren't getting Christmas presents anyway. 

To say that this is a weird premise is putting things lightly. Completely asinine? Psychologically deranged? In bad taste? Mean spirited? Bad for anyone in a ten mile radius? Just like Mel Gibson! 

"Fatman" follows the not so holly, jolly titular fat man himself, "Chris Cringle" (Mel Gibson), a.k.a. "Santa Clause", who has lost some of his Christmas spirit over the years. Chris, along with his wife, "Ruth" (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), have come to realize that children today are naughtier than ever, which leaves the Christmas icon unable to keep his workshop profitable, meaning that he can't pay his bills. So to make more money, Chris decides to outsource to the United States military, building components for their new fighter jets. Meanwhile, after getting a lump of coal as a present due to his ruthless nature, a spoiled rich boy, "Billy Wenan" (Chance Hurstfield), demands vengeance on the fat man. So Billy hires his hitman, known only as the "Skinny Man" (Walton Goggins), who also happens to have a personal vendetta against Chris, to hunt down the man in red and kill him. Following the letters to Santa, the Skinny Man makes his way to the North Pole to fulfill his contract, while Chris tries to keep his elves and his workshop running despite their new objective. 

From first time directors, Eshorn and Ian Nelms (Who also wrote the screenplay), "Fatman" is an intentionally stupid premise where the humor of the film is meant to come from said stupidity being taken completely seriously. To make something like this work requires a lot of talent and the ability to expertly balance the clear incompatible genres. It's not impossible to make a really dark comedy like this work. However, it's just very noticeable and more disappointing when it doesn't. The film never does quite figure how to bring everything all together, with the various ideas failing to mesh. It's really all that funny, and much too slow paced (And self serious) to get enough stupid laughs out of. It's also well, too freakin stupid to take seriously. 

Mel Gibson, say what you will about him both mentally and morally (Mostly morally), does somehow deliver a pretty solid performance here, He encompasses those traditional Santa mannerisms, along with an action hero gruffness. Chance Hurstfield does a good job playing an evil little sh*t, while Walton Goggins as perfected the art of playing crazy. (He just has that kind of face) Marianne Jean-Baptiste is quite excellent in the film despite all the absurdity. She gives such a heartwarming, strong willed, and most of all, quietly compelling performance. There's also some fun to be had with Eric Woolfe (as "7", the head elf at Chris' workshop), and I feel like there are a few undercooked ideas involving the others elves, the reindeer, or anything else involving the Santa Clause legend that could have been ripe for action movie parody.

While there are a few good one liners here and there, "Fatman" is too tonally jumbled and bizarrely boring (Santa Mel Gibson is being hunted by Walton Goggins. How do you make that boring?). It never goes far enough with the over the top possibilities, and also appears to have too much dedication to trying to make what appears to be an ahem, "legit" movie. It's "Fatman"! Nobody wants you to take this seriously! Maybe something great could have been done with better direction or writing (Probably could have helped if the filmmakers had a bigger budget too), but the end result fails to register. It's a funny idea and sporadically, you can get a dumb laugh. Sadly, the only real comparison I can make for this movie would be a lump of coal in your stocking. That just wrote itself right there. 2 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Bloody Violence, And an Anti-Sematic Santa.        

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey                                                            ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "So Megyn Kelly was wrong, Santa really is black?"

You know, when Netflix isn't going around, cancelling all of your favorite shows ("The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance" was amazing, and you guys should be ashamed of yourselves! And what about "One Day at a Time?...Bastards.), they have been killing it for the most part not only when it comes to Oscar hopefuls, but also, they've been providing some surprisingly excellent family entertainment. With last year's Oscar winning "Klaus", along with this years "The Willoughbys" and "Enola Holmes", we might just have another instant family favorite. 

"Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey" opens with a woman (Phylicia Rashad), telling her grandchildren a story on Christmas Eve. The tale follows fantastical inventor and toymaker, "Jeronicus Jangles" (Played by Justin Cornwell as a young man, then by Forest Whitaker), who is beloved by everyone and is currently on the verge of releasing his greatest invention yet, a sentient matador doll, "Don Juan Diego" (Voiced by Ricky Martin). However, Diego doesn't like the idea of being replicated due to narcissism, so he convinces Jeronicus' ambitious apprentice, "Gustafson" (Played by Miles Barrow as a young man, then by Keegan-Michael Key), to ahem, "borrow" Jeronicus' book of inventions. Jeronicus, distraught over the loss of his life's work, goes into a deep depression, leading to the loss of his confidence, and after the death of his wife, it also results in the estrangement to his daughter, "Jessica" (Played by Diaana Babnicova as a young girl, then by Anika Noni Rose). Years later, Jessica allows for her daughter, "Journey" (Madalen Mills), who also happens to be a gifted, aspiring inventor, to stay with her father up until Christmas is hopes of mending the broken relationship. 

Meanwhile, Jeronicus is now a struggling washed up pawn shop owner, and has found himself unable to keep his shop open due to his lack of new inventions. While staying with Jeronicus, Journey discovers a failed invention from Jeronicus, a little flying robot called "The Buddy 3000", which comes to life through the power of belief. However, Gustafson, having become a renowned toymaker and also having gone through all of Jeronicus' stolen inventions, no longer has anything to present to the public. Working with Don Juan Diego, Gustafson schemes to get his hands on the Buddy, leaving it up to Journey to save the day and return Jeronicus' sense of wonder once more.  

Released through Netflix and directed by David E. Talbert ("First Sunday"), "Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey" from a distance looks like one of those Netflix holiday movies that most of us just shrug off and ignore, seemingly only existing for the least demanding crowd who just want some kind of Christmas movie. I wasn't even planning to review it and simply starting watching it out of curiosity. However, moments into the film, it becomes apparent that there really is something quite magical about it. For something that doesn't have the biggest budget in the world, the film is beautiful to look at, feeling like one of those colorful miniature Christmas towns brought to life, with the world itself being a mix between fairy tale whimsy and elaborate steampunk (Stunningly created through solid CGI and some occasionally flawless stop motion). The film's vague explanation for exactly what it is or how the world works (Magic is possible, but also appears to be scientific at the same time. Plus Jeronicus basically created sentient life and nobody bats an eye), but that is something that is easy to forgive, especially when the logistics of this fantasy world are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It's all made up for how much life the world has to it, along with the obvious care and detail that's been given. 

The soundtrack is also very unique and most shocking of all, very memorable. The film is actually a musical, with songs written by Phillip Lawrence, Davy Nathan, Michael Diskint, and John Legend, which is made up of various music styles, such as a "Broadway" inspiration infused with "R&B". Usually modern day musicals, especially those not distributed by a more well known company ("Disney" really has beaten everyone down, haven't they?), don't tend to get me to not only get invested in the music, but also openly seek out the soundtrack afterwards. There are some terrific songs in the movie, such as the showstopping opener, "This Day", the powerfully sung "Make It Work" (Which allows Anika Noni Rose a chance to show off her amazing voice), and my personal favorite, "Magic Man G" (Who doesn't love a good villain song?). It's a great cast, with Forest Whitaker giving a very sincere and heartfelt performance, along with a wonderful Madalen Mills, who just embodies charm. Keegan-Michael Key is both dastardly and villainous, along with Ricky Martin, who sounds like he's having a great time. There are also a couple likable side characters, such as Lisa Davina Phillip (as "Mrs. Johnston", Jeronicus' nosy/very horny for a kids movie neighbor) and Kieron L. Dyer (as "Edison", Jeronicus' biggest, nerdiest fan). Also, the Buddy 3000 is a pretty adorable, instantly marketable little creation (Even if he does look a little like "WALL-E"). 

 Not without its flaws (There is a lot going on throughout this movie all at once), "Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey" would honestly be the most wholehearted movie I've seen all year. It embraces holiday cheer with the biggest smile you'll ever lay your eyes on, providing a fast, funny, totally magical possible soon to be family favorite that has plenty of heart to spare. It also making way for a new, more diverse audience to enjoy just so happens to be an added bonus (It's literally for everyone!). Considering we still have another month of 2020 to go, we could all use something that doesn't appear to have a remotely cynical bone in its body. 3 1/2 Stars. Rated PG For Christmassy Chaos And Child Endangerment.  

Run                                                                                                                   ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Freaky                                                                                                                  ★★★ out of ★★★★

The Informer                                                                                                      ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Fitting in the first day and making new friends is always the hardest

So this week we got what I like to call the perfect "Have it on in the background" movie. I genuinely mean that as a compliment. 

"The Informer" follows a former soldier and convict, turned FBI informant, "Pete Koslow" (Joel Kinnaman), who is tasked by his superiors, "Erica Wilcox" (Rosamund Pike) and "Montgomery" (Clive Owen), to infiltrate the Polish Mob's drug trade within New York. While trying to bring down the mob's leader, "Ryszard Klimek" (Eugene Lipinski), also known as "The General", a rookie undercover cop (Arturo Castro), ends up dead, resulting in bad business for everyone, and the FBI deciding the abandon Pete. To protect his wife, "Sofia" (Ana de Armas) and daughter, Pete is instructed to take the fall for the murder, being forced to serve jail time for the General, just so he can disrupt his operations from within prison for the FBI, who have every intention of screwing him over if it becomes necessary to do so. While Pete struggles to survive prison, an NYPD cop, "Edward Grens" (Common), begins to do some digging around, uncovering the ongoing federal conspiracy, working with Pete to protect his family from both his enemies and supposed allies long enough for him to get out of prison. 

Directed by Andrea Di Stefano, "The Informer" is a predictable thriller, that doesn't exactly warrant a high recommendation, but if you have nothing better going on in your life at the moment (And especially if I compare it to "After We Collided"), this movie at least accomplishes, you know, being an actual movie. The movie looks good, with some solid enough action and genuine suspense despite the lack of actual surprises. It's also just oddly sloppy, with elements that don't mean much later on and focus being pulled in different directions than from where the plot seemed to be intended. The thing is that it's a little hard to  figure out if that was intentional or not. I guess it's just a bit of a mess of a movie, that only serves to get the job done as quickly as possible, and yeah, it does actually. 

Joel Kinnaman does a good job here, remaining complicated, but sympathetic and of course capable in a well done action scene. There are some actually excellent performances from some of the actors, such as Rosamund Pike (Who is overqualified for this) and Common (Regaining his natural charisma after losing it in "Ava"). Clive Owen can play a scumbag in his sleep, and obviously does a great job doing it. Eugene Lipinski is an intimidating presence, though his role diminishes as the film progresses, to the point he straight up vanishes halfway through. Ana de Armas is criminally underused however, being stuck in the sidelines as a damsel in distress. For the most part, there is just enough depth to most of the lead characters, which make them just barely enough of something worth getting invested in. 

"The Informer" isn't a movie that sticks with you. It's also not a bad one by any means. There's enough to it to make for an entertaining distraction, but quite frankly, there just isn't enough to talk about. Watching it, whether it's on TV or rented, simply as a means of wasting a couple hours or while you just need some background noise, you at least get something competently made, though very flawed regardless. I'd say that this was just something to waste a little time before the bigger last minute Winter releases come out, but you know, Covid just won't let us have fun again just quite yet. And fun isn't allowed until 2021....Maybe. 2 1/2 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Violence, And Our Corrupt Officials At Work.     

Friendsgiving                                                                                                          ★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Oh my God, there's gonna' be SO much COVID!

Is this why we never get Thanksgiving movies? Or why nobody ever actually promotes Thanksgiving? (We seem to go from Halloween to Christmas in less than twenty four hours after the kids stop trick or treating) I am very desperate to review movies lately.....

"Friendsgiving" follows two best friends on Thanksgiving Day, a now single mother "Molly" (Malin Åkerman), who has just had a divorce, and the only semi-recently come out of the closet, "Abby" (Kat Dennings), who went through a bad breakup. Molly and Abby agreed to spend the holiday together, but there end up being a few complications. Actually, there ends being a lot of complications, with some of them not really making much sense. Firstly, Molly neglected to tell Abby about her rebound lover, "Jeff" (Jack Donnelly), along with others starting to invite themselves over as well, including Molly's neglectful mother, "Helen" (Jane Seymour), another friend, "Lauren" (Aisha Tyler) and her husband, "Dan" (Dean Cole), Molly's ex, "Gunnar" (Ryan Hansen), their weird friend, "Claire" (Chelsea Peretti), some lesbians, and other annoying, forgettable characters. Too many people cramped together, some more passive than others, and our leads going through very stressful points in their lives, what could possibly go wrong?  

Written and directed by first timer, Nicol Paone, with producing credits from Malin Åkerman and Ben Stiller, "Friendsgiving" is a very low budget, sitcom-esque, and basically plot-free comedy that would be more forgivable if there was, well, actually comedy in the comedy. It's not to say that there aren't humorous moments (Or at least moments that I think were meant to be funny), but most of the time it feels that there really isn't much of a script, with lots of meandering around and too much reliance on ad libbing. For such a short runtime, there are times where nothing is happening, and it slogs through a seemingly endless amount of padding to get the film just over an hour an a half (Every few scenes, the movie stops to show characters dancing or mingling around the party like if there were commercial breaks intended for those moments). The movie also can't seem to figure out what kind of comedy it wants to be, ranging from cartoonishly goofy, comedic with a little drama mixed in, somewhat raunchy, and at times, jarringly surreal. 

The best part of the movie easily would be Malin Åkerman and Kat Dennings, especially when they're together. They have good chemistry together, get the funniest lines, and most importantly, unlike most of the cast, at least feel like real people. A lot of the others aren't very interesting or just plain aren't very likable, relying on running jokes that don't amount to anything or having one joke being their only character type. Aisha Tyler and Dean Cole have their moments (Sadly, they get sidelines for a lot of the movie), Chelsea Peretti shows up just to say and do weird things, and Jane Seymour appears to have made a second career out of appearing in bad movies (Ryan Hansen has too, come to think of it). There are also appearances from Wanda Sykes, Fortune Feimster, and Margaret Cho (Who appear as "Fairy Gay Godmothers" to Abby during a hallucinatory, Shroom fueled trip), that got a chuckle out of me just because of how random it is. 

A movie like "Friendsgiving" would have at least been a little more fun in a crowded theater, full of drunk women during a Girl's Night Out. However, without the novelty of cackling and hollering women, it's just really boring. It's a movie that feels like someone removed the laugh track (Which would have helped me at least know what was meant to be funny), and serves only as a time waster in more ways than one. I had to review something this weekend, and this was all I could find on such short notice. Hopefully my actual Thanksgiving will be more enjoyable....Although considering the upcoming election, maybe more social distancing wouldn't be a bad idea. 1 1/2 Stars. Rated R For Language, Dirty Sexy Talk, And For Lesbian Terminology. 

The Witches                                                                                                       ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: I got ninety-nine problems but a Witch ain't one.

Not gonna lie. The 1990 movie, "The Witches". I don't remember any of it. Sure it's something that was well received at the time despite poor box office returns, and has since developed such a strong cult following, especially with my generation, due to how surprisingly frightening it is (Look at those screenshots of the practical effects from that movie. They're still quite amazing.). It struck a cord with people, and while I can see why, it just never stuck with me in the slightest. The only things I remember about it have to do with people on the internet reminding me about it. The positive of this being that despite the quiet, yet still vocal amount of excitement about this HBO Max released remake, I am basically going into the film basically with little attachments. So....Was the original this bizarre? Because even I was shocked by the utter weirdness of this movie.  

Based on the book by Roald Dahl and a remake of the 1990 film directed by Nicolas Roeg, "The Witches", follows our lead protagonist, credited only as "Hero Boy" (Played by Jahzir Kadeem Bruno as a kid, and voiced by Chris Rock when narrating the film as an adult), who moves in with his grandmother (Octavia Spencer) after the death of his parents. Hero's grandma, who is a healer of sorts and the sweetest woman you'll ever meet, gifts Hero is a pet mouse named "Daisy" and helps Hero find happiness despite being orphaned. After Hero encounters a scary woman trying to sell him candy, Grandma explains that he just met a witch, saying that they live all across the world, targeting kids to turn into animals simply because they are nothing but embodiments of pure evil. Grandma, who is paranoid due to having an encounter with one as a child, takes Hero to a hotel, managed by "Mr. Stringer" (Stanley Tucci) to hide out. However, while Hero wanders the hotel, he realizes that an entire coven of witches, along with their leader, "The Grand High Witch" (Anne Hathaway), are gathering at the hotel to enact a dastardly plot to end all children around the world by turning all of them into mice. When Hero eventually finds himself mouse-ified, he'll have to team up with his grandma to find a way to become human again and stop the evil witches before they enact their plan. 

Directed by Robert Zemeckis ("Back to the Future", "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", "Forrest Gump", "Romancing the Stone", "Cast Away") with a screenplay also written by Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, and Guillermo del Toro,  "The Witches" is the kind of breezy, somewhat twisted, family adventure that I could have really gotten into more if only it figured out what it really wanted to be. It's all kinds of weird (And I only scratched the surface of it all during my plot summary), with some pretty haunting images, intentionally preposterous plot points, and a quirky sense of wickedness, which strangely appears to want to have a bit of an edge to it, though not too much at the same time. There are some freaky imagery, but the very lackluster (And overtly cartoonish) CGI take away most of that edge, giving the film a cheaper feel than most likely intended. Now it's not to say that the film isn't without some spooky moments (The Grand High Witch becoming more monstrous, revealing her claws, and a giant, shark like mouth, certainly looks a bit on the frightening side), but it's all quite tame. Granted, maybe that's all that families could ask for. Where the movie falters when it comes to identity and commitment, it makes up for in some genuine charm, a sweet story underneath all of the macabre, and enough ghoulish material to give the kids enough of a scare, while also not going anywhere too far so that the parents wouldn't need to feel the need to intervene. 

Anne Hathaway, complete with the over the top look and silly accent (Still pretty attractive if you ask me.....), rips into the scenery without mercy, and is all the more enjoyable because of it. She makes for a despicable, often hilarious, and even a bit chilling villainess, and feels right at home within the twisted fairy tale-esque setting. Octavia Spencer is quite wonderful as well, bringing a lot of her usual warmth, and even getting a chance to take part in the craziness without feeling underused. Jahzir Kadeem Bruno, while not exactly a young actor with much range yet, can carry the film, while we get some solid supporting work from Codie-Lei Eastick (as "Bruno", an always hungry boy, who ends up turned into a mouse like Hero), Kristin Chenoweth (In a surprise voice role), and Stanley Tucci, who just plain looks like he's here to have a good time. (Oddly, he contributes very little, yet he nonetheless hi-jacks every scene he's in) Chris Rock, only appearing in a voice performance, is an inspired choice for providing narration. 

Despite an identity crisis and maybe a little too much weirdness for its own good (Even for Roald Dahl it's a bit much), "The Witches" is a fun, heartfelt family feature that could make for a solid treat for the kids this Halloween. I can't really say that you wouldn't be able to do better (Or that the original might surpass it, despite myself remembering nothing about it), though for what it is, it does it job well enough with enough unpredictability and an unrelentingly bonkers attitude. 2 1/2 Stars. Rated PG For Scary Images, Mice Problems, And The Abuse Of Good Witches.  

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan                                                                                                                   ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: Let's all make sexy time!

When 2020 needed a hero, one mustached man answered the call. Someone to free us from this evil year's continued sense of monotonousness and unforgiving turmoil. Someone shine a ray of light, return hope to the world, and most importantly, find a way to just get us to freakin laugh at all. No matter how uncomfortable it gets. And trust me, the cringe is only what makes it better.  

Following the events of 2006's acclaimed "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", the sequel, which is titled, "Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", shows the now disgraced Kazakhstan reporter, "Borat Margaret Saggiyev" (Sacha Baron Cohen), as he is now given a chance to win back his country's favor, due to his previous documentary resulting in Kazakhstan becoming a laughing stock to the rest of the world. Borat's mission is deliver the Kazakhstan Minister of Culture (And known porn star), "Johnny the Monkey" (A literal monkey) to American President, "McDonald Trump" (Translation: Donald Trump), but due to an um, previous incident at Trump Tower, Borat has to instead bring the monkey to a man with such incredible sexual magnitude that he just can't dine alone with another woman, "Mike Pence". Having lost everything, with the exception of a fifteen year old daughter, "Tutar" (Maria Bakalova, who is actually twenty four in real life), Borat travels to America once again, though discovers that since everyone here knows who he is now, Borat is going to have to do this undercover. 

When going to pick up Johnny the Monkey, who seemingly traveled to America via shipping crate, Borat is shocked to see that Tutar has stowed away within the crate (And has also eaten poor Johnny....). Borat, now under the threat of execution by his home country unless he wins Pence's favor, comes up with a new plan to give Tutar to Pence as a gift. It goes about as well as you would expect, so Borat settles for the next best thing, gifting Tutar to America's mayor (Not anymore after this....), "Rudy Giuliani". The father and daughter proceed to travel across the country, finding themselves in all sorts of crazy situations, confusing (And disturbing) those around them, and learn more about America's weird ways than ever before, all being done so while a major worldwide pandemic also happens to be going on (Ya know, Coronavirus? You heard of it? It's still going on! We've not "Turned the F*cking corner", a**hole!)).   

Boy, a lot of changed over the course of fourteen years. Also, very little has changed in the absolute worst of ways. Released through streaming via "Amazon Prime", "Borat Subsequent Moviefilm" (Not going to type the full title more than necessary. I want to get as many words as possible into these things, but that would just be plain silly), once again offers that biting, completely unhinged, and merciless satirical commentary that doesn't so much refuse to pull punches. It more along the lines keeps repeatedly punching until you just can't help but laugh through the pain, and laughing through the pain is exactly what one will do throughout this movie. The original mockumentary showed us some of the occasional worst our country had to offer, portraying bigotry from different angles (Racism, sexism, anti-semitism, homophobia, etc.) Directed by comedy writer, Jason Woliner, the film wisely decides not to just do the same exact thing as the first film (It's physically impossible to do so, and too many, including Sacha Baron Cohen himself have tried and failed), but instead escalate things further. This means, more offensive humor, more in your face displays of the unsightly and repulsive, and the need to do anything and everything to get a laugh, while also being really smart about it. Underneath the gross out humor, is an incredible and oddly careful amount of attention to every tiny detail that brings the movie together, which is even more jarring considering how the movie was made without any of our knowledge. (So remember that guy in the Trump fat suit that crashed the Mike Pence's CPAC speech? Or the guy who got a bunch of people at a right-wing rally to sing about injecting Barack Obama with the "Wuhan Flu"? That was all for this movie!) 

What can one say about Sacha Baron Cohen? He is something else. Brilliant, fearless, out of his damn mind, and most likely on the verge of getting himself killed one of these days, but damn it, he really is the current generation's Peter Sellers (I know I can't be the only one thinking that). Aside from his pure, unbridled sense of giddiness to resurrect such a renowned character and inject him into current events, Cohen shows levels of commitment that I once thought were unheard of among even the best actors. He finds the humanity to what would be a somewhat detestable character, making him cringe-inducing, original, and even a little lovable. However, he's not just the focus this time. Maria Bakalova is a star in the making, going even further than Cohen has in terms of crossing the line, and yet, making for plenty of laugh out loud moments. Together, the duo is a comedic force to be reckoned with. As for the people caught in the crossfire of the documentary style, such as trying to get a baby figurine removed from Tutar's stomach at an anti-abortion clinic, Tutar learning about feminism from a babysitter (Who apparently wanted to "Kick Sacha Baron Cohen's Butt", in her own words), and Borat befriending (And temporarily living with) two right wing conspiracy theorists. Even when some of these pranks might be staged (Though it is so hard to tell, and you'd be surprised what people will say and do when their guard is down), they still generate laughs, as well as some much needed insight into the minds of people today. The best though are the ones that are obviously not staged, and the most damning. The biggest out of all of them being the now infamous sequence involving Rudy Giuliani (as he's interviewed by a dressed up Tutar), and while there are those looking to sympathize with him (Okay sure, maybe, just maybe, he really was just tucking in his shirt....the entire situation escalated as much as it did because of his own stupidity), it's still an uncomfortable, creepy, and eventually, hilarious scene that's not going to be going away anytime soon. Plus in the interview, Giuliani states that the Chinese manufactured the virus and intentionally let it get out. So you know, screw him anyway. 

Offensive in all the right ways, occasionally painful to watch, but by the end, with much more to say than even the first film, "Borat Subsequent Moviefilm" is hilarious from start to finish, and boy does it finish on a high note. It culminates in probably one of the best plot twists I've seen in a movie in a long time, and only makes one go in for a second viewing simply to see how it all came together so beautifully. All of this may seem somewhat juvenile and mean spirited (And well, it kind of is), but of course there is a point to it that needs to be listened to. Even then, I would say that this one may be a little more accessible than the first film, since despite the harsh jokes and repeated jabs at the unsuspecting, there is something a bit warmer about the film. A hidden sweetness, whether it be the heartwarming and evolving relationship between father and daughter, or the surprise kindness that can be found even in today's world. (Believe it or not, once you get past the racism, Borat does encounter a decent amount of at least halfway amiable people) The film proves that even when a true life virus continues to threaten our way of life, laughter truly is the best medicine. New Borat Movie Very Nice! 4 Stars. Rated R For Lots Of Human Hair, Racist Beliefs, Monkey Business, Rudy's Hands (Ew...), Sexy Time, KKK Cosplay, A Lack Of Face Masks, And Those Who Kind Of Have It Coming Being Caught With Their Pants Down. Almost Literally. 

The Trial of the Chicago 7                                                                            ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: I think I missed this one in the history books.

If there was a movie this year that I really wish I had been able to see in a packed auditorium, with an amped up audience, which I know damn well would have erupted in a grand applause once we reach the film's closing, very inspiring moment of poignancy. Sure, it could be somewhat cheesy, but it's what the audience wants during these troubled times. To see humanity triumph over injustice, political negligence, and those who would abuse what power they hold, I can't think of anything more necessary throughout 2020. Maybe it's all the discourse, the neverending pandemic, the lack of enjoyment to be had in the world, or the upcoming election, which is either going to end with something mostly generic, though much needingly safe, or something, well, absolutely mindbogglingly insane. Whatever it is, the sentimentality works. I really missed this feeling. 

Based on the true story "The Trial of the Chicago 7", the film follows the "Chicago Seven", made up of "Abbie Hoffman" (Sacha Baron Cohen), "Tom Hayden" (Eddie Redmayne), "Jerry Rubin" (Jeremy Strong), "David Dellinger" (John Carroll Lynch), "Rennie Davis" (Alex Sharp), "John Froines" (Daniel Flaherty), and "Lee Weiner" (Noah Robbins), as they stand trial (Which is basically just a glorified intimidation tactic) for presumed conspiracy and for initiating a riot, based around anti-Vietnam War sentiment, in Chicago, Illinois, which culminated in an incident at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Represented by their lawyers, "William Kunstler" (Mark Rylance) and "Leonard Weinglass" (Ben Shenkman), the seven are also, quite confusingly, joined by the co-founder of the Black Panther Party, "Barry Seale" (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), who is also on trial for a murder charge, though doesn't have a lawyer to represent him and really has nothing to do with anything actually going on. (He's essentially there because of good ol fashioned racism. Luckily, that kind of racial unfairness just up and went away one day. So some say.) With a crotchety old loon, "Julius Hoffman" (Frank Langella), residing as Judge, and with tough prosecutors, "Richard Schultz" (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and "Tom Foran" (J. C. MacKenzie), the Chicago Seven find themselves in a tough situation, with the chances of walking free seeming unlikely. 

Written and directed by Aaron Sorkin (Who wrote the screenplays for "Charlie Wilson's War", "The Social Network", "Moneyball", and "Steve Jobs", while also directing "Molly's Game"), "The Trial of the Chicago 7" is another Oscar contender (Though us having an upcoming Oscars ceremony seems very unlikely at the moment) from Netflix, which has come out at the right time when many of us needed something just like this. A film that's armed with words in both a metaphorical and literal sense, the film is carefully and professionally handled by Sorkin's direction and only enhanced by his unparalleled writing (The man's eyes for dialogue is legendary). Even when things get more politically complicated than what the average filmgoer may be used to, you're sucked in pretty quickly by the smart back and forth, which can range from occasionally humorous, intellectually profound, or just plain fascinating to listen to. His direction is also very tightly packed, with the over two hour runtime feeling well earned and never dull. Also give credit to both the cinematographer, Phedon Papamichael ("Nebraska", "Ford V Ferrari") and editor, Alan Baumgarten ("American Hustle", "Molly's Game"), also add to the film's somewhat speedy, yet intuitive, experience. 

The amazing ensemble cast, who all deliver their mile a minute dialogue with scenery chewing glee, is made up of important moments all over whether or not they're a major character or not. Essentially our main characters would be Eddie Redmayne (Doing a startling American accent), a spectacular Sacha Baron Cohen (If there ends up being an Oscar ceremony next year, I can see a possible nomination), and the always very welcome Mark Rylance, who carry most of the film, though don't divert too much attention from others who give standout performances. The cast includes Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Who it's nice to see in more movies lately), an enjoyably loathsome Frank Langella, a brief (But still fantastic) appearance from Michael Keaton (as "Ramsey Clark", the former attorney general, who becomes an important part of the trial), Alex Sharp, an unrecognizable Jeremy Strong, Ben Shenkman, Kelvin Harrison Jr. (as "Fred Hampton", who joins Bobby Seale in court, and later meets an unnecessary fate at the hands of those who are meant to protect and serve), and an outstanding Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. There are some other semi-recognizable faces (Or new ones), who certainly make the most of their short appearances. Something I really love about the movie is how everyone feels very much alive and human, which plays into a central theme of the film and how we can't forget the lives lost while we waste our time on unimportant crap (Cultural bigotry, silencing unique and controversial voices, attempting to save face by toying with people's lives, downplaying the threat of a widespread virus, etc.). People were dying in a war over the course of the events of this movie, and yet, too many people in power didn't really seem to care as much as they said they did. 

While the moment in time of the movie's setting may have passed, the topical themes of "The Trial of the Chicago 7" are more than just significant, it's straight up the same exact thing we've seen countless times since. It's one thing to say it's relevant to today's times, but it's also something that will always be poignant, especially when people continuously refuse to learn from past mistakes. People will utulize their legal right to protest for what they believe in. Those who have historically been wronged in the past will continue to face further discourse that some would rather just pretend went away a long ago. We will continue to have these repeated conversations for years to come, and trust me, no election is going to fix that. (It might make it a little better....or worse. But we'll have to wait and see.) Regardless of how much of it we as a species end up taking it to heart, there is something quite timeless about the film. Helped by Sorkin's compelling direction, a terrific screenplay balancing comical satire with relevance, unforgettable performances, and images of cultural significance that might even get someone who hasn't thought enough about to at least reconsider some past decisions. I've become more cynical as of late than ever, and yet, a true, unapologetic, maybe a little corny, but much necessary crowdpleaser like this gives me at least the impression that hope and the goodness of humanity will win out in the end. 4 Stars. Rated R For Language, Grouchy Old White Dudes, Hippie Horseplay, And Levels Of Bigotry, Which Until First Acknowledged, Will Only Continue To Exist.   

The War with Grandpa                                                                                         ★ ½ out of ★★★★

Ava                                                                                                                            ★ ½ out of ★★★★

Enola Holmes                                                                                                ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Sherlock Holmes' sister? Well, I guess "Stranger Things" have happened

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Theaters are showing nothing once more, due to almost every major release getting delayed to either next year or to an unspecified date. It's like 2020 can't let us have anything fun, can it? What would normally be something completely depressing to me, Netflix provided some slight hope that while we won't be seeing any traditional big theatrical releases anytime soon, it's not completely impossible to find that level of filmmaking quality elsewhere. 

Based on the book series by Nancy Springer, "Enola Holmes" follows the titular "Enola Holmes" (Millie Bobbie Brown), the unknown and never talked about younger sister of renowned detective, "Sherlock Holmes" (Henry Cavill), and his less renowned brother, "Mycroft" (Sam Claflin). Unlike her brothers, Enola (Whose named spelled backwards is "Alone"), has been living with her mother, "Eudoria" (Helena Bonham Carter), showing signs of intellectual brilliance like her brother. Trained in defensive arts, along with her traditional teachings, Eudoria is Enola's closest relationship, and is left devastated when Eudoria mysteriously vanishes without a trace. This prompts Sherlock and Mycroft to return home, never having spoken to Enola since their father's death, knowing (Or caring) little about her. While acting as Enola's legal guardian, Mycroft intends to have her enrolled in a finishing school run by the strict, "Miss Harrison" (Fiona Shaw) to be what is considered a proper lady. Enola then decides to run away and sets out to find her missing mother. 

While off on her adventure, Enola meets a young lord, "Viscount Tewkesburry" (Louis Partridge), who is also on the run from his family. However, it turns out that Tewkesburry is being pursued by a homicidal man in a brown bowler hat (Burn Gorman), diverting Enola's attention away from her search for her mother. Now caught in the middle of the situation, it's up to Enola to solve a case involving Twkesburry, whoever is trying to kill him, her own mother's possible involvement, and an important Reform Bill that could change the way of the country, which is something some people don't want to happen. While doing so, Enola begins to discover her purpose in the world, becoming her own woman in the process and proving her worth to not only her brothers, but also herself. 

Directed Harry Bradbeer ("Killing Eve", "Fleadbag"), with this serving as his first full length film, "Enola Holmes" is an idea that could derail so easily in the wrong hands. Even when telling people about it, it can sound somewhat silly or forced, feeling more like someone's weird fan fiction than an actual movie or book series. Luckily the film not only has its own unique voice, it's also got so much charm to spare, that I can't logically see anybody in their right mind not at least smiling once throughout the film. With a smart screenplay by Jack Thorne, the film feels like it could coexist within the classic "Sherlock Holmes" stories that many of us grew up with or at least have had ingrained in our minds over time (He's too iconic a character not to have), which has a quirky sense of humor to go along with the clear sense of dark subtexts and a sense of relevance that's intentionally never fully explained, though it's easy to figure out what it's meant to symbolize. 

The one who carries the entire film with her irresistible charisma is Millie Bobbie Brown, who once again goes out of her way to prove to the world how she could possibly be the best young actress out there. It's especially prevalent when her character stops the film to address the audience (An gimmick that would be annoying if it wasn't for how likable the character is), whether it be to explain exposition in a humorous fashion or even have it used to provide a sense of pathos to the character (She spends most of the film by herself, with the audience seemingly being the only person to vent her personal thoughts and feeling to). This is her movie through and through, though luckily, other well cast players have their moments as well. Such as a rather inspired Henry Cavill and a perfectly smarmy Sam Claflin. Millie Bobbie Brown also has some excellent chemistry with fairly newcomer, Louis Partridge in a cute relationship that doesn't feel forced. There are good small parts for recognizable faces, such as a snooty Fiona Shaw, Susie Wokoma (as "Edith", a martial arts trainer to Enola, who gets one of the film's most memorable and socially poignant moments), Adeel Akhtar (as "Inspector Lestrade", Sherlock's ally and biggest fan), a creepy Burn Gorman (Who brings a shocking level of violence and danger to what appears to be a family movie), and Frances de la Tour (as Tewkesburry's wealthy grandmother). Helena Bonham Carter only appears sparingly, but leaves quite an impact, making for some of the film's sweetest moments. 

"Enoa Holmes" utulizes its wonderful lead, aesthetically pleasing direction, and a keen eye for the time period to make up for what's a fairly standard and pretty simple mystery, that does the job enough, though really isn't too shocking when you think about it (I pieced it together just moments before the big reveal). Then again, that's not the main point of the film. Empowering to girls of any age, retaining a timeless feel, and gives us some of that old school sleuthing that's been missing from modern movies. It also feels like something that wouldn't have been out of place serving as a last minute summer blockbuster. Big screen fun is alive and well, and for the time being, it's not impossible to get that level of enjoyment at home. 3 1/2  Stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Content And For Moments Of Surprise Violence. 

Antebellum                                                                                                              ★★ out of ★★★★

Image: At least she's not forced to wear a mask. Yep, that's just as bad. 

When a film shows a lot of promise, has clear greatness within itself, but seemingly either doesn't quite have the capabilities to follow or even worse, intentionally chooses not to in favor of going for what's easy, makes for an emotionally exhausting experience. However, it ends up being for the exact opposite reasons than intended. 

So to get the point across, but to also be as vague as possible, "Antebellum" follows two stories, set in different moments in time. First, we follow a African American slave, "Eden" (Janelle Monáe), as she's trapped on a especially brutal and inhuman plantation in the Antebellum South. Eden is looked to for guidance by the other slaves for reasons yet to be known, with everyone looking for a path to freedom, despite the impossible odds. Cut to the present day, we then follow an accomplish African American journalist, "Veronica Henley" (Also played by Janelle Monáe), attempting to change the still unfair racial divide, while raising her daughter, "Kennedi" (London Boyce), with her loving husband, "Nick" (Marque Richardson). While out with her friends, "Dawn" (Gabourey Sidibe) and "Sarah" (Lily Cowles), Veronica starts to notice something off about the random people she's coming across and dealing with, before having her own nightmarish experience. 

Written and directed by first timers, Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz, "Antebellum" is the kind of movie that shows us moments of captivating brilliance and originality, and yet, completely collapses on itself in a fiery explosion once everything is said and done. It's quite tragic because the concept the film appears based on is something to be admired. Turning the real life unjust horrors of slavery into a literal horror movie is not only fitting, but creates a realistic sense of terror that people in the past experienced, with the side effects still being felt today regardless of how many people attempt to ignore it. Sadly, it's a little difficult to figure out what the Hell the movie really wants, with the first act being completely different in tone from the second act. I get that the setting change is meant to be more than just simple symbolism. However, the meshing of the two time periods don't remotely compliment each other like they should, especially when the first act is much stronger. That's not to say it's great (The movie isn't exactly original when it comes to the typical tropes you'd see in a story based around slavery), but there is a sense of suspense and dread, and not to mention, harsh honesty when displaying the evil that humans are capable of. The next act of the film just sort of meanders around, messing with the paces, and resulting in a lot of moments that really don't make any sense. (What was the point of the little ghost looking girl?)

While the movie eventually fails itself, the most consistent aspect out of everything is Janelle Monáe, who is magnificent in every possible way. The tones might not successfully, but she remains a force to be reckoned with regardless. Compelling, lovely, and graceful, Janelle Monáe proves once again, to those who are yet to realize it, that she's an incredible actress just waiting for the perfect role. Eric Lange (Simply credited as "Him", the man in the plantation whose claimed Eden as his own) and Jack Huston (as "Captain Jasper", a sadistic slaver), make for truly despicable monsters in human flesh, while Jena Malone (Whose appearance alone kind of spoils the big reveal), doesn't get near enough screentime to resonate as the big bad. Kiersey Clemons (as "Julia", a fellow slave with Eden) is underutilized and Gabourey Sidibe makes for unnecessary comic relief, while Tongayi Chirisa (as "Eli", another slave who works with Eden to escape) conveys a lot of emotion with simple expressions. 

While it's gorgeously and hauntingly filmed (If the movie was better I would have recommended an Oscar nomination for Best Cinematography), "Antebellum" most falters in the final act, which culminates in a really obvious twist you can see coming a mile away, and just throws in everything it can to reach an ending that feels cobbled together. All of this doesn't remotely gel in a movie that's barely an hour and forty minutes (And that's with the credits), and when something that could have been both inspired and culturally significant decides to take the easy way out, it takes a lot out of you.  One should have been left disturbed and contemplative. Not just left with a headache brought on by torturous fatigue. It's not the worst movie of 2020, but it's easily the most disappointing. 2 Stars Rated R For Excessive Human Suffering And Evil Southerners.  

The Broken Hearts Gallery                                                                              ★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: Even Antifa protesters need to relax and unwind.

So much as been so crazy the past few weeks, I haven't taken the time to acknowledge the fact that my site got a complete revamp. It was also against my will, too. Didn't have any say in it, and my web provider told me to upgrade since nothing was working at all for almost a week. Now we're much shinier, and while it will take some getting used to, we can look forward to another ten years of this, though hopefully I finally start getting paid to do this by then. I think I'm ready for the big time. The show. The big leagues.

"The Broken Hearts Gallery" follows aspiring art gallery assistant "Lucy" (Geraldine Viswanathan), who is known for not taking her breakups very well, keeping a collection of mostly useless items from previous relationships for somewhat obsessive sentimental value. Lucy ends up being dumped by her boyfriend, "Max" (Utkarsh Ambudkar). After forcing a stranger that she mistook for her Uber driver, "Nick" (Dacre Montgomery), to drive her home, Lucy finds herself a new friend. Lucy, with help from Nick, who owns an under construction hotel, creates an open gallery of the items from her old relationships, calling it "The Broken Hearts Gallery", encouraging others to bring stuff from failed relationships to be a part of it. The idea becomes quickly popular, with Lucy and Nick working together to get the gallery off the ground, while of course, in true Rom-Com fashion, grow closer along the way.  

Directed by first timer, Natalie Krinsky (Who also wrote the screenplay), "The Broken Hearts Gallery" isn't the kind of movie that you see warranting a major release theatrically at this moment, though on the bright side despite the film's need for genre obligations, there are moments of something fairly special here. The film is unexpectedly well written, with smart humor and even some deeper, insightful things to say as well. It's also directed in a fairly speedy, quirky fashion, which gives the film its own personality to differentiate itself from others like it. The charm of the movie overcomes rather predictable and generic plot elements that the genre can't seem to get away from no matter how good the movie is or how unique it tries to be. If done right, it can be fine and make for a solid crowdpleaser, but regardless, it leaves slight (Very slight) sense of disappointment when you can tell that there was something even greater in there. 

Geraldine Viswanathan ("Blockers"), shows off her comedic range, proving to be an instant star. She and Dacre Montgomery (Who always plays a completely different character in everything I've seen him in), have some wonderful chemistry, with a great mix of both humor and sentimental. The movie makes time for some memorable side characters, such as Arturo Castro (as "Marcus", Nick's quippy friend), along with the funniest material coming from Molly Gordon and Phillipa Soo (as "Amanda" and "Nadine",  Lucy's roommates and best friends, who take bets on Lucy's relationships) . There's also an hilarious running joke involving Nathan Dales (as "Jeff", Amanda's longtime boyfriend who never seems to speak, and yet, somehow participates in many conversations). Utkarsh Ambudkar gets a little more depth than your typical antagonist (By the end, he really isn't one), and Bernadette Peters (as "Eva Woolf", Lucy's boss and idol) just shows up to say weird things. 

"The Broken Hearts Gallery" goes through the Rom-Com playbook, complete with a last act twist to force a little conflict. It's unnecessary, but what you expect. Luckily, the humor is consistent, the characters are endearing, and the sweet message rings true, especially for those who might need a bit of a pick me up for these troubled times. It's just that there was potential to be something grander. The movie has something to say, whether it be about what relationships can mean to people, how we interpret them, and how they will continue to affect us after they've ended, sometimes without us even knowing it at first. Then again, the filmmakers know to give the audience what they want. Can't fault anyone for that. 3 Stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Content, Language, And Questionable Artistic Interpretation.   

Mulan                                                                                                                   ★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: "Call it Kung Flu one more time, I dare you!"

Disney has really struck a nerve this time, haven't they? And to a degree, it's hard not to see why. Remaking yet another very recent (And very beloved) animated classic, this time being 1998's "Mulan". However, unlike some of the more recent live-action remakes ("Aladdin", "The Lion King", etc.), this one had the intention of not just making the same movie, but to tell a more mature, completely different story. Sadly, there has been some controversy, such as more than problematic comments made about the recent Hong Kong protests from the main star, even more problematic filming locations, and of course, the fact that instead of a theatrical release, the film is being distributed through "Disney+" for $30 before being made free at the end of the year (Granted, think of the alternative? It's safer than going to a theater and if you have a family, it's essentially the same price). Those aside, I've noticed that the movie is being declared to be the worst remake yet, the worst movie to come out of Disney in years (Um, did we forget "Artemis Fowl" already?), and to be one of the worst things to come out of this year. To add more fuel to the fire......I don't see what the big deal is. In fact, I thought it was, well, pretty solid actually. Aaaand you just clicked off my site, didn't you? 

More of a uniting of various versions of the Chinese legend ("The Ballad of Mulan") this new "Mulan", follows the titular "Hua Mulan" (Yifei Liu), a courageous young woman in rural China, who shows signs of adventurous and heroic potential (Also due to how uniquely powerful her Chi appears to be). However, the times do not allow for such things, as a woman is mostly just there to be made a wife, while the men partake in battle. The "Emperor of China" (Jet Li), is alerted that Rouran warriors, led by the vengeful "Bori Khan" (Jason Scott Lee) and his shapeshifting witch ally, "Xian Lang" (Gong Li), have declared war on China, causing the Emperor to make a decree for one man from each family to participate in the coming war. However, while Mulan's father, "Hua Zhou" (Tzi Ma), wishes to fight (Due to not having any sons), Mulan knows he's too frail to do so. 

Fearing for her father's safety, Mulan takes it upon herself, stealing her father's armor and sword before leaving to join the Imperial army disguised as a man, named "Hua Jun", with the family's guardian (A mystical Phoenix that only she can apparently see) to watch over her. Immediately, Mulan finds herself out of place, training under "Commander Tung" (Donnie Yen) to get down to business and make a man out of her, while knowing that the consequences will mean execution if she is discovered. With Khan's army nearing closer and closer, Mulan must prove her worth to not only her fellow soldiers, but also herself, becoming one of China's greatest legends in the process. 

Directed by Niki Caro ("The Zookeeper's Wife", "McFarland, USA"), "Mulan" is an adaptation of the original animated film in name only, with aside from the occasional similar story beat, along some dialogue and music references, it's very committed to being its own fantasy, war drama. There are no songs, very little comedy, and most noticeably, no "Mushu" (The Phoenix kind of fills in his role, which even then is very limited). Judging the film on its own merits, I found a lot to like about it, though there are a few rather glaring flaws. On the positive side, Caro's direction is gorgeously shot, with incredible cinematography, beautifully crafted fight sequences, and a stunning amount of attention to the littlest of details. The stylistic editing choices, while at times a bit offputting, do lead to a handful of well choreographed moments. (On a side note, the whole Chi aspect, which basically turns people into Jedi, is questionable from a cultural perspective, but still cool to watch) I do also appreciate how much the movie commits to the more mature rating, with the body count being actually onscreen this time, with characters being stabbed left and right. (Seeing a character literally die in front of us is kind of unique for a straightforward Disney movie) The movie is a visual feast for sure, and yet, while it can't reach the heights of the original (Which is one of the top five best Disney movies), there is still an empowering, thoughtful story of courage and heroism against injustice from both evil and even those around you. 

Looking past the admittedly questionable to say the least comments (For a company known for silencing people or keeping a ludicrous amount of restraint on what actors say, surprised they let that one slip by), Yifei Liu is still quite a capable and engrossing lead, who pulls off the character's much cherished arc with grace, beauty, and determination. Donnie Yen is his usual electric self, while Tzi Ma is rather wonderful in a slightly more expanded role. Jason Scott Lee is intimidating, though doesn't have the terror the original villain had, while Gong Li makes for a worthy change in the story, becoming the most fascinating of the two villains having a few well done scenes with Liu. Jimmy Wong, Chen Tang, and Doua Mousa (as "Ling", "Yao", and "Chien-Po", fellow soldiers in the army) provide some humor, while Yoson An (as "Chen Honghui", a solider who Mulan forms a connection with), does a fine enough job, but I'm not sure how much I buy the romantic aspect of the relationship. (To be honest, Yifei Liu has more chemistry with Gong Li than him. Take that any way you wish to internet!) Also, just the presence of Jet Li alone is too awesome to not enjoy. (He, while completely stone faced, catches an arrow with his hand. So silly, yet so freakin badass!) There's also a cameo towards the end that I'll admit, kind of got to me in an emotional way.  

To be honest, I was a bit confused to the outrage surrounding "Mulan", considering our biggest complaints with these remakes have been how unoriginal and almost shot for shot similar they've been to the originals, without adding much to better liven up the experience. Overall, they've been fine, though mostly pointless. This one on the other hand, barely resembles the original. In a way, maybe that's the problem. The original didn't need improvement, and while the film is vastly different, it still lacks a certain charm that the original had. This remake is pleasing to the eye, makes for one of the better ones, and is plenty likable, but in the end, really isn't all that memorable (However, with the pandemic STILL going on, your family could do so much worse). It boasts plenty of great qualities and inspiration (And certainly doesn't deserve the hate), though doesn't really stand out from Disney's best, animated or not. I get the idea that for these to work better, we need to remake something that actually could use a possible revamp (It's why "Cinderella", "The Jungle Book", and "Pete's Dragon" all worked so well). Even though they seemingly have the right idea to no longer just do the same thing, to make these remakes work, since there's likely going to be many more of them, they should instead focus on something that actually needs it. 3 Stars. Rated PG-13 For War Violence, Impalements, And Mulan's Nude Silhouette. Kind Of Surprised Disney Left That In There. 

Tenet                                                                                                                ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "But Christopher Nolan....I STILL don't understand ANY of this!".

Cinema is officially back, people! Our filmmaking lord and savior, Christopher Nolan (“Inception”, “Dunkirk”, The “Dark Knight” Trilogy), has returned with the first big movie in months, and one meant to be seen on the biggest screen imaginable. Now sure, we may still be doomed to endure this never ending pandemic, our leaders don’t seem to have a good idea how to stop it (Remember when it was apparently a hoax? So much has happened I feel like people forgot about that!), and if this movie doesn’t turn a profit, we most likely will have to go back to the way things were up until a couple weeks ago. However, so long as you wear your mask (It’s seriously not that hard), keep your distance, and maybe we can finally get back to the joy that only the cinema can truly bring us.   

“Tenet” follows an unnamed CIA agent, simply known only as “The Protagonist” (John David Washington), because he's, well, the Protagonist. Our protagonist ends up captured while on a mission and after being tortured, takes a cyanide pill. He awakens and is greeted by his handler, “Victor” (Martin Donovan), revealing that the pill was fake and was part of a test , which our protagonist passes. He’s then brought into a secret organization, only being given the word “Tenet”, before joining. Now here’s where things start to get a little freaky. After getting an explanation from a scientist, “Laura” (Clémence Poésy), the protagonist learns about “Inversion” (It’s like time travel, but it looks and sounds much cooler), which allows objects or even people to move backwards through time. 

Partnered up with “Neil” (Robert Pattinson), the protagonist tracks down a Mumbai arms dealer, “Priya” (Dimple Kapadia), the one has been supplying inverted bullets to a completely unhinged Russian oligarch, “Andrei Sator” (Kenneth Branagh). Sator, who has been communicating with the future (Just go with it), and plans to use inverted weapons to cause what could be an apocalyptic event and it’s up to our protagonist to stop him. Finding a way to Sator by going through Sator’s estranged and abused wife, “Kat” (Elizabeth Debicki), the protagonist is in a literal race against time itself to locate a mysterious inverted weapon from the future and save the world. And then things get even freakier, but I’ll leave the rest for you to figure out on your own.     

Both written and directed by Christopher Nolan, “Tenet”, is the kind of big budget blockbuster deserving of the big screen treatment, and one that can only come from Nolan's very distinctive, and dangerously labyrinthine mind. It's also a damn good example of the kind of cinematic enthrallment that we've all been craving all summer. Christopher Nolan is the kind of director that you can't really tell if he's some kind of mad genius or not. Regardless if how much sense everything actually makes, it's all explained intellectually and intricately to the point where you find yourself kind of getting it. Maybe you don't fully get it all the time, or even quite comprehend the entire situation as a whole. (I totally get it if you leave confused by everything you witnessed) However, you can't deny that not only does it sound really, really smart, it's also thoroughly entertaining on both a cerebral and popcorn munching level.  

Nolan's eye for mesmerizing cinematography (Done by Oscar nominated cinematographer, Hoyte van Hoytema with glorious 70mm and IMAX film) is something that not even his biggest critics can seem to find issue with. The way his films leap off of the screen, with gripping action scenes, edited together in seamlessly sporadic and elaborate fashion. I'm also baffled by how the filmmakers were able to accomplish certain feats with as little reliance on modern computer generated special effects as possible. I can't tell anyone in good conscience to risk their health to see any movie in a theater right now, though this is one of the few that kind of needs it, at least on a technical level. It's jaw dropping stuff here, with your mind being almost unable to comprehend what you just saw. (Some of the editing choices come across as a little strange, but I think it adds to the deliberately delirious atmosphere) While Nolan's usual composing collaborator isn't here, Ludwig Göransson ("Creed", "Black Panther") takes over to create a nail biting, tension building score that blares from the speakers and shakes the entire theater.  

Bill & Ted Face the Music                                                                            ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

The Personal History of David Copperfield                                             ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: So this guy does magic tricks, right?

 The first time I ever read (Er, mostly read), "David Copperfield", I was an admittedly stupid freshmen in high school, who both couldn't follow and just plain couldn't get into the novel. Chalk it up to my youth, or my inability to appreciate influential literature, but I've never gotten around to reading it, and until now haven't had any interest in doing so. Maybe it just wasn't for me, or maybe it just took a different interpretation to make me really understand it. Or, maybe it was just a little bit boring? I can't be the only one who thinks that.

 A re-imagining of the novel by Charles Dickens, "The Personal History of David Copperfield", tells the story of "David Copperfield" (Played as a child by Jairaj Varsani, then as an adult by Dev Patel). Detailing his life from his birth to the present, we see David as he progresses from child to young man, being introduced to the many, many characters in his life, forming him into the man he will one day become. From his wicked, abusive stepfather, "Mr. Murdstone"(Darren Boy), the creditor avoiding "Mr. Micawber" (Peter Capaldi), his wealthy, though easily agitated aunt, "Betsey Trotwood" (Tilda Swinton) and her eccentric cousin, "Mr. Dick" (Hugh Laurie), David?s longtime friend, "Agnes Wickfield" (Rosalind Eleazar), his more troubling friend, "James Steerforth" (Aneurin Barnard), among others, all playing a part in David's journey to become an author and a gentleman, whether it be major or otherwise.

 Directed by Armando Iannucci ("Veep", "The Death of Stalin"), who also co-wrote the screenplay with Simon Blackwell, "The Personal History of David Copperfield" puts a more modernized (And by that, I mean, diverse), self-aware, and quirkier spin on the well known, classic story, and does so with possibly the most charm I've seen in a movie this entire year. Considering how relentlessly brutal and unforgiving 2020 has been, a little old fashioned could probably do us some good. The script quite expertly adapts the 600+ page novel, into something a bit brisker,, similar to a fairy tale-like comedy. Normally condensing something so large would make for a more frenetic, underdeveloped, and disjointed experience. However, the freneticism actually makes the story flow better, with the sense of humor keeping things moving, and the spirit of the original novel remaining perfectly intact, but providing something fresh for the new generation (And those who just didn't, you know, get it, when they were younger).

 A tremendous and award worthy Dev Patel wonderfully carries the film, with so much wit, likability, and delightfully sincerity  with his own flaws. It is a great character for sure, but Patel really conveys that with his genuine smile alone. The altogether terrific ensemble isn't without notable standouts, such as Tilda Swinton (Who we all know has a talent for scenery-chewing), an endearing Hugh Laurie, a hilariously inept Peter Capaldi, an excellent Aneurin Barnard, and a perfectly slimy Ben Whishaw (as "Uriah Heep", an antagonist to David, who is basically the human personification of a vulture). Other fantastic players include a very appealing Rosalind Eleazar, Morfydd Clark (as two characters, "Dora Spenlow", David's ditzy crush, as well as a brief appearance as David's mother, "Clara"), Benedict Wong (as "Mr. Wickfield", Agnes' always drinking father), Gwendoline Christie (as "Jane Murdstone", David's even crueler step-aunt), and Daisy May Cooper (as "Mrs. Peggotty", David's very motherly housekeeper). What's so great about the movie is that while there are loads and loads of characters (Not all of them I mentioned),is that everyone is memorable, and that's both a credit to the screenplay, the direction, and also, the source material itself.

 While being the first movie in months that I would say deserves a bigger audience (Though the unending pandemic makes that a little difficult), "The Person History of David Copperfield" is one of this year's best, and in way, most necessary movies. It's just so pleasant and fun, with a lot of that great British humor (Priding itself on how it catches you off guard), very human drama, and doing what an adaptation of a source material so ingrained in people's minds should do. Sure it reinvents itself for today's audience, but it does so while not forgetting what made the story so iconic in the first place. Even a complete moron like me who couldn't get into it before, understands what it represents to people. It's a little like last year's "Little Women" in how sometimes, a good, classic tale is just too good not to translate for future generations to come. 4 Stars. Rated PG For Some Occasional Mature Content, Though Is Still Perfect For a Family Audience.

The New Mutants                                                                                            ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Teenage Mutant Ninja Humans.

 The "X-Men" franchise just continues to get a ruthless beating long after death. After suffering a case of a franchise cut short when Disney bought out 20th Century Fox (And also allowing Marvel to get back all of their characters from the studio), the once relevant, acclaimed, and game changing X-Men series ended on the lowest of notes with last year's "Dark Phoenix". Now we have their actual final movie, that was filmed in 2017, got a surprise removal in 2018, sitting on the shelf till the beginning of 2020, with a planned real release earlier this April. Then Sh*t went down.

 Set in the X-Men Universe, "The New Mutants" takes place in a mysterious, almost completely abandoned hospital, run only by one doctor, "Dr. Cecilia Reyes" (Alice Braga). A young Native American girl, "Danielle "Dani" Moonstar" (Blu Hunt), awakens in the hospital, being the sole survivor after her reservation is destroyed by a tornado, though she suspects that something more monstrous is responsible. Dr. Reyes tells Dani that she is a new mutant and has been brought to the hospital to get treatment among other new mutants. However, Dani doesn?t know what her powers are yet. Dani meets the rest of the Mutant Breakfast Club, including an invulnerable mutant that can physically rocket himself, "Sam Guthrie" (Charlie Heaton), a friendly wolf girl, "Rahne Sinclair" (Maisie Williams), a cocky one that refuses to talk about his powers, "Roberto da Costa" (Henry Zaga), and a Russian mutant sorceress, "llyana Rasputin" (Anya Taylor-Joy), who is immediately antagonistic towards Dani. The hospital is surrounded by a powerful force field, with Dr. Reyes always keeping an eye on the teens, monitoring them for unseen superiors with possible nefarious intent. The teens all start to experience terrible nightmares, among other strange occurrences, prompting them to retaliate, fighting to survive their worst fears as they come to life around them.

 Directed and co-written by Josh Boone ("The Fault in Our Stars") and based on the characters created by Chris Claremont and Bob McLeod (Who's the film?s end credits hilariously misspell) , "The New Mutants" has been a source of mockery and disdain due to all the delays and for Disney refusing to allow press screenings with proper social distancing measures in place (Kind of a dick move). I find it unfair and think that a lot of critics have been far too harsh on the movie. It has some cool ideas, and some really good performances, but the final product appears to be missing something. It might come down to the thoroughly unoriginal execution, which makes the film very predictable, with easy to decipher mysteries (I'm sure longtime comic fans were able to deduce what was going on in the first ten minutes). The characters, while likable, feel underdeveloped, along with much of the overcooked story, which does little to explain itself thanks in part to the surprisingly short runtime under an hour and forty minutes.

 Blu Hunt makes for a compelling lead, along with an excellent Maisie Williams, with their relationship (Which takes a romantic turn), being a highlight. This is actually the biggest onscreen LGBTQ representation between main characters in a major movie franchise I can think of. (Not even the "Marvel Cinematic Universe" has had the balls to commit to this) Anya Taylor-Joy is the scene-stealer, getting the most humorous lines, and being one of the most capable characters. Charlie Heaton, though his story arc feels incomplete, is solid, along with Henry Zaga, who is by far the least interesting of the lead characters (One a side note, the character has a much darker skin color in the comics, sparking a little controversy). Alice Braga ends up being a bit of a nothing character, who feels like her storyline is cut short, turning completely villainous almost completely out of nowhere. The special effects range from aesthetically pleasing (Such as the appearance of mask wearing Slenderman monsters, called the "Smiley Men"), or seemingly unfinished (The monstrous Demon Bear, which is a story aspect that should be more interesting than it actually is).

 There is some occasional suspense, and clever concepts in "The New Mutants", and you can tell that there is something unique in there. It makes the film feel more like a disappointment than anything, coming to a rather inconclusive conclusion, that doesn't remotely feel like that?s where it was all originally meant to end. (Don't stick around. There's no post credits scene.) It's not a bad movie at all, and there are so many moments where I can see one having a good time with it. It just doesn't seem to know where its place in the bigger picture is, and could just be seen as a throwaway movie. Fitting, because in the end, Disney did kind of just throw it away. 2 ½ Stars. Rated PG-13 For Scary Images And Mutant Teen Angst. It?s Like Regular Teen Angst, But With More Explosions.

Unhinged                                                                                                                 ★★ out of ★★★★

The Tax Collector                                                                                                   ★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: Shia LaBeouf as Mexican...Or maybe Bulgarian....No No....Lithuanian?

 Movies are back apparently. Theaters are opening back up, with this movie being one of the ones to get more theatrical showings as well as Video on Demand. I have to ask, of all the movies to come out when the country needs the art of cinema, why in God's name is it this? Out of everything that could be playing up on the grand silver screen that has brought us so much joy and entertainment, we pick the most questionable film of 2020? When Shia LaBeouf is the least weird thing in your movie, something is very, very wrong!!!  

 "The Tax Collector" follows "David Cuevas" (Bobby Soto), who works alongside his longtime friend of unknown race and skintone, known only as "Creeper" (Shia LaBeouf), as tax collectors for an imprisoned crime lord, going by the name "Wizard". Despite being a ruthless, murderous, and all around violent scumbag of a human being, David is at least a loving family man to his wife, "Alexis" (Cinthya Carmona) and his two kids. Trouble arises when a rival crime lord with a big ambitions, named "Conejo" (Credited as being played by "Conejo"), shows up and declares himself top dog in the city. Conejo, who is a complete raving lunatic that likes to do ritualistic sacrifices and kill people for fun, wants David and Creeper to join up with him. However, since this is all kinds of insane, they want nothing to do with him. Conejo doesn't like that, and prepares to hunt for blood, with David desperately trying to protect his loved ones from a world that really, everyone involved should of saw coming a mile away.    

 Written and directed by David Ayer ("End of Watch", "Suicide Squad", "Sabotage", "Bright", other Gang related dude movies), "The Tax Collector" is an uncomfortable, twisted experience, whose only real level of enjoyment comes from how batsh*t crazy is. Sadly, when it isn't completely loco man, it's boring and unfocused. For a brisk ninety-five minute movie, the plot doesn't actually happen till a good chunk of a way into the story, which spends nearly the entire first act just by showing us how the main characters are going about their day, threatening people and bantering gang talk. Then when the plot does get going, there's just a lot of sitting around, chatting about stuff, before someone suddenly gets their head cut off or stomped in. For something that seems to think it has a point or purpose (And seems to think it's really clever. I mean, come on. Who didn't figure out who "Wizard" was actually meant to be?), it takes most of the runtime to actually get there, and does so in the most nihilistic and needlessly bleak way possible. Ayer's bombastic direction style feels oddly toned down for the first two thirds, though despite this, the only thing keeping you interested is how perplexing the movie is. 

 Bobby Soto, while he shows some charisma mostly in scenes he's sharing with LaBeouf, is not the most interesting of leads. He's also too despicable a character to root for, which would be fitting if only the movie seemed to realize it. (The screenplay has the bizarre idea that he's sympathetic and heroic in spite of the numerous dead bodies and ruined lives he leaves in his wake). Shia LeBeouf on the other hand, feels like an alien, disguised as a tan white guy, pretending to be a stereotypical Mexican guy, that also happens to be high off of his ass. (David Ayer claims that it's not brownface. Honestly, I believe him....which makes this character even more confusing) Cinthya Carmona is here to play the role of wife (And even she's kind of scummy too), and the appearance of an unrecognizable until he isn't George Lopez (as "Uncle Louis", a high ranking member in Wizard's group) is completely laugh free, thoroughly confusing, and oddly depressing. As for Conejo, he's just so generic as a villain, coming across as unrealistically demonic (Who would follow this guy?).

 When the violence goes down in "The Tax Collector", it's gratuitous  and exploitative, and yet, maybe it's because I've become so desensitized to it (Not saying that's a good thing), but instead of shocking, I just found it kind of funny. It's someone trying way too hard to grab you and shake you to the core. Sadly, the terrible dialogue and over the top execution appear childish. I can't really get into how baffling the film gets (There's this out of nowhere inclusion of "The Bloods" towards the climax that doesn't make any real sense), but at least when the movie gets a little weird, it's halfway fascinating to watch. Not in a good way of course. However, most of the time it's a total slog, and it makes a good argument for most movies (If they're like this) to remain specifically on streaming. It's not worth risking your health for this. 1 ½ Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Hardcore Violence, And Pavement Induced Facial Makeovers. 

Project Power                                                                                                     ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: This Hydroxychloroquine works almost as well as disinfectant!

 I'm all for new visions and fresh voices, providing a new perspective on mainstream genres, such as the superhero genre. However, I really think that "Black Widow" and "Wonder Woman 1984" are really what we need right now. You're just....not the same.  

 "Project Power" takes place in New Orleans some time in the near future, with a new, experimental pill, called "Power", becomes a hit on the streets. Power as it turns out has the ability to grant one temporary, unpredictable superpowers, though some people have been known to combust from within as well. A street-smart, aspiring rapper named "Robin" (Dominique Fishback), also works as a dealer of Power, to make money to support his sick mother, "Irene" (Andrene Ward-Hammond), Robin also has a cop friend, "Frank Shaver" (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who on occasion uses power while also looking out for Robin. After the death of her cousin, "Newt" (Colson Baker a.k.a. Machine Gun Kelly), who used Power to give himself the ability to light himself on fire, winds up dead after a confrontation with a mystery man, named "Art Reilly" (Jamie Foxx), going under the alias "The Major", Robin finds herself kidnapped by him. Art, who is on a very personal mission to hunt down the ones responsible for creating Power, brings Robin along as he attempts to put a stop to any further distribution of the drug, uncovering a big bad supervillain-esque conspiracy in the process. 

 Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman (Who both did two of the "Paranormal Activity" movies and 2016's "Nerve"), "Project Power" is yet another small scale, lower budget Netflix distributed superhero movie, and even while the bigger ones continue to be delayed as of now, movies like this really don't give us that special summer blockbuster feeling that we've all been craving. I do like the premise quite a bit and the political subtext is very much appreciated, but in a way, I'm not sure what the movie actually wants to be. Maybe it's the budget constraints keeping the film from going all out with the comic book-like elements, or it could just be obligating to the genre. It all feels out of place when it actually happens (Guys exploding at random or turning into giant CGI monsters), especially since the film keeps itself relatively grounded in reality. The world building is solid enough, and I do find myself liking a lot of the characters (And especially the actors involved). 

 Jamie Foxx is well, Jamie Foxx, kind of playing up the same persona that he's become known for, though at least has a solid rapport with Dominique Fishback. Speaking of her, she is rather phenomenal here. Fishback (Who is listed as being almost thirty), surprisingly still looks the part of a teenager, and is arguably the main character. (She is also one Hell of a rapper) It's also just great to see the typically reliable Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has oddly been in little as of late, despite generally everybody liking him as actor. (He also provides some much needed humor) Rodrigo Santoro (as "Biggie", the distributor of Power) can play a charismatic baddie, though Amy Landecker (as "Dr. Gardner", Biggies superior) just sort of fades into the background despite being the actual main antagonist. Also, what is with movies lately doing absolutely nothing with Courtney B. Vance (as "Captain Craine", Frank's boss)? 

 "Project Power" has a nice, very unique sense of style, and when focused (Not to mention, whenever it isn't trying too hard to be like every other superhero movie), there's potential for a good action/crime movie that just so happens to have some Science Fiction elements. It's fairly cool and not without a few well done action scenes (There's a sequence during a drug deal gone wrong, which is shown through a very cleverly placed camera angle). However, when the movie takes things to a discount version of a Marvel movie (In a way, it's just a lesser "Iron Man 3"), it's a bit all over the place and doesn't all come together that well. Just going off of ideas, even good ones, don't necessarily a good movie make, especially when those ideas are constantly clashing. Maybe there;s a pill for that. 2 ½ Stars. Rated R For Occasional Harsh Violence And Explosive Pill Popping.  

An American Pickle                                                                                            ★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: "And then he turned himself into a pickle! Funniest sh*t I've ever seen!"  

 With "Netflix", "Hulu", "Disney+", "HBO Max", that upcoming "Peacock" thing, (Not "DC Universe" though), it seems that streaming services appear to be benefiting from the lack of movie theaters most during this pandemic. 

 Released through HBO Max, "An American Pickle" opens in the 1920s, where an Ashkenazi Jewish man, "Herschel Greenbaum" (Seth Rogen) and his wife, "Sarah" (Sarah Snook), leaving their home for America, in hopes of finding a better, more fulfilling life. While working at a pickle factory, Herschel falls into a vat of pickles, which proceeds to brine him for a century. Having been perfectly preserved within the brine, Herschel wakes up in the present day Brooklyn. While everyone Herschel knows and loves is long gone by this point, he finds one remaining relative, a great-grandson named "Ben" (Also Seth Rogen", a computer programmer. Herschel goes to live with Ben, realizing how much the world has changed, with much of what he knew having vanished over time, while Ben himself being much further away from his old fashioned values. After an incident at a cemetery where Herschel gets into a fight with workers trying to set up a billboard over the graves of his deceased family (Which also ruins Ben's chances of developing his long delayed ethics app), the two of them go separate ways, with Herschel going off into the city to build himself a pickle empire from the ground up. When Herschel finds surprise success with his pickle business, Ben becomes even more at odds with his great-grandfather than ever before, thus commencing a clash between two completely different generations. 

 Directed by Brandon Trost (Known for collaborating with a few of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg's films) and written by Simon Rich ("Miracle Workers"), "An American Pickle" is all kinds of quirky and weird, but also the right kind that provide us with some good laughs that we desperately need right now. As far as plots go, a lot of it feels like it's on shuffle, randomly twisting and turning around to whatever feels funny at the time. Still, the film's oddly whimsical tone, which intentionally contradicts the broad sense of humor, finds that right balance, while also incorporating some relevant insight and a sweet center. It's a well directed movie, giving off the feel of a strange fairy tale in the opening before conflicting with the modernized world. There are a lot of jokes at the expense of the divide, such as how some have probably forgotten their familial beginnings, while also mocking how many, many (And I do mean, many) old fashioned beliefs do not have a place in today's society (Though some will obviously find a way to praise it). There's a part where Ben tricks Herschel, knowing exactly the kind of things he would say, should join "Twitter" and post whatever little idea comes to mind, resulting in all kinds of offensive content that somehow only gets him praise for "speaking his own mind". (An amusing sight gag includes a news article stating that Kanye West is defending his right to offend. Boy, that's certainly relevant right now!) 

  There are sporadic appearances of side characters throughout, though none of them really leave an impact or actually move anything forward. The focus is specifically on Seth Rogen's performance, or should I say, performances, and he's excellent in both roles. As Ben, he retains his usual likability, playing the straight man in the situation perfectly. As Herschel, along with his shockingly authentic sounding accent that never actually wavers, he's a delight, and even when he says and does questionable things, you do sympathize with his current situation. It's suitably strange to watch an actor have terrific onscreen chemistry with himself. 

 While the plot can feel jumbled and at times, made up on the fly, "An American Pickle" benefits from an understated sense of humor (Which is very toned down from Rogen's usual work) and the sweet, sincere intentions behind it. The movie ends up being kind of adorable, finding a heartwarming (And oddly poignant) resolution in spite of all the wackiness. The off-kilter nature of the film may not be for everyone exactly, but if you're searching for something quick, consistently funny, and to be honest, thoroughly original, it's the kind of light-hearted diversion that comes out at the right time. 3 Stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Humor And Herschel's Many Threats To Do Violence.   

Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy - Siege                                  ★★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the Hell else you talkin' to?"

First Cow                                                                                                             ★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: "Milk...I wonder if it really does do a body good."

 The current pandemic is the best thing to happen......to "A24". This is the perfect time to give recognition to the much critically acclaimed independent studio, who have given us instant favorites such as "Room", "The Witch", "Green Room", "Moonlight", "20th Century Women", "It Comes at Night", "The Florida Project", "Lady Bird", "The Disaster Artist", "First Reformed", "Hereditary", "Eighth Grade" (I could stop now, yet I feel the need to keep going), "Mid90s", "Midsommar", "The Farewell", "The Lighthouse", "Uncut Gems", and many, many more movies your hipster friend has begged you to watch instead of a "Marvel" movie. (Can't we have both?) Whether or not the movie ends up great, you're going to get something very much unlike anything else to come out of current mainstream cinema.    

 Taking place sometime during the 19th century, "First Cow" follows a quiet, sensitive cook, named "Cookie Figowitz" (John Magaro), who is currently traveling with a group of fur trappers, coming across a Chinese immigrant, "King-Lu" (Orion Lee), with the two quickly becoming friends. Cookie and King-Lu, having settled together in a cabin outside a trappers settlement, they find use for a Jersey Cow (The first cow brought into the territory) that just so happens to belong to a wealthy landowner, "Chief Factor" (Toby Jones), and steal the milk to make some cakes, which become instantly popular with the settlers. Their business flourishes, also attracting the attention of Factor, who hasn't the slightest idea that they're stealing from right under his nose. The plot is basically just a subtle character driven escalation of events. 

 Directed by Kelly Reichardt (Known for smaller budget, personal films), "First Cow" is as A24 as you can possibly get, and if that's what you want, you're sure as Hell going to get it. Based off of the book "The Half Life" (By Jonathan Raymond, who also co-wrote the script), the film is presented with a 4:3 aspect ratio, which is an A24 favorite. It's refreshingly old fashioned (Though that can be an occasional detractor), telling the story through visual presentation and with little dialogue. There is something quite engrossing abut simply watching everything unfold before us, though the intentionally slow pace might leave a viewer checking their watch after a while. It's not really a flaw, though it makes the film not necessarily one I would see myself giving repeat viewing. 

  The film ever really gets into what exactly the relationship is between both John Magaro and Orion Lee's characters, with most of it being left to interpretation. However, there is something so gentle and sincere about it, that you find yourself caring for what becomes of them. It's also very fascinating to see two more sensitive male characters, trapped in an overly in your face masculine world. (Lots of penis measuring contests in this movie) Toby Jones is also enjoyably buffoonish, while some familiar faces that I'd rather not spoil, pop up for small parts.   

 "First Cow" is a moving and muted drama, filled with delicate character development, and culminates in a bittersweet climax. You do sort of question if the creative decisions are just as much distractions, and if lesser filmmakers utilized similar tactics (Intentionally or otherwise), it would be seen as well, bad. I can't say it's something to recommend to everyone, though I can't see how anyone interested in the art of film wouldn't be able to appreciate what it's trying to accomplish. While not exactly great art, it's still good art, and it deserves an audience to analyze it. 3 Stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Content And Hardcore Onscreen Milking.  

The Old Guard                                                                                                   ★★★ out of ★★★★

Hamilton                                                                                                         ★★★★ out of ★★★★

My Spy                                                                                                               ★★ ½ out of ★★★★

Image: "Now pinkie swear you won;t ear me after you finish your ice cream."

 With every movie I've been looking forward to this year ("Black Widow", "Tenet", "Wonder Woman 1984", etc.), at least "Amazon Prime" found the time to finally release a movie that I had been getting advertisements for over a year ago. Thanks guys. 

 After many, many, MANY delays, "My Spy" follows former Special Forces soldier, turned CIA operative, "JJ" (Dave Bautista), who as it turns out really isn't cut out for the job, due to his tendency to attempt to play the hero, resulting in explosions, bad guys getting killed, and nobody taking him seriously as a spy. (He's also mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still that he's become invisible to the eye. Had to thrown in a "Guardians" reference somewhere.) So CIA Director, "Kim" (Ken Jeong) decides to give JJ a less exciting mission. Teamed up with his biggest fan, "Bobbi" (Kristen Schaal), JJ is tasked to watch over widowed mother, "Kate" (Parisa Fitz-Henley) and her precious daughter, "Sophie" (Chloe Coleman), who are the in-law family to a ruthless illegal arms dealer, "Victor Marquez" (Greg Bryk). When JJ and Bobbi are discovered by Sophie, she takes an instant liking to JJ, blackmailing him into keep her company, later convincing him to give her some spy training. Eventually JJ and Sophie bond, become besties, and take down some bad guys together. You know the drill, kids.   

 Directed Peter Segal ("Get Smart" "50 First Dates"), "My Spy" has been pushed back from several release dates (The current pandemic not helping) before settling on being released as an Amazon Prime exclusive, and what for what we get, it's not exactly a bad time. The film is perfectly enjoyable, thoroughly silly, and only really works at all thanks to the stars. It's not a very original, or even all that well thought out, of a story, and due to the surprising edge the film has (Language, violence, and even a little death), it's a little hard to figure out who the movie is actually made for. The comedy can be a little too goofy, giving off some standard family movie vibes, but then someone will get randomly stabbed or blown up. Not to mention the level of gunplay, while admittedly (And even amusingly) absurd, doesn't really feel right in what seems to aimed at a young audience. 

 Dave Bautista has already shown to have some great comedic timing in the "Guardians of the Galaxy" movies, and once again pulls it off here, while injecting his own natural charm to liven up the script. He also has a pretty delightful relationship with Chloe Coleman, who is quite the young scene-stealer. Kristen Schaal also gets some hilarious moments just by being Kristen Schaal and Ken Jeong shows he actually excels at toning himself down. Meanwhile, Parisa Fitz-Henley gets stuck with a generic love interest role and Greg Bryk leaves no impact as our villain. There are also some maybe somewhat questionable, though also admittedly fairly funny supporting roles for Devere Rogers (as "Carlos", the typical, nosy gay neighbor) and Noah Danby (as "Todd", Carlos' partner, who for some reason only speaks in grunts.) 

  "My Spy" is nothing special, memorable, or even that well made. It does offer some solid distraction for the seemingly never ending pandemic, thanks almost entirely to the likability of Bautista and Coleman. The uneven sense of identity doesn't exactly make this something I'd recommend to the family, though we could all do so much worse. Some decent laughs make up for all those spy turned babysitter clichés we've seen before, especially when you at least enjoy the company of the people involved. 2 ½ Stars. Rated PG-13 For Not So Family Friendly Language And Not So Family Friendly Violence. 

Irresistible                                                                                                                ★★ out of ★★★★

Image: Rose Byrne literally chewing the scenery.

 God, I am not looking to the Presidential election at the end of the year. While we are still experiencing this seemingly never ending pandemic (For what I've been told is all a hoax, this has gone on for quite a while), the current state of our country, our current Presidential candidates (One who most likely goes to bed at 6 P.M. and uses the bathroom several times at night, and the other being a grotesque human being and, you know, consistently making things worse for four years straight), and 2020 itself just not taking a damn moment to chill, this is the worst possible time to be going through the election process. 

 "Irresistible" follows cynical Democratic political strategist, "Gary Zimmer" (Steve Carell), who after the now infamous Donald Trump victory, is looking for a chance to change the course of the current political climate. Gary sees an opportunity after seeing a  video featuring a a retired Marine colonel, "Jack Hastings" (Chris Cooper), giving a passionate speech about undocumented workers in his small, mostly conservative Wisconsin town. Gary convinces Jack to run for mayor, with himself running the campaign, bringing along everything within his politically driven arsenal in the process. The mayoral race becomes a total sh*tshow as you would expect, with Gary's longtime Republican rival, "Faith Brewster" (Rose Byrne), arrives to support the current right wing mayor, "Braun" (Brent Sexton), causing Gary more grief as he struggles to create his big political success story.    

 Written and directed by former host of "The Daily Show", Jon Stewart, "Irresistible" has the makings of some good satire, and in a time of divisive politics, we really need something like that right now. Sadly, it only really works if it's well, actually funny. The film lacks much bite or any real edge to it, and it feels like Stewart decided to go for something a bit more in the middle. That's fine, and all. The message of how political parties, the media, and money seem to motivate and manipulate the system to suit their own narrative, and are just as responsible for how crappy things eventually become, is one that deserves addressing. However, it's nothing all that original, and when the laughs are so few and far between, it feels more like a dull, yet oddly cartoonish lecture. There's an uneven tone throughout the film, where things feel grounded one moment, then get strangely silly almost randomly. I know it's supposed to be satirical, but you can't have it both ways. 

 Steve Carell is very Steve Carell, and even while the script is a letdown, he's always really good at playing that. The film has a solid cast, getting good work out of Chris Cooper, Mackenzie Davis (as "Diana", Jack's daughter), Topher Grace (as "Kurt", Gary's pollster), and a very funny Natasha Lyonne (as "Janet", Gary's more technical analyst). However, the real scene stealer would be Rose Byrne, who only appears frequently, but gets easily some of the funniest lines and most outrageous moments, playing up the most mean spirited and needlessly sarcastic of people. (Not to mention, I got a thing for the blonde hair. Just feel like I need to point that out.) 

 "Irresistible" has nothing but the best of intentions, with the message, while nothing that new, is still something of value for people to remember (Especially those in the media and in positions of political power). While there is a last minute twist that adds a little extra layer or depth and I'll admit I didn't quite expect, the movie is not near as clever as it seems to think it is. The inconsistent tone and sporadic laughs keep the film from leaving an impact, and it feels like a wasted opportunity. It's 2020. We need to just sit back and laugh at the absurdity of our divisive state of things. However, it just needs to be a bit more original than this. 2 Stars. Rated R For Lots Of Language, Fox & Friends, And Steve Carell's Pleasurable Enjoyment Of A Pastry.   

The King of Staten Island                                                                                ★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: 2020. A year where Pete Davidson might get an Oscar nomination. That's how weird this sh*t has gotten.

Sometimes the best way to cope with a serious, and very personal subject matter, is to have a good sense of humor about it. It's something that I've noticed SNL comedian, Pete Davidson, is quite good at. It can get uncomfortable, and maybe it's not exactly everyone's thing, yet when you find that right balance, you have the potential to both make people laugh and leave some impact while you do it.

Loosely based on the life of Pete Davidson, "The King of Staten Island" follows "Scott Carlin" (Pete Davidson), a high school dropout/aspiring tattoo artist, who has never quite recovered from the death of his firefighter father years prior. While his sister, "Claire" (Maude Apatow), leaves for college, Scott remains home with his mother, "Margie" (Marisa Tomei), with no signs of his life going anywhere. Scott becomes at odds with another firefighter, "Ray" (Bill Burr), after almost giving his nine year old son a tattoo, leading to Ray starting to hit it off with Margie. Fearing change, Scott becomes determined to find a way to prevent Ray and Margie's relationship from continuing, while attempting his own personal problems.

Directed by Judd Apatow ("Knocked Up", "Funny People", "The 40-Year-Old-Virgin"), with a screenplay also written by Apatow, along with comedy writer David Sirus, and Pete Davidson, "The King of Staten Island" finds comedy in heartbreak. It's a fine balance that the film is able to get right, offering some great back and forth between characters, with some of it being hilarious and at times, kind of depressing. It's something that Apatow has always had a talent for, even though as usual, the film can get a little sidetracked because of it. Little moments that don't really impact the film make it a bit longer than it needs to be. (The film clocks in at two hours and sixteen minutes) However, the laughs are consistent, and the film certainly isn't without some smart insight.

Pete Davidson shows some surprising acting chops here. It's obvious he can be funny, but his dramatic moments are very subtle, and I appreciate that there wasn't a need to overplay his performance. (Not to mention, he is an expert fast talker, going a mile a minute.) Marisa Tomei is lovable, while Steve Buscemi (as "Papa", one of Ray's fellow firefighters) and Maude Apatow all get funny lines and moments of emotion. The film also gets some impressive work from Bill Burr, and especially Bel Powley (as "Kelsey", Scott's female friend/lover/love interest), who brings more to what could of just been a sideplot without much purpose.

"The King of Staten Island" might seem to overstay itself at times, though there are consistent laughs and a deeper, heartfelt story at the center, making the moments of filler feel minor. There is something very smart about the film, and it has a more unique way of approaching its subject matter, as well as explaining it. Using a sense of humor to cope with a certain trauma is a very human thing to do, and this movie gets that better than most. Not to mention, it gave me a new found appreciation for tattoos. 3 Stars. Rated R For Lots Of Language And Adult Content.

Da 5 Bloods                                          by James Eagan                             ★★★★ out of ★★★★

Image: "Maybe we should dig our way out of 2020." 

 I'll admit that I'm not the most professional film critic out there. Aside from you know, not being paid at all, I'm still really far behind when it comes to the fimographies of some of cinema's most prolific directors. It's also pretty pathetic that my introduction to acclaimed director and activist, Spike Lee was that forgettable "Oldboy" remake. With that said, along with "BlacKkKlansman" (Which was one of 2018's best films), I have started to really see what makes him such a unique voice in film. It's commendable to see how one can entertain, inspire, compel, and leave you thinking at the same time. It's also the kind of movie, considering the current climate in America at the moment, that is more necessary than ever.  

 Released through "Netflix" (And most likely making up for last week's "The Last Days of American Crime"), "Da 5 Bloods" follows the story of aged, American Vietnam War veterans, "Paul" (Delroy Lindo), "Otis" (Clarke Peters), "Eddie" (Norm Lewis), and "Melvin" (Isiah Whitlock Jr.), returning to Vietnam, saying that they are there to retrieve the remains of a beloved fallen fellow soldier, "Norman Earl Holloway" (Chadwick Boseman), also known as "Stormin' Earl". However, it turns out there is more to this expedition than they're admitting. They're also on the hunt for some buried gold bars that they previously uncovered with Norm before he was killed in action.

 The crew also ends up bringing along Paul's son, "David" (Jonathan Majors), who is attempting to mend their damaged relationship. The quest is being funded by Otis' old flame, "Tiên" (Lê Y Lan), as well as a French businessman, "Desroche" (Jean Reno), who may or may not be particularly trustworthy. With some help from their Vietnamese guide, "Vinh" (Johnny Trí Nguy?n), the veterans journey deep into the jungle to find their deceased friend as well as their treasure. Seems simple enough, but it doesn't take long for things to unravel, and it's best that you don't know too much going into this. 

 The definition of a "Spike Lee Joint", "Da 5 Bloods" is based on a script by Danny Bilson and Paul De Mero that previously had been sitting on the shelf for seven years before Spike Lee and his frequent collaborator, Kevin Willmott ("Chi-Raq". "BlacKkKlansman"), giving the film a more socially relevant rewrite. It's a grand, old fashioned epic, that also just so happens to be one of the best movies I've seen this year (By far), and also smartest movies I've seen in quite a while. The film reaches past the two and a half hour mark, yet you never notice, due to how well paced and compacted the story is. It has the makings of something you've seen before (The old friends/veterans going on a treasure hunt has become somewhat of a classic tale), but how it all plays out doesn't feel remotely by the numbers. It also helps that the screenplay is chock full of well defined, fascinating characters (Each with their own motivations), and the strong dialogue they're given. Lee expertly delivers on the interactions between them, while also incorporating moments of well placed (And much appreciated) humor and incredibly powerful and intense drama. It takes good writing to have time for characters to describe how their PTSD has affected their lives, yet also have time for some good banter and how some of the main characters react to how of their own is somehow a "Trump" supporter. However, the film also even finds a way to humanize that in a way that I really hope more people can at least understand.  

 In a year that hasn't had the time to grace us with too many Oscar caliber performances (It's flippin June, and I haven't even seen fifty movies yet. I don't think I'm going to get past a hundred this year, am I?), we get a truly memorable one that's going to leave on Hell of an impression. Delroy Lindo hits it out of the ball park with an amazingly complex, emotionally fierce, and passionate performance. He gets one especially captivating monologue, shot while focusing almost completely on his face and never breaking contact with the viewer, that I can defines what I would consider flawless acting. While Lindo gets the biggest showcase, the comradery between him,  Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis, and Isiah Whitlock Jr., gives the film heart, along with an equally fantastic Jonathon Majors. The film just has a great cast of characters, all contributing in some fashion, from a suitably snooty Jean Reno, a really likable Johnny Trí Nguy?n, and a small, absorbing part for Veronica Ngo (as real life Vietnamese radio personality, "Hanoi Hannah"). Chadwick Boseman also shines in his small role, only appearing in flashbacks that are presented in an aspect ratio and style reminiscent of Vietnam War stock footage. The changing tones add an extra layer of depth to the film, keeping you constantly engaged. 

 "Da 5 Bloods" is a movie that's made for the big screen, but still doesn't lose any of its grit and cinematic quality. From Spike Lee's brilliant direction, the Oscar worthy screenplay, and enthralling performances, the film also brings everything that we see throughout the film (Whether it be seemingly unimportant or simply something meant to be on the sidelines) all together in one gutpunch of a finale, resulting in this year's most poignant and culturally significant endings. Current events continue to spiral, avoidable deaths continue to happen, almost half of the country still refuses to see there's even an issue, and there is for some reason still a debate about why people are trying to draw awareness to a serious societal problem involving race. 2020 still sucks so far, but the impact that we can still feel from the best of cinema certainly hasn't taken a hit. 4 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Violence, And Dramatic Weight. 

Artemis Fowl                                                                                            ★ OUT OF ★★★★

Image: Man, "Men in Black" sure took a weird turn.

 As kids, we may have been taught not to judge a book by its cover, but with the eight installment book series, "Artemis Fowl", I did exactly that. The book had an awesome cover (It had a sparkling, locked gold, old fashioned fantasy tome-like design), and while I only read the first book (I was like seven or eight!), I remember it being pretty cool actually. Sort of like an anti-Harry Potter, with a young sort of villain protagonist, eventually becoming more of an anti-hero, that also had fantasy elements thrown in there. It was a long time ago, but even I know something is not right here!   

 Based on the young adult book series of the same name by Eoin Colfer, "Artemis Fowl II.", of course, follows the titular twelve year old protagonist, "Artemis Fowl" (Ferdia Shaw). Artemis is the super intelligent son of his wealthy businessman father, "Artemis Fowl I" (Colin Farrell), who has always told his son stories of fairies and an unimaginable world that no other human has ever seen. After his father mysteriously vanishes, Artemis also learns that he is also suspected to of been responsible for the theft of many priceless artifacts before receiving a call from a mysterious, raspy voiced, hooded villainess, "Opal Koboi" (Listed as being voiced by an uncredited Hong Chau, but something feels off about that). Koboi has kidnapped Artemis' father and demands that he bring her a dangerous artifact, called the "Aculos", or else he'll never see him again. Artemis, along with his faithful bodyguard/butler, unfortunately named "Domovoi Butler" (Nonso Anozie), devise a very elaborate, and very confusing scheme to find out where the Aculos has been hidden. The plan involves kidnapping a fairy officer, "Holly Short" (Lara McDonnell), manipulating a giant dwarf, "Mulch Diggums" (Josh Gad), and avoiding the "Lower Elements Police" (LEP), led by "Commander Julius Root" (Judi Dench), with Artemis Fowl becoming a renowned criminal mastermind in the process of saving his kidnapped papa.    

 Directed by Kenneth Branagh (With the last Disney movie he did being easily one of their best live action remakes, "Cinderella"), "Artemis Fowl" had been in development hell for years, with the big screen adaptation getting pushed around before becoming another casualty of the country shutting down, settling for a release on Disney+. It has the makings of something cool, but boy, does it just get everything so wrong. It's an adaptation where more than a few important aspects appear to have been lost in translation, and those aspects are what just so happen of been what would of held it all together. The screenplay by Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl ("Johnny English Reborn", and something much better, "Paddington"), has so much to get done in an hour and a half, with underdevloped characters, and loads of exposition filled with mythology and lore, just being tossed in at random.

 None of the characters truly stand out, and the plot itself takes away too much time to get going, to the point where the main focus doesn't even become an issue until the last twenty minutes. There are some nice looking visuals, such as the underground fairy city or the goblin prisons, but we don't see much of that. Most of the film takes place at the generic looking "Fowl Manor", with that part of the story taking up the entire second act, and even a little into the third. Because of this, most of the effects we're left with are shockingly crappy, looking like the admittedly dated effects fro the original "Harry Potter" movie. (However, that movie gets a pass for not only being much better, but also being you know, almost nineteen years old.)   

  Ferdia Shaw, grandson of Robert Shaw, really doesn't quite have the onscreen charisma to carry what is meant to be a character with such a presence and sense of confidence. It's especially noticeable during scenes with Lara McDonnell, who while also doesn't really have the role completely down, does seem to be more of a natural than Shaw is. Nonso Anozie doesn't end up having much of a role to contribute by the end, along with Tamara Smart (as "Juliet", Butler's niece), who I have no idea what her purpose was actually supposed to be. The more enjoyable performances come from Josh Gad, getting a couple amusing lines despite essentially being Hagrid if Hagrid sucked, and Judi Dench, who I get the idea is just here simply to see what kinds of bizarre things they can get her to say and do. (We do get the sight of her saying "Top of the morning to ya!", so there's that.) Colin Farrell is also frustratingly limited to a handful of scenes.

 Then we get to one of the stranger flaws in the film, the villain. We never actually see her, with her face hidden in shadows and by a hood, with the voice being completely distorted, and while her name is mentioned onscreen many times, she's still listed as "Shadowy Female Figure" in the credits. The character feels out of place, doesn't actually do anything of real menace, and Hong Chau, despite being listed as playing the character in all promotional material, is nowhere to be found in the actual movie. Is this a reshoot issue? Or maybe something to do with the actress realizing the movie was trash? It makes for a really hard to follow plot device that both takes up a lot time, and yet, feels completely disconnected at the same time. Not to mention, with the main threat being mostly inconsequential, there isn't any sense of urgency to whatever is actually happening.

 Nearly impossible to follow in some places, resulting in an almost conflict-free climax, and clearly edited into oblivion, "Artemis Fowl" just falls apart in the most baffling of ways. It's Kenneth Branagh's "The Last Airbender". The movie feels wrong, and it certainly is made worse by the lack of any real sense of wonder or magic. (It's a Disney film in name only.) Maybe it's best that your kids just spend some their quarantine time reading instead. They'll get more joy out of that instead. 1 Star. Rated PG For Scary Images, Such As Josh Gad Unnaturally Opening His Jaw Like A Cartoon Shark. That's Gonna Haunt Me For A While.    

The Last Days of American Crime                                                                               By James Eagan                                                                No Stars OUT OF ★★★★

Image: "Put down the gun...And the script...And the camera....You know what, just throw all of it away!"

 Not much having come out the last couple weeks, and not to mention the political and social uproar that's been impossible not to get involved in. (The racial ramifications have been ignored for far too long!) So with the debate between the power that our law enforcement has abused in the past (And whether you choose to believe it or not, continues to abuse from time to time), why the absolute Hell did anyone think to themselves "Yyyeah. Perfect time to release this one!". 

 "The Last Days of American Crime" takes place in the future-ish somewhat, where after years of rampant crime, the government decides to send out a countrywide broadcast signal (Known as the "American Peace Initiative" or "API") that will cause a painful, piercing sound into the heads of anyone daring to even think of committing a crime of any kind. Our hero, a ruthless and violent bank robber, "Graham Bricke" (Édgar Ramírez) is depressed, having recently heard that his brother committed suicide in prison, he's had no logical choice (Apparently), but to kill all of those responsible for selling him out, and with the API about to go into effect, it means his criminal career is about to be over. However, Bricke meets the wacky son of a gangster, "Kevin Cash" (Michael Pitt) and his shady fiancée, "Shelby Dupree" (Anna Brewster), come to Bricke with an offer. Kevin, who was in prison with Bricke's deceased brother, knows that his death wasn't a suicide, convincing Bricke to join them in a last second heist before the API begins. Seems simple enough, right? Bricke is always serious, he has a thing with Shelby, Kevin is crazy, and there are bad guys. So why does this movie clock in at about two hours and twenty nine minutes? Its because someone went out of their way to make the absolute worst thing imaginable this year. 

 Timing is the least of the problems that plague "The Last Days of American Crime", but it's the most obviously offensive aspect of it. I get not accounting for real life events getting in the way of the point you're trying to make. However, when there is no point you're trying to make, and instead you just want to pile up excessive violence, sex, swears, and an onslaught of bullets piercing blood splattering flesh, you really deserve nothing but the ridicule of the American moviegoers. Not to mention you make a pretty damn terrible movie at the same time. Directed by the most likely villainous Oliver Megaton ("Transporter 3", Taken 2", and "Taken 3" or as we call it, "Tak3n"), the film is a narrative disaster of nearly epic proportions, failing in nearly every filmmaking department. 

 Based on the graphic novel of the same name by Rick Remender and Greg Tocchini (Though I haven't the slightest clue what this has to do with it), the film is a ruthless tribute to dirty, sleazy excess, but not the good kind. I mean dirty as in grimey and ugly, with near exploitative levels of gory violence, hilariously limp sexual content, and some of the worst dialogue you'll ever hear courtesy of the in your face macho screenplay by Karl Gajdusek ("Oblivion", "The November Man"). The movie seems to get the idea that it's so edgy and cool, feeling increasingly lame the longer it goes. Horrendous dialogue and grotesquely unlikable characters don't exactly make for a so bad it's good experience when your movie doesn't seem to know when to get to the damn point. Though even with that said, the point itself seems to be lost. In fact, it's almost an hour and a half until the actual plot kicks in, with the film taking several detours before getting to the heist that the film has been building up to. I don't even know what half of these little distractions are supposed to contribute, and I'm having more trouble trying to remember the order in which these scenes happen. It absolutely has to be the worst edited film I've seen in a long time. A good hour or so could of been shaved off of this movie, and that hour wouldn't of been missed. 

  Édgar Ramírez is someone I've seen be a good actor, but in this, he gives an award worthy (Razzie award worthy that is) performance. It's an outstanding achievement in dull, remaining stone face throughout the entire movie, never emoting once, and failing to generate any kind of sympathy whatsoever. His chemistry with Anna Brewster, who gets some of the worst dialogue out of the entire cast, is nonexistent, and their romance feels grossly shallow. While Ramirez overly tones it down, Michael Pitt overly turns it up, nearly exploding off the screen in how over the top he is. Screaming every other line like a maniac, mugging as if he's having trouble chewing his food, and just plain being a plague on your eyes and ear in every scene, Michael Pitt's shtick gets old before it even begins. Other supporting characters come and go, with some overdoing it, most adding little, and as for Sharlto Copley (as "William Sawyer", a cop who gets a random mini-subplot for about ten minutes), he's criminally wasted. (How dare you do a nonsensical, cartoonish action movie and not let him chew the scenery. He's actually a pro at that!)  

 Reveling in decadence, always trying to show off how "cool" it is, and never cutting the tough guy crap, "The Last Days of American Crime" is a movie trying its best to compensate for a tiny penis. The timing of its release is certainly unwarranted, yet it's nothing compared to the visual ugliness that the film seems to drape itself in. In terms of direction, writing, acting, editing, and basic coherence, it deserves all of the panning it's been getting. It coming out while the country is going through a very heated, but much needed social debate, just makes it worse. I really can't think of a single good reason to give it any stars, because that would mean something positive would of come out of this almost two and a half hour orgy of cinematic foulness. So yeah, No Stars. When nothing good comes out of a movie, it deserves nothing back. Rated R For All Kinds Of Sex, Violence, Language, And Police Brutality That It's Best Movies (Let Alone Bad Ones) Shouldn't Probably Show For A While.  

The Lovebirds                                 By James Eagan                               ★★★ OUT OF ★★★★

Image: Good Cop, Bad Unicorn.

 We are officially hitting the point where all of this is starting to become normal, and while the premise behind watching movies on my phone and computer will always feel odd to me (You really do miss the whole movie going experience.), I'm getting a little too used to it and I don't like it! 

 "The Lovebirds" opens with the almost sickening lovey dovey relationship between "Leilani" (Issa Rae) and "Jibran" (Kumail Nanjiani). The two are inseparable and destined to be together......at first. Some time later, the couple has grown distant, are always arguing, and are left questioning where their relationship goes from here. While on their way to a friend's party, Leilani and Jibran decide to call it quits, only for their breakup to be interrupted when Jibran hits a guy on a bicycle with his car. Then seconds later, a random guy with a mustache, who they nickname "Moustache" (Paul Sparks), claiming to be a cop (And that the cyclist is also a criminal) hi-jacks their car, and proceeds to run over the guy twice, killing him. It becomes obvious that Moustache isn't a cop, especially when he flees the scene, leaving Leilani and Jibran looking pretty guilty of murder. Now on the run, the couple has to work together to find the killer and clear their names in the process, while also stumbling upon a strange conspiracy involving a congressman and his wife, "Edie" (Anna Camp), a bunch of frat boys, and a mask wearing sex cult. The day escalates really fast. 

 Directed by Michael Showalter ("The Big Sick"), "The Lovebirds" is the kind of short and sweet, and often pretty damn funny diversion that feels just what the doctor ordered while we're waiting for the world to finally normalize once again. The movie is over the top and revolves around some forced situations, which are made thankfully quite funny due to good timing, smart writing, and a pair of wonderful leads. The movie is certainly unpredictable in its oddness, with the plot moving along briskly and almost randomly. Most of the best comedy comes from how far things get in such a short amount of time. Its all kinds of goofy, but you can forgive the film for that, especially when you're getting a consistent amount of laughs. 

 Most of this works because of the pitch perfect chemistry between Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani. They work well off each other with their constant comebacks and throwaway jokes, and while in terms of comedy, it's not hard to see how good their chemistry would be. Romantically, they are dynamite as well. Sure they argue a lot, yet you can see the clear love that these two characters have, even when they forget. It actually ends up being really sweet and thoughtful, and even with all of the over the top wackiness going on, it feels like one of the more realistic movie relationships I've seen in a while. Other characters don't get much screentime, though they really aren't meant to be the focus, the only exception being an enjoyably weird appearance from Anna Camp.     

 "The Lovebirds" doesn't overstay its welcome (It's not even an hour and a half), and comes to a predictable, though crowdpleasing conclusion at the right moment. Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani make the film, and are a delight all the way through. With a hidden sweetness, unexpectedly good laughs, and an entertaining amount of absurdity, 2020 may be continuing to remain stuck, but at least the movies remain a nice way to escape and making us laugh. Still, is there a chance we can get back to living our lives in time for "Tenet" to come out? C'mon! It looks awesome. 3 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Bickering Couples, And What We All Know Masked Rich People Do On The Weekends. 

Scoob!                                                                                                    ★★ ½ OUT OF ★★★★

Capone                                               by James Eagan                                   ★★ OUT OF ★★★★

Image: "Wise guy, eh?"

 What was once a non paying job that required one or two shifts a week, has turned into maybe something every two weeks. Sure some people are insisting it's all over, the virus has been neutralized, and that it's perfectly safe to go out, pile up, and party! It doesn't work like that people, and even if the whole pandemic had reached its end, that doesn't mean we should all start gathering in collective groups once again. We're not out of the woods yet, so all we can do is sit back and watch Tom Hardy slowly munch down on some delicious scenery, spit it out, and chew on it some more because, well, he's crazy. Fun, right? 

 "Capone" follows the final, miserable days of feared gangster and bootlegger, "Al Capone" (Tom Hardy), after his release from prison. Having retired in Florida, Capone lives with his wife, "Mae" (Linda Cardellini), and the rest of his family, while his mind is slowly and painfully rotting away from syphilis and dementia. While the feds keep Capone under surveillance, hoping that he will reveal where he supposedly hid $10 million, Capone also starts to face visions of all the death and misery he's caused, as well with how it has effected him as the once former dreaded crime boss nears death's door. All of this happening in a not so glamorous fashion.     

 Directed, written, and edited by Josh Trank (Who also directed 2011's "Chronicle" and supposedly directed some of the 2015 "Fantastic Four" aka "Fant4stic"), "Capone" has been declared by some critics to be the most gonzo, baffling, and on the cusp of "So Bad, It's Good" movie of 2020. While I can admit that the film is certainly bizarre and at times, fairly wacko, I'm a little disappointed because once you get down to it, all we really get is a mostly safe, generic, and pretty unnecessary crime biopic without much substance. Something preventing it from really being any worse, is that Trank really isn't a bad director. The movie looks fine, and the stylistic choices, while weird and out there, aren't badly staged at all. The writing on the other hand doesn't quite reach any spectacular heights, and the strange tone does not gel in the slightest. There are out of place sequences of outlandish imagery, and over the top violence, becoming needlessly gory for no reason. There are head shots, brutal neck stabbings, and a guy gouging out his eyes, all executed in an almost cartoonish fashion. I can enjoy some good, goofy bloody violence, but its really not something that a movie like this should really have. 

 The film also doesn't any room for character development, offering little insight on much of the true crime story, with much of it feeling undercooked. Tom Hardy however, is kind of a unique form of spectacular here. Purely committed in the decent enough prosthetics, with the caricature-like raspy voice, Hardy looks as if he's portraying a demented version of "Baby Herman" from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?". It's all kinds of peculiar, but it's also something that livens up what could of just been a forgettable biopic. Others such as Linda Cardellini (Once again giving much more than her thankless role requires), Matt Dillon (as "Johnny", an old mobster friend), and Jack Lowden (as an FBI agent), aren't given good enough material to work with. Granted, the focus is purely on Tom Hardy, and he's oddly captivating to watch, whether it be his constant chewing on a cigar, the almost hilarious outbursts, and the constant crap he's spewing. (Literal crap. There's a lot of crap in this movie.) 

 Not near unintentionally (Or intentionally? There are moments where it's hard to tell) funny enough to be fun, "Capone" is like stale bread. It's so bland once you really get into it, drags on in the middle (Especially during an especially driven out dream sequence), and doesn't feel necessary for any other reason than to just have Tom Hardy offer some amusing new gifs for Twitter to play with. For that novelty, there's some enjoyment to be had. It's just not enough to earn a place on any end of the year lists. Good or bad. 2 Stars. Rated R For Strong Language, Strong Moments Of Violence, And Capone Crap. 

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - The "Siege of Mandalore" Arc                                                                                                                                                                                                             By James Eagan

Image: Yeah, I can see Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka.

 Part 3: "Shattered" opens with the battle of Mandalore seemingly coming to a close, with Maul under arrest, and his followers having been defeated. Ahsoka leaves with the clone to return the captured crime lord to the Jedi Council, though there is still plenty of tension between her and her former teachers. Anyone who knows Star Wars should know that she never makes it to Coruscant, as the long awaited and much feared "Order 66" is enacted by the newly "Elected" Emperor Palpatine, resulting in all clones (Including Rex) turning on all of their Jedi generals across the galaxy. Ahsoka fights to survive the onslaught from her now bloodthirsty friends, having no other choice but to make a deal with the devil, teaming up with Maul in hopes of escaping the attack of the clones. (See what I did there?)

 The third part slows things down, almost to a halt, but that is where the arc really begins to shine. This is where it makes its mark, becoming one of the series' best. (If not the best.) First the poignant conversation between Ashoka and Rex at the episode's beginning really drives home how this war has developed these characters, in ways for the better or possibly the worse. Its a beautiful moment, with Ashley Eckstein and Dee Bradley Baker giving terrific performances. (Voice acting is real acting, and people need to realize it.) When the sh*t hits the fan, and Order 66 rears its ugly head, and the clones open fire on poor Ahsoka, it hurts. You really do feel a connection to these characters, and despite you know how this is all going to end, you love them enough to hope for something else to happen. Toss in Maul reenacting Vader's hallway massacre scene in "Rogue One, and you got yourself another perfect episode. Ranking: 10/10. 

The Willoughbys                                                                                                             By James Eagan                                                            ★★★ ½ OUT OF ★★★★

Image: "Our Netflix account was suspended....NOOOOO!!!!" 

 Last year's Oscar nominated "Klaus" was a welcome surprise from Netflix, and showed that this could be the place for more unique forms of animation that other studios would never be brave enough to attempt. It's also the only place where a family movie as crazy and refreshingly unsentimental as this could exist. While 2020 continues to bring us down, this is the pick me up I needed. 

 Based on the book by Lois Lowry, "The Willoughbys" follows the titular "Willoughbys", a family descended from ingenious inventors and adventurers, all known for their glorious mustaches (The women have them too!). However, the current generation is less than admirable, with young, mustache-less "Tim" (Will Forte), his sing-songy sister, "Jane" (Alessia Cara), and their creepy twin brothers, both named "Barnaby" (Seán Cullen), living with selfish, neglectful "Father" (Martin Short) and "Mother" (Jane Krakowski). With their parents having suggested that they find love elsewhere since the day they were born, Tim attempts to be the voice of reason to the family, though usually ends up taking the fall for everything instead. When Jane finds a baby (That they later name "Ruth") in a box outside their house, the parents demand that the children get rid of her. The kids leave the orphaned Ruth at a colorful candy factory, which is owned by the goofy Wonka-esque, "Commander Melanoff" (Terry Crews).

 Seeing Ruth in a new happy home, this gives the children the idea that they would be better off as orphans. The kids devise a scheme to create an elaborate, death filled vacation, sending their parents off to possibly die (They're terrible people after all. So it's okay), which would result in the children becoming orphans. However, before they leave, the parents just so happen to hire the cheapest nanny they could find, "Linda" (Maya Ruldolph), whose happy, loving nature comes as a shock to the kids. With their new nanny, the Willoughbys find themselves in a series of mis-adventures, which become more complicated as the parents continue to survive their deadly vacation. All of this being overseen and narrated by a talking blue cat (Ricky Gervais).

 Directed by Kris Pearn ("Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2"), with a co-directing credit to Rob Lodermeier, "The Willoughbys" is one of the more unconventional animated films you can find, which still finds a way to offer plenty for the whole family to enjoy. The film is given a colorful picture book-like feeling, from each character's sporadic movements, the animated chaos in the background and foreground, and the fact that everyone's hair looks a lot like balls of yarn. The animation clearly is designed to look close to stop motion, and every frame is given a certain eccentricity. It's incredible work from the animators, with character designer Craig Kellmen ("Madagascar", "Hotel Transylvania", "The Addams Family"), really allowing the kooky cast to each have their time to shine. All of it is brought to whimsical and bizarre life by the strong screenplay by Pearn and Mark Stanleigh, which avoids anything remotely close to cloying (And even seems to poke fun at that idea) in favor of a sarcastic and even pretty dark sense of humor. (I mean, there are literally cars always crashing in the background. I don't even know why.) The film embraces that kind of humor, and even knowing the kids are watching, doesn't hold back in an occasional probably not so family friendly joke. (Everything involving the parents sickeningly lovey relationship is chock full of inappropriateness, and while the kids may be confused, the adults watching will get a kick out of it.) 

 The delightful cast of characters consists of the voices involved clearly enjoying the chance to let loose and have a blast. The completely unrecognizable Will Forte is suitably great as the nervous, though likable lead, along with a fantastically quirky Alessia Cara. Seán Cullen gets to steal a lot of scenes with the twins' off kilter throwaway lines, while Maya Rudolph and Terry Crews fit well into the weird world the movie sets up. Martin Short and Jane Krakowski are both hilariously vile, deliciously embracing their roles as the worst kinds of people imaginable. Meanwhile, the perfect casting of Ricky Gervais really should give the right idea as to what kind of movie this intends to be. 

  While at times "The Willoughbys" might be too weird for its own good, and on occasion gets a little distracted while trying to tell its story, the film makes up for it with a tight pace, great laughs, and an incredible animation style that's always a joy to watch. Even with the lack of in your face sentimentality, there is still a sweet story in there, and a warm message of the different forms that family can come in. So many of the movies we've been given this year have had this feeling of forgettability (Even the good ones), and it's very cathartic to have one truly stand out as something special. It's not Disney or Pixar, but it's a great choice for a quarantined family movie night. Especially if you actually like your family. 3 ½ Stars. Rated PG For Questionable Childlike Antics, Abused Tour Guides, And Mother's Balls. 

Image: "Stop calling me Fat Thor!"

 It has been day thirty-nine since both of my livelihoods were physically destroyed in one fell swoop, and all things fun have been cancelled. While I do hear that ingesting Lysol might be the miracle cure we've all been hoping for (Thank God nobody in a position of power appeared to suggest that), I'm starting to assume that this will be the way of the world for most, if not the rest, of the year, and I should just get used to it. So to make up for the lack of an upcoming "Marvel" movie, the Russo Brothers have given us......another rainy day/quarantine movie. There are so many of those right now.    

 "Extraction" opens in Mumbai, India, with the kidnapping of "Ovi Mahajan" (Rudraksh Jaiswal), the son of the biggest drug lord India (Pankaj Tripathi). The kidnapping was orchestrated by a rival, Bangladeshi crime lord, "Amir Asif" (Priyanshu Painyuli), forcing Ovi's fathers henchman, "Saju" (Randeep Hooda), in hopes of protecting his own family, to seek help in tracking poor Ovi down. This leads to the hiring of death seeking black market mercenary, "Tyler Rake" (Chris Hemsworth), and his team, to help find out where Amir is holding Ovi hostage, revealed to be Dhaka, Bangladesh. When Tyler finds Ovi however, it turns out that being paid was never part of the plan, and now Tyler must protect Ovi from getting killed in the crossfire of a gang war, and get him home, whole hopefully sparing him from the vile nature of this kind of world.      

 Directed by stunt coordinator, Sam Hargrave (Who performed work in "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Endgame"), with producers Anthony and Joe Russo (Who also wrote the screenplay), "Extraction" is a mostly generic action thriller, made by capable and talented people, but doesn't result in anything of true substance. It's really just a less than mediocre film, made slightly better by occasional moments of inspiration and potential for the filmmakers to go on to something better in the future. The story is something you've seen before, and the screenplay does not offer near enough personality of its own to make it memorable. It's not without some solid actions sequences though. An especially terrific nearly thirty minute setpiece, filmed to simulate a single take, involves a car chase into a crowded street, with the chase going through an apartment complex, and culminating in a knife fight in the street. Most of the action is fairly solid, and the movie does give us the rather amazing sight of Chris Hemsworth beating up (After taking a slight beating himself) a bunch of teenagers armed with machine guns, knives, and machetes. (It also results in a hilarious line where Tyler refers to them as "The Goonies from Hell")

 Chris Hemsworth easily makes up for his character's lack of depth (Though the film does try to add more as it goes) with his own natural charisma, and newcomer Rudraksh Jaiswal does a fine job, especially when he's paired with him. (Their occasional banter adds some much needed humor, and even their dramatic scenes feel natural) Some of the supporting cast have their moments, such as an excellent Randeep Hooda and Golshifteh Farahani (as "Nik Khan", Tyler's Partner), though the villains are as basic and forgettable as they come. Also, thank God for the brief appearance from David Harbour (as "Gaspar", an old mercenary buddy for Tyler's), who adds a little extra life to the film. The movie does make a point to give the Indian actors roles, making up for a supposed typical white savior mentality, and it's very much appreciated. 

 "Extraction" is a bit too violent for its own good at times (People splatter and squish), and wouldn't normally be the kind of movie that you should rush out to see. This does make its placement on Netflix at this very moment kind of perfect. Better than average, but that's only thanks to the people involved, and while entertaining enough in the moment, I can't recommend it as something legitimately good. There isn't enough characterization, in depth drama, or anything that requires it. You get some good action and some good performances to keep things elevated. That's enough for something to put on in the background while we're all constantly checking our E-Mails for word on stimulus checks. 2 ½ Stars. Rated R For Bloody Violence And Teen Rage.