In Theaters: Coco, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, The Star, Wonder, Justice League, Lady Bird, Last Flag Flying, Daddy's Home 2, Murder on the Orient Express, Pokemon, Thor: Ragnarok, A Bad Moms Christmas, Suburbicon, Jigsaw, The Florida Project, Geostorm, Boo 2! A Madea Halloween, Only the Brave, The Foreigner, Happy Death Day
Coming Soon: The Disaster Artist, Darkest Hour, The Shape of Water, Just Getting Started, Ferdinand, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, All the Money in the World, Downsizing, Father Figures, Pitch Perfect 3, Molly's Game, The Greatest Showman, Jumanji 2, Phantom Thread, The Post
★★★½: Very Good
★★½ : Eh
★★: Could've Been Worse, Could've Been Better
★½: Is It Too Late To Get A Refund?
★: Hope You Have A Good Date
½: Little To No Redeeming Value
No Stars: Rethink Your Life Choices
Image: A boy and his....Wait, what the Hell is that thing with the tongue?
Please tell me if I'm becoming one of those critics who can't stop giving 4 star reviews, constantly praising to the point you're starting to run out of the right adjectives to use without sounding repetitive, I'm adding yet another film to the already long list of great movies you would even consider buying (Or at least seeing in theaters again), Pixar (And Disney) had to pop up and add another little gem to their already ridiculously impressive filmography. Thanks for making doing my "Best Movies of the Year" list more difficult, Pixar! I stand by my 4 star standards.
After a slightly overlong, but cute and funny "Frozen" short (If you're not a fan of "Olaf the Snowman", you're gonna hate this thing), "Coco" follows 12 year old "Miguel" (Anthony Gonzalez), who dreams of being a musician like his now deceased hero, famed musician "Ernesto de la Cruz" (Benjamin Bratt). But his shoe making family, who hates music, due to his deceased great-great-grandmother, "Mamá Imelda" (Alanna Ubach) being abandoned with his still living great-grandmother "Mamá Coco" (Ana Ofelia Murguia) by his mysterious, unknown great-great-grandfather. The family's ban on music is enforced by Miguel's tough "Abuelita" (Renée Victor), who will have none of Miguel's aspirations for music. On "Día de Muertos" (Day of the Dead), Miguel learns from an old photo that his great-great-grandfather may of actually be Ernesto de la Cruz, and tries to tell the rest of his family, who once again refuse to allow Miguel to continue with his dream, resulting in the smashing of his guitar.
Miguel decides to prove himself in a talent show, sneaking into de la Cruz's mausoleum to "Borrow" his famous guitar, and through mysterious circumstances, ends up finding himself crossing over to "The Other Side", along with a bizarre street dog, "Dante", that he has befriended. Miguel runs into his skeletal dead relatives, along with Mamá Imelda, who agree to send him home through a relative "Blessing", so long as he abandons music all together. Miguel refuses, setting off with Dante and "Hector" (Gael García Bernal), a bit of a schemer who wants to find a way to cross over to the land of the living, to track down Ernesto de la Cruz and get his blessing instead. Miguel and his friends are left with only until sunrise to find him or else he will end up trapped in the land of the dead forever.
"Coco" is another movie that shows just how much work and effort Pixar will put into their movies, outmatching the rest of the competition with ease. Directed by Lee Unkrich ("Toy Story 3") with some co-direction from the co-writer Adrian Molina, the movie is beautifully detailed, with each frame filled with so much life (You know, for a movie about the dead) and color that you wonder how long and just how the animators were able to truly pull this one off. Visually the screen is filled with the many characters that pop up throughout and the sheer scope of the world presented that you can't take your eyes off the screen for a second without missing something.
Music plays a major role in "Coco" and the many songs, along with the score itself is unique and original, while also undeniably wonderful to listen to. The film is also really funny, with the script providing great back and forth dialogue among the characters, while balancing out strong messages of family and of death itself, which despite being sad, is also promoted in a somewhat joyful manner in how it's best to celebrate the departed ones we love and cherish their memories. Although being about death, the movie isn't afraid to get a little dark (In fact, it gets surprisingly heavy in the last act), and in typical Pixar fashion, it still manages to pull on the heartstrings and will probably make even the most cynical of adults tear up just a little bit.
The unforgettable characters are all played wonderfully by an genuine cast, with Anthony Gonzalez carrying the film, with Gael García Bernal providing great comic relief and heart. Benjamin Bratt is always a welcome addition to most things, and the rest of the authentic group of actors give it their all. The real scene stealer here is the hilariously animated, and absolutely adorable dog Dante, who just cracks me up every second he's on screen. The legitimacy of the cast adds to the way the Day of the Dead is represented, along with the Latino based culture itself, which is done in a very respectful manner that is sure to get more people curious about it.
With an immense attention to detail, plenty of good laughs, and a heartfelt and emotional story, "Coco" is another Pixar winner for both kids and adults to enjoy, making for a literal perfect family movie about, well, family. I can see it becoming a family favorite, and like I said before, it sure makes doing my best of the year list much more difficult. 4 stars. Rated PG For Some Adult Jokes, Heavy Material, And For Executive Producer John Lasseter.
Image: One strong mother.
I think anyone whose ever lived and/or driven through a small, southern town of any kind, has seen these people before. But too many of these films write them as caricatures. It takes a special script to show the dignity and passion that you will find in so many parts of the country. Just sprinkle in a hint of uncomfortable talk and opinions, and you've pretty much nailed it
"Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" opens with divorced, grieving mother, "Mildred Hayes" (Frances McDormand), who is filled with guilt over the violent rape and death of her daughter a few months prior, along with frustration over the lack of progress the town police has gotten in finding the man responsible. She gets the owner of an advertising agency, "Red" (Caleb Landry Jones), to allow her to rent out three billboards on the outside of town, getting them to read out "Raped While Dying", "And Still No Arrests", "How Come, Chief Willoughby?". This catches the attention of the real, beloved town hero "Sherriff Bill Willoughby" (Woody Harrelson).
Suffering from pancreatic cancer, Willoughby genuinely does in fact want to solve the case, but just can't seem to find anyone who could possibly be a suspect, while bumbling, bigoted officer/mama's boy, "Jason Dixon" (Sam Rockwell) just plain doesn't like Mildred. The townsfolk also begin to turn against Mildred, in sympathy towards Willoughby, sending her and her son, "Robbie" (Lucas Hedges) countless threats and harassment. Despite this, Mildred has no intention of removing the billboards until she sees justice for her daughter, keeping them up as the police department fumbles around. But Dixon makes it his mission to take down Mildred, and everything eventually just goes to sh*t.
"Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" is the perfect blend of dark and unpleasantness, with laugh out loud humor, and real drama, that hits all the right notes flawlessly. Written and Directed by Marin McDonagh ("Seven Psychopaths" and "In Bruges"), the film takes on the difficult task of humanizing some, lets just say, rather morally complicated characters. There are very few all good characters as most, if not all of them, do and say questionable things. Not even our main protagonist, Mildred is always in the right, to the point you at times question if you should be on her side in the first place despite sympathizing with her. Then again, pretty much everyone else in the town is horrible too. But that's all the intention. The characters are meant to be human, meaning you are going to see their faults, and yet, you can also see the good in them which makes them all pretty unforgettable.
The excellent cast, who are all their absolute best here, help convey humanity, and of course, are just plain delightful to watch on screen. Frances MdDormand is a guaranteed Oscar nomination for Best Actress (If it doesn't happen, something is wrong in the world). She gives a heartbreaking, powerful, and complex performance that just grabs you instantly, making you empathize, even when she's at her worst. Woody Harrelson gives an emotional and likable performance (He probably is the least unlikable out of everyone), while Sam Rockwell is just terrific, making for probably one of this year's best (And most quotable) characters, who despite occasional moments of horrendousness, does become more fleshed out as she story progresses. The rest of the cast is wonderful, including Lucas Hedges (Who is picking his movies really well lately), Caleb Landry Jones, John Hawkes (as "Charlie", Mildred's abusive ex husband), and Peter Dinklage (as "James", one of the only decent people in town, who has the hots for Mildred).
"Three Billboards" never pulls any of it's punches, and yet even in it's darkest moments, finds at least hints of positive light. One of the most intelligently written movies to come out this year, the laughs hit just as hard as the heaving drama, making you uncomfortable in all the ways that it intends to. I'm uncomfortable just writing about it. And that makes it even better. 4 stars. Rated R For Lots And Lots Of Language, Disturbing Material, And Southern "Charm".
Image: Three wise Camels.
So this is gonna' be an easy one. Religious movies, most of which are Christian, are all over the place these days, and most of them are just plain bad to offensively. Most of them are so down, or in some cases really angry at the world, rather than actually promoting the positive messages of love, family, kindness, and all that good stuff that should actually be associated with faith. So it's just nice to see one that's just, well, really happy. My God is a joyous one.
"The Star" follows the much beloved story of the first Christmas, or more correctly, the birth of the son of God, "Jesus". Except this time from the much needed point of view of the animals involved. We begin with a donkey "Bo" (Steven Yeun), who along with his dove buddy, "Dave" (Keegan-Michael Key) dream of escaping their boring lives and joining the traveling caravan. Their dream takes a different turn when they end up in the care of "Joseph" (Zachary Levi) and "Mary" (Gina Rodriguez), who just so happens to be pregnant with the messiah and future king.
Their journey to Bethlehem, along with a beautiful and mysterious star that appears in the sky, attracts the attention of the three wise men, traveling with gifts on their camels, "Felix" (Tracy Morgan), "Cyrus" (Tyler Perry), and "Deborah" (Oprah Winfrey), who discover that "King Herod" (Christopher Plummer) isn't taking the idea of a new king very well and has sent a silent enforcer, along with his two vicious (And rather incompetent) dogs, "Thaddeus" (Ving Rhames) and "Rufus" (Gabriel Iglesias) to hunt down the so called future king and kill him. Bo and Dave learn of this, and along with an excitable sheep friend, "Ruth" (Aidy Bryant) decide to protect Mary and Joseph on their journey.
"The Star" tells the same story I am pretty sure, every one on the planet has already heard before. Even non-Christians know how this goes. No surprises here, but the movie isn't really about surprises. For what it sets out to do, it's all done fairly well. From Sony Pictures Animation, who you probably remember (And the internet will certainly never let them forget) previously gave us the offensively lazy "The Emoji Movie". Unlike that abomination, this movie at least clever in how it tells it's story. (Aside from a few too many music cues. Pop Christian music is way too in your face for my taste.)
The animation in "The Star" is nothing remarkable, but it's lively and serviceable. As are the characters, who benefit from some actually pretty talented voicework. Steven Yeun is plenty likable, with Keegan-Michael Key getting more of the laughs. Gina Rodriguez and Zachary Levi both do solid work, while easily the funniest moments come from Tracy Morgan, Tyler Perry, and Oprah Winfrey (A somewhat inspired combination). The large cast, which also includes Kelly Clarkson (as "Leah", a singing horse), Anthony Anderson (as "Zach", an insane goat), Kristin Chenoweth (as "Abby", a mouse who actually witnessed the miracle) among others, all pop up to serve their purpose, but do a good job even with most of them stuck in small parts.
The movie doesn't really do much that's different from it aside from the talking animals, and even that itself isn't all that original. The film never truly sets itself apart, but with that said, there is nothing here to object to. It's sweet, innocent, with the noblest of intentions, and just feels joyful, which all Christmas movies should feel. Its not going to become a Christmas classic anytime soon, but its harmless and cute fun for the kiddies. 2 1/2 stars and Jesus approved. Rated PG For.....Ok, Seriously. Why Was This Not Rated G? It's An Animated Christian Kids Movie! That Should Of Been A Given.
Image: Mess with this boy and you and I are gonna' throw down.
We all know kids are the best, always filling the world with wonder and imagination in ways that we stuffy, lame adults just can't seem to do anymore. We also know, on occasion, that they can be incredibly cruel sometimes. All you can hope is that you raise them the right way. Unless you are the parent, and the one responsible for their needlessly mean behavior. Then it's all your fault. You're to blame for how they end up.
"Wonder" follows little "Auggie" (Jacob Tremblay), who was born with a facial disfigurement, which while it has caused some minor health problems in his life, it's never affected his good natured, imaginative personality. After being homeschooled his whole life out of fear of what people might think, his parents "Isabel" (Julia Roberts) and "Nate" (Owen Wilson) decide its time that Auggie goes to an actual school, to live a normal life with other children. We follow Auggie's adventures in the school and even a look into the personal mindset of those around him, including a new friend, "Jack Will" (Noah Jupe), who befriends Auggie despite snobby little twerp "Julian" (Bryce Gheisar) setting his sights on bullying poor Auggie. Auggie's loving sister, "Via" (Izabela Vidovic) feels somewhat neglected by the family, trying to deal with her own problems, which includes her former best friend, "Miranda" (Danielle Rose Russel) seemingly wanting to push her away. We get some insight on a few of these characters, and how knowing Auggie has brought change to their own lives, just as much as his.
From Director Stephen Chbosky (Who previously directed "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"), "Wonder" clearly takes a sentimental and tearjerker route in how it tells it's story, yet it finds a way to make it complex, taking time away from our main story simply to focus on our side characters, who all show their own humanity in a way that's really mature for a movie geared towards a young audience. At times because of that, it can seem a bit jumbled (Mostly probably due to being based on a book that likely explained a bit more), but it all does come together once we reach the movie's end.
Jacob Tremblay has got to be one of the best child actors out there, incorporating some humor, while still giving an emotional performance that never once feels fake. He also has excellent chemistry with Owen Wilson, Julia Roberts, and Izabela Vidovic, providing a great family dynamic. Mandy Patinkin has a sweet small role (as "Mr. Tushman", Auggie's kind principal) and all the young actors do fulfill their roles well. It's all thanks to a script that gives some good laughs to balance out the heavy subject matter, which is treated in an at times dark, but fairly realistic manner.
Leave it to a good family movie to provide some nice, old fashioned feels in a way that's honest without getting too overly sappy. "Wonder" is to put it nicely, wonderful. The film treats the topic of bullying, among those who can be perceived as different respectfully, while also filling the film with a childlike innocence that is sure to connect with many families. Believe it or not, the best movie for me to recommend this week isn't the one with all the superheroes and the explosions. It's the one of those nice, last second surprises that catches you off guard and brings smiles all around to the audience. Auggie's the real superhero. 3 1/2 stars. Rated PG For Bullying And Kids Who Are Just Big "Ol Meanies.
Image: "Holy Marvel's still better than us, Batman!"
The DC Extended Universe has had trouble finding it's footing in the world, trying to catch up with their own answer to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, while doing their beloved (And honestly, even more well known) characters justice. It also sucks that for the most part, they've been ridiculed by critics, and in their defense, the movies ("Wonder Woman" and most of "Man of Steel" excluded) have been disappointments in more ways than ones, despite plenty of talent behind them. This put a fan of DC like me in a bit of a pickle right now. There is that side of me that constantly reminds me that I am in fact a DC comics fan who just wants to see these beloved heroes succeed. I have to find the right balance between critic and partisan. I'm still evolving.
"Justice League" begins with the world still reacting to the death of the Man of Steel, "Superman" (Henry Cavill). This brings out the arrival of the exiled, power hungry alien general, "Steppenwolf" (Voiced by Ciarán Hinds), who intends to finish what he started many years before, by collecting the three ancient, "Mother Boxes", which are made up of powerful energy capable of reshaping the planet for his master, "Darkseid" (DC comics Big Bad. Look it up.) Realizing that the time as come to bring his team together, the Caped Crusader, "Bruce Wayne/Batman" (Ben Affleck) works with his loyal butler, "Alfred Pennyworth" (Jeremy Irons) and his new lovely ally/amazon warrior princess, "Diana Prince/Wonder Woman" (Gal Gadot) to gather up a select few with special abilities.
This elite group of heroes includes nerdy speedster, "Barry Allen/The Flash" (Ezra Miller), alcoholic heir to the Atlantian throne, "Arthur Curry/Aquaman" (Jason Momoa), and cybernetically enhanced college student, "Victor Stone/Cyborg" (Ray Fisher), who survived a tragic accident due to his scientist father, "Silas Stone" (Joe Morton) using a Mother Box to save him. The team is clearly outmatched by Steppenwolf's massive army of fear sensing monstrosities, known as "Parademons", and must learn to put aside their petty differences if they are to save the world, and with the possible arrival as a seemingly deceased friend, they eventually form "The Justice League".
Much like the rest of the DC Extended Universe, "Justice League" has been plagued with problems from the start. whether it be nonstop rumors of reshoots, script changes, tone changes, executive meddling, and most tragically, Director Zack Snyder leaving only months before release due to the suicide of his daughter, leading to Joss Whedon (Who previously directed "The Avengers" and "The Avengers: Age of Ultron") to fulfill directorial duties for the remainder of the post production. As many have said, it feels like the movie has been directed by two separate people literally, and it's clear to see that all these problems would affect the finished project in more ways than one. Really, it's a bit of a miracle that the movie is at all coherent, let alone that it even exists at all.
"Justice League" has clearly been altered, going for a more lighthearted tone than previous entries in the franchise, The film, to me, benefits from that change. Even with obvious cuts and chopped up scenes (There's gonna' be an Extended Cut, isn't there?), the film keeps itself focused, from point A to point B in a way that's safe and fairly basic, but retains a sense of likability and overall heart, which has been something that's been very much needed for the DCEU. The action is as wild and in your face as ever, but when the movie focuses on our main heroes (And actually shows them being, well, heroic), that's when it truly shines.
Ben Affleck is still a great Batman, showing character development since his last appearance, going from rather cruel and battered down to the justice seeking leader of the group. He has some solid chemistry with Gal Gadot, who by this point is still absolute perfection as Wonder Woman. The new additions, though in some ways very different from their comic counterparts, still get proper introductions despite this being their first true appearance in the franchise. Ezra Miller is completely lovable, serving as not only the comic relief, but also the audience surrogate. (Basically, he's what we geeks would be like if we had superpowers.), Jason Momoa is a ton of fun, stealing several scenes, and showing that the character can actually be pretty badass (Yeah I've read the comics. Aquaman is still boring.), and Ray Fisher, who despite mostly being covered in distracting CGI, does bring some actual humanity to his role. It's no spoiler that Superman does eventually return (You knew that, right?), and Henry Cavill, (Who I never thought was bad in the role), gives his best performance this time around, adding in humor, charm, and in a couple moments, some real intimidation.
"Justice League" gives us a lot of actors, in small or important parts, that all serve a purpose, including the always adorably charming Amy Adams, the awesomeness that is Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane (as "Martha Kent", Superman's adoptive mother), Connie Nielsen (as "Queen Hippolyta", Diana's mother), J.K. Simmons (as "Commissioner James Gordon", Batman's trusted ally), and Amber Heard (as "Mera", Aquaman's pretty, and badass, future love interest.) Then we get to our villain problem. Ciarán Hinds is doing a fine job and the character is certainly menacing looking, but aside from a few moments, he never really gets much development or motivation, simply serving as a big CGI monster that the heroes need to confront (Then again, I never saw Steppenwolf really do much in the comics anyway, so making him our big bad to get behind was probably a mistake.)
The biggest and most distracting flaw with "Justice League" would be the overuse of CGI, which despite the massive budget, really doesn't look at all convincing. Its made worse by the fact that 80% of the movie is CGi, especially when you get to the bombastic finale. Not all of it is bad, some of it looks better than most, and I had trouble noticing that Henry Cavill's mustache had been removed digitally. (Don't ask. Just another production issue.), but when the heavy use of special effects plays such a large part in the film, especially since our main villain and his minions are made up of them, it just puts off the audience and takes them out of the movie.
The production problems, many of them understandable, are hard to get away from. But still somehow "Justice League" at least shows a step in the right direction. You can tell which parts were Zack Snyder, and which were obviously added in by Joss Whedon right down to the tone, which ends up coming across as more cheerful, than dark. While that makes the movie more disposable, with lowered stakes, and originality, it does make it more of a joy to watch. The chemistry between our main characters is just too good, and even with the film's many flaws, there is a sense of endearment to it, that just made me smile. It's probably more of a guilty pleasure than an actually good movie, but hopefully its a sign of what good is to come. I can be had, but It's just a movie, right? 3 stars. Rated PG-13 For Big CGI Action, Some Language, And....Really, It's Fairly On The Tame Side.
Image: Future Oscar winner.
I'm going to get real deep here. But sometimes the simplest of stories are the most powerful, giving you the wide variety of emotions that life itself gives you, and presenting it in movie form. We experience a selection of feelings particularly when we're growing up, such as joy, sadness, uncertainty or confusion, constantly worrying about who we will be or where we will go when he finally leave the nest as they say....Heavy, right? It's somewhat uncomfortable when you really think about it. So if I found that way, I can only imagine what young girl just turning 18 would probably feel. Now with "Lady Bird", I got to experience it, and it's way more awkward than I would of thought. Guys have it easy.
"Lady Bird" takes place in the early 2000s, following the life of a young woman living in Sacramento, "Christine McPherson" (Saoirse Ronan), who goes by the nickname "Lady Bird" (That she gave herself), while she begins to wrap up her Senior year of Catholic High School. Lady Bird goes about her life, demanding more out of it, wanting to get out of her hometown and go to a college as far away and as quickly as possible. Lady Bird is constantly at odds with her mother "Marion" (Laurie Metcalf), arguing with her often and continuously getting into trouble at school.
She joins the theater club mostly due to falling in love with the nice, theater loving, but possibly gay "Danny" (Lucas Hedges), along with developing another crush on a "Bad boy" musician "Kyle" (Timothée Chalamet). Lady Bird begins to change even more in these final months, replacing her nerdy BFF "Julie" (Beanie Feldstein) with the popular girl "Jenna" (Odeya Rush), all while secretly trying to get her loving, but unemployed father "Larry" (Tracy Letts) to find a way to get her into a college of her choosing (Meaning, more expensive and further away). Basically the movie is a simple coming of age story of a teenage girl, becoming an independent woman in probably the most realistically awkward way possible.
Let me just get this out of the way, "Lady Bird", which is slightly semi-autobiographical of Director and Writer Greta Gerwig's own young life, is one of the best films of the year. (Top 5 guaranteed) It could easily go down as one of the best written ones, with so many memorable characters (Right down to basic supporting ones) that the movie occasionally will detour just to give them some slight focus, providing insight into their own life, and therefore making the movie feel more real.
"Lady Bird" is how you do the coming of age story in a way that's insightful, funny, sweet, but never in your face with sentimentality, simply presenting our story as it is, and how it should be presented. The dialogue is some of the funniest you'll hear in any movie this year, sprinkled in with some honest heart and emotion, that's never cloying, but sure enough should tug at the heart strings. The feeling that the film presents should be able to relate to anyone, young women in particular, who have all likely felt the way our main character, Lady Bird has from time to time, whether it be the wanting of more, the desire to just get away from where you've lived your entire life, or even the conflicting of strong personalities. The movie gives the most focus on Lady Bird and her mother, who go from happy with each other, to arguing about something out of nowhere, but then reverts back to their contentness, sometimes within a few minutes. (Yeah. I have seen that before.)
It's the relationships that work best, thanks to the wonderful performances of it's cast, with the absolute perfection that is Saoirse Ronan continuing to impress. She's complicated, but remains lovable and endearing, even when she's at her most troublesome. Her chemistry with Laurie Metcalf is a mother, daughter relationship at it's most touching, with Metcalf giving a strong, and very passionate performance of her own. It's probably one of the best collection of cast members, with some great work from Tracy Letts, a great Lucas Hedges, Timothée Chalamet (Who apparently has Oscar buzz for another film coming out soon), Beanie Feldstein, and a few notable parts from Stephen McKinley Henderson (as "Father Leviatch", Lady Bird's sad music teacher) and Lois Smith (as "Sister Sarah Joan", a mentor of sorts to Lady Bird), all given their share of laughs, drama, and shown in a positive way.
Briskly paced and straight to the point, "Lady Bird" deals with heartbreak, family, and growing up with Gerwig's direction handling it brilliantly in a way that only a good filmmaker can. Destined to garner many Oscar nominations, and last I checked, still holding a rare 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. (Seriously, don't let Armond White touch this one. Stop him at all costs.) It's impossible to dislike, easy to relate to, and should become an instant classic. 4 stars. Rated R For Language, Adult Content, And Lady Problems.
Image: Three Amigos.
The story of the old war veteran buddies getting together after years apart has kind of become a classic story. It's been done many times before, of course.Yet to be perfectly honest, I have a soft spot for this stories like this. It's a way of getting to know characters as people, flaws and all, and if there is one director to not only do this story right, but give it the respect it deserves, it's Richard Linklater.
"Last Flag Flying" opens thirty years after the Vietnam War, with Vietnam veteran, "Larry "Doc" Shepherd" (Steve Carell) tracking down one of his old army buddies, "Sal Nealon" (Bryan Cranston), who always has fairly been on the wild side, especially when it comes to alcohol. Doc convinces Sal to take him to a church where they find another one of their army buddies, "Richard Mueller" (Laurence Fishburne), who has found God and has become a pastor.
Mueller really wants nothing to do with them, especially Sal, but Doc tells them about his son enlisting into the army and being killed in action while in Iraq, convincing Sal and Mueller to go with him to the funeral. Once they arrive, Doc learns the sad truth about how his son actually died, becoming disillusioned to his government and those who run it, deciding that he wants to take his son home to bury him instead. So the trio embark on a strange road trip, reminiscing about the war and coming to terms with what they did in the past and what they will do in the future.
"Last Flag Flying" is based on the book by Darryl Ponicsan (Who also co-wrote the film with Linklater), which is a sequel to his other book, "The Last Detail", making this movie an unofficial sequel to the 1973 film version. (Unofficial meaning "Kind of, but not really") The movie takes a hard, but very heartfelt and often funny look at these complex characters and their history together, along with their reactions to the current world around them. The film takes on issues such as what kind of an impact war (And the almost indescribable horrors you can witness during it) can leave on you, regardless of how much you show it. It also shows how some things about it never truly change in regards to reasons why some wars begin, and why they stick with certain people.
Our main actors are just perfectly cast, with great chemistry and dialogue with each other. They feel like real people, each with personal, but understandable problems. Steve Carell (Who is having a great year in terms of performances) is undeniably powerful, displaying sadness and grief, which makes his occasional smile and laugh all the more heartwarming. Bryan Cranston is also at his best here, along with Laurence Fishburne (Finally getting a good role) giving intricate, likable, and emotional performances. We also get some excellent work from fairly newcomer, J. Quinton Johnson (as "Charlie", a friend of Doc's deceased son/fellow soldier).
Despite honestly treading through familiar territory (To the point where some audiences seem to roll their eyes at movies like this), "Last Flag Flying" displays a lot of heart, focusing on veteran brotherhood and keeping your patriotism, even when you don't like who is in charge of your country, or how they're running it. It does so in a way that retains some humor and time taken to allow honest emotion to sink in. I saw the film on Veteran's Day, with an audience full of older people, who all seemed to gravitate towards it. That is a great thing if you ask me. 3 1/2 stars. Rated R For Strong Language And Subject Matter.
Image: "Yeah Mark, I'm shocked we got a sequel too."
I know "Daddy's Home" was a surprise hit, but it was basically just a trailer idea than an actual movie. There were funny parts here and there, but like most mediocre comedies, it was at least one very funny guy, with one joke stretched to movie length. So why would a pointless sequel really be any different? Aside from being more pointless that is.
"Daddy's Home 2" starts off with former rivals, turned BFFs, "Brad" (Will Ferrell) and "Dusty" (Mark Wahlberg) coming together as "Co-Dads" for their kids. Christmas is coming up and they decide to have a Christmas where both families celebrate together as one. Complications arise in the form of Dusty's jackass father, "Kurt" (Mel Gibson), who invites himself over for the holidays, along with the arrival of Brad's overly talkative father "Don" (John Lithgow). Kurt is determined to make things miserable for everyone, so he arranges for the families to stay together in a cabin in the snow. The families both arrive, along with Brad's wife "Sara" (Linda Cardellini), Dusty's wife "Karen" (Alessandra Ambrosio), and their combined kids and step-kids, while Kurt plots to ruin Brad and Dusty's already rocky relationship. Things get even worse when Karen's ex husband "Roger" (John Cena) shows up (Who totally hates Dusty), and more wacky stuff happens from there.
"Daddy's Home 2" is more of the same, except this time, a bit more unnecessary than before and probably less funny. The first one wasn't exactly a riot, but there were a couple more laughs present before, where here I swear I laughed maybe once or twice. (The Thermostat joke is easily the funniest. Its an old one that never fails to get a laugh out of me. My Grandpa would have loved it.) Much like the first one however, it's basically a live action cartoon with pratfalls, goofy reactions, and people acting stupid for the sake of stupid.
Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are both fine together, sharing some decent enough chemistry, with Linda Cardellini being her absolutely adorable self. The casting of Mel Gibson and John Lithgow as the fathers is actually quite inspired. They are nowhere near as funny as they should be, but the movie is more about the idea of what's funny, then what actually is. Overall the plot is something that could be solved fairly quickly, but since this is a stupid comedy, everyone reacts in the most over the top way possible, all leading to a "Climax" that tells you the filmmakers really didn't have much of an endgame in mind.
While also pointless, "A Bad Moms Christmas" at least had a good heart to it. "Daddy's Home 2" tries to, but doesn't make it feel genuine. The movie feels like an excuse for all the actors to have fun together, crack a few jokes, and goof off. Which is fine really. At least they're having fun. Somebody has to during this movie. It's not exactly painful, you just wonder what's the point of spending ticket prices to watch family holiday dysfunction, when you can get plenty of that at home for free. 1 1/2 stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Jokes And Ruthless Will Ferrell Abuse. (At Least He Kept His Shirt On This Time.)
Image: I know who done it.
Agatha Christie novels were probably the definition of what I would consider as perfect mysteries, particularly the ones about her most popular characters, detective Hercule Poirot. I would say one of the best stories involving him would be "Murder on the Orient Express" (Also, the first of these books I ever read), which is probably why it's been adapted, parodied, and just described to people so many times to the point some already know what's going to happen without actually reading the book. Still, there is a reason why it's so popular and why it's been done so many times, which is probably why I had such a damn good time with this one.
"Murder on the Orient Express" follows the famed, slightly obsessive detective, "Hercule Poirot" (Kenneth Branagh), who is in desperate need of a vacation (And also happens to have an exquisite mustache). In order to escape any demands for him to take a case, Poirot is given a chance by his friend, "Bouc" (Tom Bateman), who happens to be the director of the famous "Orient Express", to take a three day trip to get away from it all. While on board, Poirot meets a strange variety of characters, including the slimy, thoroughly unpleasant "Samuel Ratchett" (Johnny Depp), who fears he might be in danger and wants Poirot to protect him. Despite being threatened, Poirot refuses. That night, the train ends up caught in an avalanche, leaving the passengers stranded. Poirot stumbles upon Ratchett's murdered corpse and realizing that he just can't get a damn holiday, takes the case to find Ratchett's murderer.
Poirot begins to investigate all of the subjects, including "Governess Mary Debenham" (Daisy Ridley) and "Dr. Arbuthnot" (Leslie Odom Jr.), who she seems to have a close relationship with, a missionary "Pilar Estravados" (Penélope Cruz), the slightly racist "Gerhard" (Willem Dafoe), the bossy "Princess Dragomiroff" (Judi Dench) and her assistant "Hildegarde" (Olivia Colman), Ratchett's secretary "Hector MacQueen" (Josh Gad) and butler "Edward Masterman" (Derek Jacobi), the flirty "Caroline Hubbard" (Michelle Pfeiffer), "Count Rudolph Andrenyi" (Sergei Polunin) and "Countess Elena Andrenyi" (Lucy Boynton), the conductor "Pierre Michel" (Marwan Kenzari), and salesman "Biniamino Marquez" (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo). While looking into the suspects, he begins to see an odd connection to an old, tragic case of a young girl's death, which reveals even more about not just the suspects, but also the victim.
Director Kenneth Branagh, despite an occasional change here and there, basically just recreates "Murder on the Orient Express" in a way you've probably seen a dozen times, with very little surprises. But he just happens to do an interesting job with it. The movie is flashy and excited, keeping a solid pace throughout the decently sized runtime. The plot is simple and old fashioned, almost to a fault, but we really don't get movies like this anymore. (Last murder mystery I saw was "The Snowman", and that was a piece of crap.) It's hard not to have a little fun, especially when you already know what happens and you see if anyone else can figure it out for themselves.
Kenneth Branagh does just as excellent a job in front of the camera as he does behind it, giving an utterly brilliant and incredibly entertaining performance that just makes you want to watch his continuing adventures. We get some great work from the rest of the massive cast, with some standouts being the lovely Daisy Ridley, a delightful Willem Dafoe, the always wonderful Johnny Depp, a wisely toned done and sinister Johnny Depp, and a shockingly excellent performance from Josh Gad. (Had no idea Olaf could pull off a dramatic scene like that.) Some could see Michelle Pfeiffer as somewhat hammy, but there is at least an explanation for that later in the movie.
There are a few unnecessary bits, such as an out of nowhere chase scene or an attempt at an action sequence, and overall "Murder on the Orient Express" isn't anything new and doesn't even try to be. However, the film has a nice, quirky sense of humor, is thoroughly fascinating, and even though I knew what was going to happen in the end, I still found myself on the edge of my seat by the climax. You do wish we could get more movies with this mindset, going for good old fashioned thrills that Hollywood just seems to want to avoid these days. 3 stars. Rated PG-13 For Adult Content, Disturbing Images, And Multiple Stabbings.
Image: "With this feather, we can tickle Blastoise until he Squirtles!"
I'm gonna let all of you in on a little secret. A deep, dark secret that I have kept hidden for some time now......I used to be a Pokémon fan. Like a really big Pokémon fan. As in, I watched nearly episode of the original series, owned a closet full of cards, video games, and toys, and even memorized the original 151 Pokémon by heart. Then like a Facebook friend I knew from high school, we just drifted apart without even realizing it. Still, there are some nostalgic memories that truly never go away.....Pika Pika.
In a world where all animals are actually Pokémon, creatures that come out of little balls, and are used for training and battle,"Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!" is basically a retelling (Retooling? Redoing?) of the fateful meeting of the humorously named, young protagonist who never ages, "Ash Ketchum" (Sarah Natochenny) and his trusty, spunky, and all around lovable first Pokémon, "Pikachu" (Ikue Ōtani). Despite a rocky start, Ash and Pikachu become the best of friends, sharing an inseparable bond. Once Ash begins his journey to become the greatest Pokémon master (His mom did say to dream big.), he witnesses a glimpse of the mysterious "Ho-Oh", a rare bird like Pokémon, that leaves one of it's rainbow feathers behind for Ash to take.
Sometime later, Ash and Pikachu befriend fellow trainers (Not Misty and Brock, because they no longer exist apparently), "Verity" (Suzy Myers) and "Sorrel" (David Oliver Nelson). They decide to join Ash and Pikachu as they learn about the legend of the Rainbow feather and it's connection to the legendary Ho-Oh. Setting out to find him, they come across an abused "Charmander" (Fire Pokémon), Ash's develops a relationship with a "Caterpie" (Bug Pokémon), and meet a stereotypical jerky trainer, "Cross" (Voice Actor Name Unavailable). Also, wannabe baddies/members of the crime gang "Team Rocket", including "Jessie" (Michele Knotz), "James" (Carter Cathcart) and their talking cat Pokémon "Meowth" (Also Carter Cathcart) show up to constantly get themselves blown up.
"Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!" is the twentieth Pokémon movie, which is also meant to celebrate the franchise's twentieth anniversary. (Now I feel old....) (It's also the first Pokémon related thing I've been a part of in years. Haven't even touched a card or played a game in who knows when.) So it was quite the nostalgic trip to see Ash and Pikachu on the big screen once again. (Especially since I saw the original "First Movie" back in 1999.) It's honestly about as cheesy and goofy as I remember. From the dialogue, the voice work, the film basically embraces the narm and campiness, to the point it's fairly charming in it's own bizarre way.
The plot of "I Choose You!" is pretty episodic, recapping (And well, just retelling) emotional moments from the original show, with a few bigger plot points added in, along with our new characters, Verity and Sorrel, who are likable, but don't add much (While Cross is just here to be our bully character, who is just a laughable, walking cliché.) The real stars have (And always will be) Ash and Pikachu, whose relationship is undeniably heartwarming, and I do like that the other side Pokémon, like Charmander (Who eventually becomes Charizard) and Caterpie (Who eventually becomes Butterfree) are given their own emotional story arcs. And Team Rocket's inclusion is mostly here for comic relief, but they're still so pathetically bad at being, well, bad, that they're just plain lovable.
The movie leads up to a last second "Wham Line" in the climax, that got a mix of laughter, audible gasps, and people bursting out in tears from the audience. It was so pure, apologetically cheesy that it's kind of commendable in how seriously it's taken and delivered, which basically sums up the movie as a whole. "Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!" is thinly plotted, with little reason to exist aside from the nostalgic factor, and is campy as you can possibly get, but it's so earnest in it's execution, that it's hard to dislike. The animation is beautiful to look at, there are good messages, and a genuine heart that should please longtime fans and most importantly, will make the kiddies happy. It's a goofy, but well intentioned kids movie that offers enough good morals and good nature to recommend. I'm honestly just glad I got to see something I grew up with continue to remain in the limelight. I'll hold them in my Poké Balls forever. 2 1/2 stars. Not Rated, But It Feels Like A Solid G Rating.
Image: "Hulk Want Infinity War Trailer NOW!"
When it comes to the immense success of the "Marvel Cinematic Universe", the weakest link has always been the mighty "Thor". Now his first two movies ("Thor" and "Thor: The Dark World") are far from bad, (In fact, I'll still say they are genuinely good, entertaining superhero flicks). They have just felt less necessary to the grand scheme than the others. So maybe a bit of an overhaul (And a heavy dose of comedy) was the best decision they could of made. Thor needed to chill out.
"Thor: Ragnarok" begins with the God of thunder, "Thor" (Chris Hemsworth) traveling to find out who's manipulating all the bad events through the film series, along with getting over no longer dating Natalie Portman. (I feel ya' dude.). His journey takes him to the lair of a fire demon, "Surtur" (Voiced by Clancy Brown), who warns of the incoming "Ragnarok" (Which means the apocalypse for Asgard). Thor returns home to Asgard to discover that his mischievous brother, "Loki" (Tom Hiddleston) has been posing as their father, "Odin" (Anthony Hopkins). Thor forces Loki to return to Earth with him to find Odin, and after getting some help from a cameo from "Doctor Strange" (Benedict Cumberbatch), they find out where Odin has been exiled.
But the reunion doesn't last long when Odin confirms that Ragnarok is coming, in the form of Thor's older sister/the Goddess of Death, "Hela" (Cate Blanchett), who claims that Asgard belongs to her. After destroying Thor's magic hammer, Hela defeats both Thor and Loki and proceeds to take over Asgard and return it to it's conquering ways. Meanwhile, Thor winds up on planet of gladiators, run by "The Grandmaster" (Jeff Goldblum), who wants Thor to become part of his arena. Thor ends up being reunited with (And takes a serious beating from) "Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk" (Mark Ruffalo). Thor plans to return to save Asgard from Hela, gathering a team consisting of Banner, Loki, and disgraced warrior, "Valkyrie" (Tessa Thompson) to return to Asgard before Hela sets her sights on the rest of the universe.
"Thor: Ragnarok" takes a bit to find it's footing, seeming a bit clunky in the opening few minutes, especially when it has to do away with some ongoing elements from the first two. But the second the film realizes what it's going for, it's a constantly moving, absolute blast till the explosive finish. Going full blown comedy gives everyone, including the audience, some of the most enjoyment you can possibly get out of a superhero movie, along with some of the most laughs.
From Director Taika Waititi,(Known for a lot of weird, quirky comedies), the movie embraces the bizarre, reveling in some freaky imagery and goofy scenarios, never taking itself too seriously. (There's a freakin' Willy Wonka reference in this.) He takes the movie down a route that is actually pretty risky, but it actually all works out for the better, mostly because the movie is just laugh out loud hilarious. Visually, it's Marvel at it's most colorful, with the effects on the Hulk (Who is more prominent here than in any of the other films) by this point are quite flawless and lively.
Chris Hemsworth is Thor (And he always will be), coming across as incredibly lovable, funny, and thoroughly awesome. He has some great back and forth with Tom Hiddleston, who is at his most enjoyably weasely. Mark Ruffalo is absolutely perfect. Cate Blanchett just devours the scenery and is having the time of her life doing it. (And yes, she is just ridiculously hot. How has anuone not noticed that through the years?) Karl Urban (as "Skurge", an Asgardian who works with Hela to save himself) is a delight, along with Jeff Goldblum, who is basically just playing Jeff Goldblum. (But is that really a bad thing?) Tessa Thompson is actually not here just to be a new replacement love interest (In fact, there isn't a romantic subplot at all), becoming a welcome addition to the Marvel Universe, and she gets to have just as much fun as the guys do. The biggest show stealer comes from Taika Waititi himself (as "Korg", a rock gladiator who becomes friends with Thor), getting some of the biggest laughs. Sadly, Idris Elba (as "Heimdall", the former gatekeeper, turned resistance leader) and Anthony Hopkins get about as much to do as they've had in any of the previous movies. (Luckily this time, they do serve a purpose to the story)
"Thor: Ragnarok" might not be one of Marvel's best when it comes to storytelling, even though it feels a bit more important than the previous "Thor" films. But it does utilize one of Marvel's biggest strengths, which is just having a good sense of humor about itself. Not to mention a crazy finale that feels a bit more well thought out the more I think about it. (Oh, so that's what Ragnarok really meant?) Its enough fun for the casual fans, the comic nerds and geeks, and the average moviegoers to all enjoy. 3 1/2 stars. Rated PG-13 For Violence, The Mandatory Christ Hemsworth Shirtless Scene, And The Devil's Anus. (It makes sense in context)
Image: Now that's a happy Santa. But where are his bag of goodies?
Alright, lets keep this one short and simple. Because as far as movies like this go, I'm not a Bad Mom, so I'm not the main demographic for this film. Much like the first film, there definitely are plenty of people who are going to just love the Hell out of this. And despite the more negative reception from critics, lets be honest, is this really that different from the last one? I think all of the good Mom's have earned it.
"A Bad Moms Christmas" starts with the "Bad Moms" from the first movie, "Amy" (Mila Kunis), "Kiki" (Kristen Bell), and "Carla" (Kathryn Hahn) deciding to do away with all the stress that comes around Christmas time, and just keep everything simple. (While once again engaging in raunchy activities) Everything seems to be going great until the arrival of their own Mothers, including Amy's overly critical Mother "Ruth" (Christine Baranski), Kiki's crazy and overly affectionate Mother "Sandy" (Cheryl Hines), and "Isis" (Susan Sarandon), Carla's Mother who only shows up when she needs money. Now our Bad Moms must juggle their own Mommy problems, along with family issues, and other wacky antics as the most wonderful time of the year draws closer.
"A Bad Moms Christmas" is basically "Bad Moms", except on Christmas, Its silly, dirty, lacking much actual plot, and is mostly there to make your Mothers madly cackle in the theater with her friends. But it's also made by people who understand their audience, with actors who don't sleepwalk through the film,a couple decent laughs, and a heart that feels genuine. I know I should hate this movie, but aside from just being unnecessary, there's nothing really to hate.
The laughs are mostly cheap, and certainly are as raunchy as you can get, but you do get an occasional chuckle out of them, especially thanks to the chemistry of the cast. Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn are a hoot together, and they give the movie actual life and likability. With Susan Sarandon, Cheryl Hines, and Christine Baranski all being perfectly cast as our main characters' Mothers (With Baranski getting probably the best laughs in the entire movie). Our cast is here to bring good nature to all the dirty humor, which makes the film's good intentions ring true.
If you liked the first "Bad Moms", then you should logically have a good time with "A Bad Moms Christmas". It doesn't really need to be here. However, its a lowbrow, but sweet little diversion that will probably make your Mamas happy. Isn't that good enough? Do you not want your Mama to be happy? 2 1/2 stars. Rated R For Santa Strippers, Dick Cookies, Vagina And Ball Waxing, And Stuff You Don't Want To Think About Your Mom Doing.
Image: MATT DAY.....Actually, he doesn't look too happy. Better not upset him more.
Sometimes even the best of talent just gets it wrong. Even when they're at their most ambitious, they can forget about the most important (And basic) forms of plot and story structure. Sorry, George. It just didn't work. Critics didn't care for your movie, and neither did audiences. 9th at the Box Office, with less than $3 million. Tough life. Gosh, you don't want to grow up to be like George Clooney, do you?
"Suburbicon" takes pace in 1959, in the peaceful town of "Suburbicon" full of sunshine, happiness, and white people. (Lots and lots of white people.) The world of the townsfolk starts to crumble the second an African American family moves in, sending the people into a panic. Meanwhile, the home of "Gardner Lodge" (Matt Damon) is broken into, where two robbers (Alex Hassell and Glenn Fleshler) tie up Gardner, his blonde wife "Rose" (Julianne Moore), her red haired twin sister "Margaret" (Julianne Moore, obviously), and his son "Nicky" (Noah Jupe). The robbers chloroform the family, giving Rose an overdose and killing her.
While Nicky's loving uncle "Mitch" (Gary Basaraba) insists on getting to the bottom of this, Nicky's life starts to take a weird turn. While he befriends the son of the African American family, Margaret sticks around at home and dyes her hair blonde like his dead mother. Soon, the arrival of an insurance agent "Bud Cooper" (Oscar Isaac), and the townspeople on the verge of a riot due to the "Colored" neighbors sends everything in this so called utopia descends into chaos.
"Suburbicon" is what happens when you cram too many, almost unconnected ideas into one complete package, without really focusing on any of them. Director George Clooney wants to make a dark comedy, a social satire, with commentary on racism, while tossing in a plot about murder and a mystery surrounding it. It's just too much of everything, that nothing gets enough attention. Which is a shame because on their own, you could have a lot of fun with these premises on their own, poking fun at them in a darkly comedic way. But the film just becomes a jumbled mess.
The script that, along with Clooney and frequent collaborator Grant Heslov, is co-written by Joel and Ethan Coen, guarantees there will be a fair share of quirky comedic moments, even in some of the more violent, disturbing scenes. There are moments where it does somewhat come together. it's just not often enough, and most of the time, you feel like shouting at the screen for it to just pick a story and roll with it. All the plot points don't always mesh, leaving the audience confused as to what's happened and what's the point of it all.
Matt Damon and Julianne Moore (Who looks pretty cute with red and blonde hair) are both doing a solid enough jobs. The real scene stealer is Oscar Isaac, who only gets a handful of scenes, but gets the best laughs and just livens up the screen just with his charisma alone. The movie focuses a bit too much on young Noah Jupe, and simply leaves the African American family as nothing more than a detour, getting little to no focus or characterization. (Really, that should of been the main plotline.)
"Suburbicon" is trying to say something, but it's something we've seen done before, and much better. And when you botch that up, it just makes the final product even more disappointing. Its unfocused and doesn't have enough laughs to really sell the satire. Its just too ambitious for it's own good. Everyone involved will recover. Just a misfire.2 stars. Rated R For Language, Casual Racism, And White People Slang.
Image: A Jawa begins his murderous rampage. "Utinni!!!"
Ah, "Saw". One of the newer horror icons that struck a cord with many horror fanatics very quickly. For a while, there was a new one every year, around Halloween, with it becoming somewhat of a staple of the holiday. While I never actually saw any of them before this new sequel/reboot/cash grab, I still mostly thought it was just gross torture porn that basically ruined the horror genre for nearly a decade. Not saying I was particularly wrong, but being someone left with no choice but to look at a film objectively, I gotta give credit where it's due. Eh, Somehow less revolting and uncomfortable to sit through than "Boo 2!"
"Jigsaw" opens with an arrest and the investigation of a recent murder, which sets up a supposed "Game" revealing that more will die gruesomely in a way that bears a resemblance to the brutal style of the now deceased, infamous serial killer, "John Kramer" (Tobin Bell), also known as "Jigsaw". Detective "Halloran" (Callum Keith Rennie) investigates the case, with assistance from forensic pathologists, "Logan" (Matt Passmore) and his cute assistant/weird Jigsaw fangirl, "Eleanor" (Hannah Emily Anderson).
Meanwhile, five people wake up in a barn (And a creepy pale puppet), strapped to torture devices, being forced by Jigsaw to partake in his game and confess their sins to survive. The group includes "Anna" (Laura Vandervoort), "Mitch" (Mandela Van Peebles), "Carly" (Brittany Allen), "Ryan" (Paul Braunstein), and some other guy who gets sawed to bits. The remaining four must survive the game, while confronting their demons while the investigation into the supposed reappearance of Jigsaw raised the question as to if this is just a copycat, or the real Jigsaw has somehow risen back from the grave.
"Jigsaw" is in some ways what you are expecting, with a lot of gross out sequences, with characters suffering through over the top torture devices, while others try to figure out a way to stop the killer. its pretty basic as far as movies like these go. The interesting thing here though is that the movie goes for trashy fun, only on occasion actually succeeding at it, with a big plot twist and reveal that could hands down be the biggest shock I've had in a movie in a while. (Seriously, freakin "Jigsaw" actually shocked me.)
Directed by The Spierig Brothers, who direct the film pretty basically, but with a few moments of flair (And bad CGI), "Jigsaw" is mostly there to give the fans what the want, without any intention to draw in anyone new. Gore and blood are splattered all over the place in grotesque fashion, yet it seems oddly toned down than what I was expecting. (Maybe I was just expecting worse.) The characters are there to serve their purpose with plenty of mediocre performances that have been trademarked by this franchise.
Callum Keith Rennie gives one of the more entertaining performances in the movie, piling on some good smarm and snarkiness to his character. Matt Passmore is our bland as Hell protagonist, with our victims doing little more than screaming (And dying), with Paul Braunstein not giving a crap in the slightest to the point it makes his constantly loutish performance slightly enjoyable. Hannah Emily Anderson is oddly cute (In that torture porn fanatic sort of way), and an uncredited Tobin Bell (Who does show why the character has become a popular horror icon) brings a menacing presence every time he's on screen (Or whenever you hear his voice.).
While I'm not exactly changing my opinion on how damaging this franchise could be (There are some real sickos out there who get off to this crap), but I can see how "Jigsaw" could be seen as enjoyable garbage, especially with a couple moments of dark humor (But not nearly enough). The premise is interesting to say the least, and towards the end, we do get some clever character reveals, along with a plot twist that at least shows that the filmmakers did at least put some thought into this. (Also on a side not, there was not a single jump scare in this entire movie. Gotta' give credit to that.) If you're a fan, you're probably gonna eat this up (And vomit it back up afterwards), so it doesn't matter what I say. I'm just being fair when I say, "Jigsaw" is not horrible, or even that bad. It's what you pay for. Why you look forward to it is your problem. 2 stars. Rated R For Squishy Guts, Melted Faces, Slicey Slices, Stabby Stabby, And Other Ways You Can Violate The Human Body.
Image: The "Green Goblin" warps yet another young mind.
For movies like this, most film critics would take the pretentious route, bringing out their thesaurus, and look for the biggest, most intellectual words to describe the film. (You know, like all those TV spots and posters that just highlight those words.) But I like to write from the perspective of, well, an actual human being in a way that it would sound if I was describing it to a person in front of me. So the best way to describe "The Florida Project" would be "....Dang this movie! Why did you have to shatter my heart into a million tiny pieces like that?"
"The Florida Project" takes place during the summer at an extended-stay motel called "The Magic Castle" in Florida. The movie basically just follows the everyday life of a little, troublemaking, but lovable 6 year old girl, "Moonee" (Brooklyn Prince), who lives with her reckless, but loving young mother, "Halley" (Bria Vinaite). Moonee and her friend, "Scooty" (Christopher Rivera) befriend another girl from another hotel, "Jancey" (Valeria Cotto) to join them on their many escapades, which involve pranks, destruction of property, and just all around being a negative influence, while the manager, "Bobby" (Willem Dafoe) tries to keep a handle on everything. Eventually the summer will be coming to an end, and the lifestyle that's been established will follow, as Halley's own personal issues start to become clear, which will effect Moonee due to how much of an impact she has on her daughter.
It's hard to describe the plot to "The Florida Project" mostly because the narrative is told through a series of events or moments, much like life itself really. (Its not like "Madea", where it's basically plotless) There is a story, which is simply the lives of the characters living in the hotel, along with the occasional visitor or random person who appears. The film still feels like there is a story-like structure, which deals with harsh reality and heaving subject matter, seen through the eyes of a little girl.
Beautifully directed by Sean Baker, who manages to fill the movie with a sense of wonder (Shown with all the strange little shops and places that appear throughout), despite never shying the way from some of the real unpleasantness of the lives of these characters. "The Florida Project" is heartfelt, with moments of humor to balance the film out. The characters feel like real people, with their own personal flaws (Some of which glaring and could be considered downright unlikable), yet you can't help but care for them.
Willem Dafoe gives an absolutely wonderful performance that's already generating Oscar buzz, along with little Brooklyn Prince, who is just so full of charm that she dominates the screen every time she's on it. Other young newcomers Valeria Cotto and Christopher Rivera are great, and Bria Vinaite is also brilliant, retaining humanity, even during her character's more complex (To put it nicely) moments.
"The Florida Project" comes across as oddly hopeful, regardless of how the film is inevitably going to end. (You know it's gonna happen, yet it's still heartbreaking.) I don't find the film to be cynical in the slightest. It's just showing a focus on something that really never gets the attention (Or the respect) it deserves. Once we get to the abrupt end, you feel a flood of emotions as you leave the theater, especially with that final shot that will be talked about for years to come. (Curious how they managed that one.) No need for me to drop some overly pretentious quote for this one. Just to tell you that it's something special. 4 stars. Rated R For Language, Adult Content, And Other Unkid Friendly Activities.
Image: "This! Is! SPAAAACE!"
There is the subgenre that always seems to be a part of disaster movies, which I have dubbed "Stupidity Cinema". Just pile on as much delicious stupid as you possibly can in a way that only someone like Roland Emmerich would be proud of. By this point, you pretty much know what you're gonna get to the point that even when it's disappointingly boring, you really can't be mad because....Well......What the Hell did you expect?
"Geostorm" begins far off in the future of.....2019, where Trump...I mean, global warming has completely screwed us. So all the nations come together as one to create "Dutch Boy", a space station that uses millions of satellites that are scattered all around the planet to control the weather. Flash forward to plans to make the station more international, since the US mostly controls it and just wants to make it fair, the architect behind Dutch Boy, "Jake Lawson" (Gerard Butler) is fired by his younger brother, "Max" (Jim Sturgess) because the higher ups just plain don't like him. Flash forward a second time, where a "Malfunction" causes a satellite to completely freeze an Afghanistan village and Hong Kong to literally get blown to Hell.
Realizing that something is clearly wrong (Aside from the fact that we're all basically playing God here), "President Andrew Palma" (Andy Garcia) and his secretary of state, "Leonard Dekkom" (Ed Harris) suggest to Max to find Jake and request that he go back into space to see what's wrong with Dutch Boy. Despite being in a pissy mood, Jake decides to go, only to discover that this wan't a malfunction, and that it's all part of a crazy conspiracy to use the Dutch Boy to create a chain reaction of insane disasters across the globe, creating a "Geostorm". Jake and Max must discover who is part of this conspiracy from both their ends before it's too late, even though by the end no matter what they do, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE DEAD!
"Geostorm" never lives up to the hilarious level of dumb that you would expect from a movie like this, in which you can't help but burst out laughing at the absurdity on screen. Part of the reason is because Director Dean "Roland Emmerich's protege" Devlin takes the film much too seriously, to the point where its just kind of boring. It's just as moronic as the next big, destructive action/disaster movie, almost inventively so. It's just not all that entertaining. It's just kind of.....there.
In terms of special effects, "Geostorm" is nothing special, but they're serviceable enough, and we do get to see some cities get obliterated beyond repair in ways that are undeniably enjoyable (In a sick sort of way). The film does on occasion give you the right amount of entertaining silliness that makes movies like "Independence Day", "White House Down", or others like it, schlocky fun. The movie never really commits to it, and tries to have actual drama, which it fails miserably at.
It's nice to see that Gerard Butler has completely given up trying to keep his accent in check, but it's oddly part of his charm. (And to his credit, he does have screen presence), Jim Sturgess and Abbie Cornish (as "Sarah", Max's secret service girlfriend) aren't particularly interesting, while Andy Garcia just has the constant look of confusion on his face during every scene. And it seems pretty obvious that Ed Harris is only here for a paycheck. Really the best performance comes from Talitha Bateman (as "Hannah", Jake's daughter), who, much like in "Annabelle: Creation", does show some genuine acting talent and could become a solid young actress. By the way, you don't need me to tell you who the bad guy is. You can take just one look at the cast and figure it out on your own.
"Geostorm" is as stupid as they come, but just doesn't quite have the absurd entertainment value that other movies like it have. With that said, it still does it's job of causing destruction and silliness as well as it possibly could. Unlike, say, "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween", it's at least made by people who know what the word "Narrative" means. It's big and dumb, but you know what you're getting into. Only this time, it's just more forgettable than anything. What movie were we talking about? 2 stars. Rated PG-13 For Destruction Of Cities, Gerard Butler's Scottish/American Accent, And MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE DEAD! Does Anyone Ever Notice That?
Image: Please lock the up and throw away the key.
How do you spell out the sound of just one long, exasperated groan? It's the only feeling you can have during this hour and forty minute long, giant fart of a movie. And, much like a fart, you know it's coming. And there's still nothing you can do about it.
"Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" starts almost a year after the first one, on the day before Halloween, where spoiled little twerp, "Tiffany" (Diamond White) is apparently having her 18th birthday (Didn't mention that in the last one, did ya?) and once again isn't happy, mostly because her dad, "Brian" (Tyler Perry) is a stupid moron. Tiffany wants a car, Brian says she isn't responsible for one, but Brian's ex-wife/Tiffany's mom, "Deborah" (Taja V Simpson) just lets Tiffany do whatever and just straight up buys her a new car. Brian is upset because, well, he's a pathetic dork, who can't control his daughter. And once again, they have to deal with the arrival of the horrific monstrosity known as his Aunt "Madea" (Tyler Perry, Again), and her vile minions, "Hattie" (Patrice Lovely), "Aunt Bam" (Cassi Davis), and the perverted (And possibly dangerous), "Uncle Joe" (Tyler Perry. ONCE AGAIN!).
Tiffany wants to have a do over with the fraternity from the last movie, led by "Johnathan" (Yousef Erakat), who are going to have a Halloween party at a lake where people were all brutally murdered years before. Brian says "No", Tiffany says "Screw Him" and asked Deborah, who says "Eh, Go Ahead", Tiffany, along with her friends, the constantly whining "Gabriella" (Inanna Sarkis) and the always twerking "Leah" (Lexy Panterra) go off to the party. Brian is once again upset that he isn't getting his way and decides to just let them do whatever. Which is good because some crazy killers and demon children are on the loose, going around terrorizing everyone, and Madea shows up with her buddies to do their stuff. And that was way too much for a movie that literally has no plot.
"Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" is basically the same damn movie all over again. So little is actually different, yet somehow Director Tyler "I know you know you are better than this" Perry (Who also wrote and produced it) found new and inventive ways to make it even worse. Everything is cheaper and lazier than ever, going for the lowest form of comedy, while also just plain not making any sense. The entire situation (And even some of the jokes) are completely nonsensical, seemingly just made up on the fly, with little connection to anything else.
Much like the first one, "Boo 2!" comes across as so unlikable and mean spirited, in which basically every character is a piece of crap in their own unique way. It doesn't help that the acting all feels like it was done in the first take. Diamond White's character has become increasingly grating since the last movie, seemingly having learned nothing from the supposed "Lesson" from before. Cassi Davis and Patrice Lovely speak in such an over the top manner that I honestly have no idea what they're saying most of the time. (Doesn't make them any less annoying). The less I say about the uncomfortableness of Tito Ortiz (as "Victor", Brain's buddy/Gabriella's dad) the better.
Then we get to Tyler Perry himself, who I know can act and can even be funny from time to time. But here, once again, it makes me question ever giving him credit for anything. Madea is as obnoxiously, grotesquely, cruel as ever, Uncle Joe is just steps away from becoming a possible rapist (You really don't want to know), and Brian, who especially comes across as the worst this time around once we get to a so called plot twist, is constantly whining about how he just isn't getting his way. (Apparently everything is everyone else's fault but his. You share blame in the fact your daughter is a horrible person too, you know,)
It's weird how I'm not at all shocked that "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" is horrible beyond reason, yet I'm still furious that is. The filmmakers could probably make the argument that the movie is nothing to be taken seriously and that it's meant to be one giant joke. The bad news is that the joke just isn't funny. Its the equivalent of being held hostage in which you don't know when it's going to end, and the moment you think it might be, it just keeps going. By this point with these movies, it's not even safe to just assume the worst. No stars. (It's my website. I can give as little stars as I please.) Rated PG-13 For Bad Dubbing Over Swears, Horrible Make Up, And Lots Of Round Booties. (Seriously,. Like A Lot.)
Image: Heroic first responders....Or "Madea"....You decide.
We do seem to have a bit of a disconnect with certain film based on real life tragedies, especially ones that are fairly recent. More than half the time, they end up being well intentioned, but overall just kind of pointless, lacking the real amount of drama, emotion, and most importantly, the humanity of such a story. Then sometimes you get something like "Only the Brave" which actually finds a way to balance out all of that, and make it stick with you.
"Only the Brave" tells the true story of a crew of firefighters known as "The Granite Mountain Hotshots", which includes crew leader "Eric Marsh" (Josh Brolin), his second in command "Jesse Steed" (James Badge Dale), the cocky, but well intentioned "Chris MacKenzie" (Taylor Kitsch), struggling rookie recruit "Brendan McDonough" (Miles Teller) and many others. The film follows the crew working hard to finally get approval to become an official hotshot crew that confronts wildfires, while showing most of their personal lives, such as Marsh's difficulty balancing his commitment to the job and his wife "Amanda" (Jennifer Connelly). This all leads up to the fateful (And later tragic) fight against the "Yarnell Hill Fire" in 2013.
"Only the Brave" takes an admittedly tired genre, and fully commits to it. With only the occasional overdone cliché sneaking in, the film somehow finds a way to make it work, thanks to the obvious amount of heart that's been put into the film. Director Joseph Kosinski ("Tron Legacy", "Oblivion") shows a lot of directorial range, balancing out the drama, some humor that helps develop the characters, and a strong focus on how scary the job of a firefighter can be. (Fire never looked so terrifying.)
The script is smart and compelling, and the characters come across as entirely human, thanks in part to the actors portraying them. Josh Brolin is wonderful, as is his chemistry with Jennifer Connelly, who might be giving one of her best performances here. Miles Teller is flawed, but likable and easy to root for, along with Taylor Kitsch (Who has moved past the days of "Battleship" very quickly.). And lets give a little more credit to James Badge Dale, who is becoming a consistently reliable actor, and is excellent here.
"Only the Brave" is just a well done movie that honors the memories of the true life heroes, treating them as people in a way that's complex, making the film's heartbreaking finale all the more emotional. (Its actually a bit of a gut punch really.) I honestly feel bad that I actually knew little about this story, and hope it becomes something a bit more well known to other people. Too bad it isn't gonna make a profit compared to "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween". Priorities, people. 3 1/2 stars. Rated PG-13 For Terrifying Real Life Drama.
Image: "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?"
You know it's a bad sign when a movie's own director gives it a negative review. Director Tomas Alfredson ("Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy") admitted that 10-15% of the screenplay for "The Snowman" was not shot during filming. But while that's certainly played a part in what happened here, that can't be the only problem. It was probably already a bit of a mess before it just became a total disaster.
"The Snowman" follows washed up, drunken crime squad detective "Harry Hole" (Michael Fassbender) in Oslo, Norway during the winter. He ends up involved in a missing person's investigation with new recruit, "Katrine Bratt" (Rebecca Ferguson), who seems really invested in the case. The missing person is a cheating wife and mother, which is a bit like most other women who have vanished during snowfalls like this.
Harry learns that the person responsible is a serial killer, known as "The Snowman", who targets women like this, leaving snowmen at the crime scene. The Snowman has also taken in interest in Harry, leaving notes and clues to taunt him. Harry and Katrine team up (Kind of. It's weirdly complicated.) to track down this killer before the next snowfall, while the filmmakers themselves try their best to piece together the tragic remains of their brutally murdered movie.
Much like the titular killer, "The Snowman" is just wrong on so many levels. Even with the knowledge of a troubled production, the film is all over the place, feeling stitched together in a desperate attempt to have it all make sense. In the end, we're stuck with something that feels constantly distracted with many out of nowhere subplots and scenes that rarely come together. While Tomas Alfredson can film a pretty shot or two (Especially of the mountainous landscape), he can't save what little of the film actually remains.
I doubt troubled production is all that was really the problem with "The Snowman" (Although it sure as Hell didn't help). The film follows a standard, predictable route, with very few surprises aside from some nonsensical reveals (Twins? Why are there twins?) and baffling editing choices (Quick two seconds of guy getting his head blown off. Was that supposed to be a scene?) Michael Fassbender is usually a terrific actor, but here he looks bored and out of it, seemingly just trying to get through his performance quickly so he can return home to Alicia Vikander. (At least he's got his priorities straight.) Rebecca Ferguson is plenty lovely and is trying her absolute damnedest to make this movie work, despite the fact you know very well where her abruptly short story arc is gonna lead.
Too many actors are wasted like Charlotte Gainsbourg (as "Rakel", Harry's ex girlfriend, who does nothing), Toby Jones (as "Svenson", an inspector who appears for a couple minutes) and the great J.K. Simmons (as "Arve Støp", perverted businessman who seemingly plays a big part, then vanishes from the movie entirely.) Then we have poor Val Kilmer (as "Gert Rafto", another washed up detective who only appears in flashback),in the film's most bizarre bit. Seeing and hearing an obviously dubbed over voice, poorly synced to Val Kilmer's moving lips is something that's going to be mocked for a long time.
A good murder mystery is meant to be complex, but cohesive, so the audience can actually follow what's going on and what's leading up to the big reveal. However, "The Snowman" has so many loose ends and scenes missing, that it just doesn't make any sense. Neither does the reveal as to who the real killer is, which is just as inconsistent as everyone and everything else. (It's like he's intentionally trying to get himself caught.)This could of been something grim, but kind of cool, but instead just ends up being as silly (And shockingly boring) as the over the top dramatic music that plays every time we see a snowman. The filmmakers probably think Olaf from "Frozen" is the most terrifying thing ever. 1 star. Rated R For Gory Images And Terrifyingly Poor Sound Editing.
Image: "Hey, you're Jackie Chan....AAAHHH!"
I can't be the only one who thinks this, but I just can't see Jackie Chan being sad. I'm used to the more lovable, always happy Jackie Chan. And when he puts on a sad face, it's the biggest, most depressing sad face you will ever see. Still, sad Jackie Chan will kick the crap out of you if he wants to. So don't push him.
"The Foreigner" starts with loving father, "Ngoc Minh Quan" (Jackie Chan) witnessing the death of his daughter, "Fan" (Katie Leung) in a horrific bombing caused by a group calling themselves "The Authentic IRA". Quan is a lonely man and former Vietnam special forces veteran, so with no other remaining loved, he sets out to find out who the names of the bombers are himself, targeting Irish deputy minister, "Liam Hennessy" (Pierce Brosnan).
Quan knows Hennessy was once an IRA member in the past. Though Hennessy claims to know nothing about what happened and really isn't doing much about it, Quan eventually gets tired of Hennessy's sh*t and proceeds to go after him personally. He forces the names of the bombers out of Henessy, while becoming involved in some dirty, sleazy, and dangerous political intrigue, which proves to be much more complicated than you would expect.
"The Foreigner" is not exactly what you would imagine it would be, due to it actually being more of a political thriller than a full on action movie (Though there are plenty of sequences of well choreographed action). The movie really takes it's time, with a complicated story that has many subplots that do eventually all come together by the end (For the most part anyway.) There are a couple threads that probably could of been left out.
Despite a bit too much going on and a few admittedly unavoidable clichés, "The Foreigner" does a solid job nonetheless.The story is undoubtedly fascinating, with some unexpected twists and turns that at times feel convoluted, but exciting enough to keep you invested and interested in where this is all going to lead. Jackie Chan, (Who is known for more lighthearted action roles in the US), gives an excellent and emotional performance. (And his sad face, man. It's just so heartbreaking.) Pierce Brosnan is complexly slimy, coming across as human, but remaining a dirtbag nonetheless. There is a pretty decently sized cast, with many characters and the actors doing a good job playing them, but it's Chan and Brosnan's show, and they are certainly worth the ticket price on their own.
"The Foreigner" is nothing too original, and probably will more unsettle viewers with how dark and grim it is than entertain them. But Director Martin Campbell ("Casino Royale") keeps the pace moving, with some believable action scenes, some interesting topics, and for at least trying to do something new with the genre. Its nothing all too special, but you do get to see some good actors try out something new, and dominate the screen with their presence alone. And I hope that puts a smile back on Jackie Chan's face. 3 stars. Rated R For Hardcore Violence, Language, And The Most Despicable Form Of Politics.
Image: "It's like deja vu, all over again."
Sorry my reviews are a bit behind lately. I've been too sick to do much of anything this weekend. Mix that in with work, and a big ass Deer destroying my only form of transportation, and you got yourself a constant cycle of complications. Not too much unlike our main character in "Happy Death Day"....You know, except for all the dying.
"Happy Death Day" starts with college student, "Tree Gelbman" (Jessica Rothe) waking up in the dorm room of a nice guy she met the night before, "Carter" (Israel Broussard). It just so happens to be her birthday, which she wants nothing to do with, so Tree goes about her day, being a jerk to most people around her, including her roommate, "Lori" (Ruby Modine), and her equally jerkish sorority leader, "Danielle" (Rachel Matthews). She fools around with her married teacher, "Gregory" (Charles Aitken), and proceeds to get herself murdered by some unknown killer, wearing a mask of the college mascot (Those mascot's always have a smile on their face. But they're evil.)
Suddenly, Tree wakes up back in Carter's room, starting the day over again, up until she gets killed a second time, which starts the day over once again. Tree, with help from Carter, decides to use her constant revivals to find out who her killer is, which she realizes really could be anyone that she's wronged in the past, all while learning to become a better person in the process.
"Happy Death Day" knows this whole "Groundhog Day" scenario has been done many times before, and while it doesn't exactly do anything new with it, the movie just so happens to have a ball with it and does an excellent job with it. The film knows it's silly, but is smart about it, using it's premise in a way that's clever and funny. It's really more of a comedy than a horror movie.
Directed by Christopher B. Landon ("Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse" and....one of those "Paranormal Activity" movies), "Happy Death Day" wisely plays up more of the humor than the scares, which makes the movie safe, but also leaves room for a surprisingly likable story to come out, with even a few moments of heart. We also get a fun cast of characters, whose committed actors give better performances than you would expect a movie like this to provide.
Jessica Rothe (Who I just know as one of Emma Stone's friends in "La La Land") is utterly perfect in the movie, full of personality and charm, even with her character's less embraceable moments. She does a great job in the more horror based moments, the comedic aspects, and even some of the more emotional moments, retaining likability and a reason to root for her. She also has great chemistry with Israel Broussard, who comes across as a very likable character. Everyone in the movie really does a better job than what was probably asked of them. The only downside is that it can be seen as pretty obvious who the killer ends up being revealed to be. (I see a lot of movies, so it's a bit hard for something like that to shock me these days.My innocence is gone.)
Hands down the sweetest slasher flick I've ever seen, "Happy Death Day" has a great emotional core to it that's unexpected, but works to the benefit of the movie. It's combined very well with a smart script that acknowledges it's silliness, and never acts stupid about it. It's one of those nice little surprises that I look forward to, and personally, I kind of see it having a bit of a fanbase in the future. Because I can sense what;s going to happen tomorrow. It's looking like it's going to be a lot like today. Your welcome. 3 1/2 stars. Rated PG-13 For Jumpy Scares, Language, And Killer Baby Faces.
Image: Furry Con 2017 .
Here's something I never thought I would have to talk about. Bronies. That just came out of nowhere didn't it?. A group of adult men who happen to like a show that was clearly meant for little girls. (At least, that's the basic way to describe it.) I can't get too into on how good the show is because I've seen very little. (I do remember thinking it was much better than it had any right to be, with some occasional funny moments and cute characters.) It's one of those things that can seem weird in the eyes of other people, but if you really think about it, it's just another geeky fanbase. I mean, I know more "Star Wars" knowledge than actual history, I still collect "Transformers", and I am currently watching the new "DuckTales" cartoon because it's clever and funny. The whole Brony craze is different, but I feel like I understand it. Maybe we all have Brony tendencies. Live and let live.
"My Little Pony: The Movie" begins in the magical (And insanely colorful) kingdom of Equestria, where all the little ponies live in harmony, having parties and learning morals about friendship. "Princess Twilight Sparkle" (Tara Strong) is put in charge of organizing a festival to celebrate the power of friendship, with help from her many friends, the tough pony "Rainbow Dash" (Ashleigh Ball), the farmer pony "Applejack" (Ashleigh Ball. Again.), the insane pony "Pinkie Pie" (Andrea Libman), the shy pony "Fluttershy" (Andrea Libman. Again.), the beauty obsessed pony "Rarity" (Tabitha St. Germain), and their little dragon buddy "Spike" (Cathy Weseluck). But trouble arrived in the form of "Tempest Shadow" (Emily Blunt), a hornless unicorn acting on orders of the dreaded "Storm King" (Liev Schreiber), who wants the magic of all the princesses all to himself because he hates friendship and magic.
Twilight and her friends are forced to flee Equestria when it is taken over. Now on the run from Tempest and her soldiers, the little ponies set out to find the legendary "Hippogriffs" (Who have transformed themselves into seaponies to escape the Storm King) to help save the day, while coming across a bunch of strange characters, including a band of parrots, er, I mean, pirates, led by "Celaeno" (Zoe Saldana), and a suave con artist cat, "Capper" (Taye Diggs) (Who is definitely going to be the subject of a ton of furry art.) The ponies learn their lessons about, well, friendship and stuff, while looking cute and bouncy doing it.
Based on the hit rebooted (And oddly popular, especially in the geek community) animated series, "My Little Pony: The Movie" is....well...exactly what I would expect a movie based around little magical ponies would look like. It's colorful to the point of blinding, ridiculously cute, and full of so much sweetness that plenty of the uninitiated will just hate it's guts for just how sugary it is. The movie is basically candy on screen for an hour and forty minutes. But regardless of what any of us critics think, there are people who are gonna gobble it all up. Luckily the film simply embraces what it is from the start.
"My Little Pony: The Movie" borrows all the basic plot points from your average Disney movie, following a rather predictable path, complete with forgettable songs, with the exception of one by Sia (Also voicing "Songbird Serenade", who is basically just the pony version of Sia) leaving an impression. There are cutesy jokes galore, with a few nice self aware ones and an occasional so bad its funny pun. (Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Ha!) The animation is undeniably pretty to look at and is certainly creatively sparkly to say the least.
The film also utilizes it's excellent vocal talent to their best abilities, with the wonderful Tara Strong getting the limelight, and the other cast members from the show, including Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St. Germain, and Cath Weseluck showing that they are pros when it comes to voice work. We also get good work out of the celebrity cast with an excellent Emily Blunt and some occasional funny lines from Taye Diggs and Michael Peña (as "Grubber", Tempest's always hungry hedgehog minion), the adorable Kristen Chenoweth (as "Princess Skystar" a perky hippogriff), and a hilariously out of control, hammy performance from Liev Schreiber, who doesn't get anywhere near enough screentime, but was certainly worth the price of admission.
Good natured and almost disgustingly cute, "My Little Pony: The Movie" gives you exactly what is advertised. It's not something really for me (And I might just be going a little easy on it), but unlike something like "The Emoji Movie", this one has an actual heart to it and some genuinely charming moments. It knows what it is and who it's for, and has no problems showing it. The little girls (And yes, so will the Bronnies) will of course love it regardless of what I have to say. And you know what, that's fine. So ya got some Brony tendencies. I understand you....Now if you find yourself physically attracted to a pony, I can't help you there. 3 stars. Rated PG For Pony Puns. Lots And Lots Of Pony Puns. (Really, This Could Of Been An Easy G Rating.)